22. Corinthians #2
Madea looked over her shoulder at me and gave me the look that told me she knew I was lying. “You sure?” she asked, and I nodded. “Because if it's something else, we can talk about it.”
“I’m good,” I insisted. “I’m just checking in so Granddaddy won't be beating down my door in a few days is all.”
Her eyes slowly took me in and then nodded. “Alright.” She turned back again to focus on her dishes. “Because if you aren’t, all you gotta do is point. No words needed.”
“I know, Madea,” I told her, remembering what she told me as a kid.
“For someone who knows you ain’t ever did it,” she replied. “Now tell me about what you have planned for your shop. You interviewed any barbers yet?”
“Not yet,” I said, thankful that she changed the subject. “I have a few interviews set up for tomorrow, and this weekend the furniture will be delivered.”
“What's your timeframe to be open?”
“I want to be open by the end of the month.”
“That’s quick,” she replied.
“I know, but I’m literally just waiting for the last few pieces to fall in line. Nothing is holding me back.”
Madea turned off the water, grabbed the towel off the counter next to her, and dried her hands. “Well, I’m proud of you,” she said, turning around. Her smile was infectious, and I couldn’t help but return it. “And just know that I’ll be there the first day, taking pictures to add to my wall.”
“I know, Madea,” I said, nodding.
“Madea!” Exodus yelled, and I laughed. She rolled her eyes and threw the towel on the counter. “Madea!”
“In here, Exodus,” she yelled back. “Come on in.”
“No ma’am,” he told her. “You gotta come to the door. We are going back to my childhood rules.” Exodus was the latest one to walk in on her and Granddaddy. “You come to me!”
“I swear you kids are dramatic as hell,” she mumbled, shook her head, and walked out of the kitchen.
I followed her, surprised to see the rest of my cousins and even my sister with him.
The only person missing was Cross, but that wasn’t abnormal since she didn’t live here. “Oh hell, why is everyone here?”
“We came to talk Best Friend,” Krude said stepping around Exodus. He pulled her into a hug and kissed her cheek. “This shit is unacceptable.”
“What shit?” she asked, letting him go and stepping back.
“The fact that you got all of us traumatized and scared to walk into your house,” Krude replied, shaking his head. “I know you and OG think y’all grown, but we need to have the safe sex talk.” He took her hand and pulled her towards the living room.
“Hey,” I laughed as they passed me.
“What’s good, Corinthians?” he replied and winked. “You good, baby cousin? You need anything?”
“I’m good,” I told him, and he nodded. The rest of my cousins passed me, speaking as they did so. Psalms was the last; she took my hand, and we walked to the living room.
Madea sat in the chair across from Judge; Exodus and Mercy sat on the big couch across from her. Krude sat on the coffee table, and Psalms and I sat on the love seat. She looked between all of us and rolled her eyes.
“I’m pretty sure I had the sex talk with you all already,” she pointed out and shrugged. “But if you need another lesson, we can go into more details.” She sighed, then sat forward. “A man has a dick-“
“Madea!” Krude yelled and stood. He quickly turned to Exodus and pointed to Madea. “Get her man! Like for real, get her!”
“This was your idea,” Exodus laughed and shook his head. “I didn’t want to bring my ass over here and have this talk.”
“Yet you were on my phone crying about how you walked in on her and Granddaddy raw dogging it on the couch,” Krude reminded him. “Screaming and hollering all in my phone and shit.” He sat back on the table. “Now you trying to switch it up?”
“He didn’t walk in on us on the couch,” Madea said, shaking her head and waving Krude off.
“He said the living room, Madea; where else was y’all old asses gonna be but the couch? Y’all wasn’t getting on the floor,” Krude replied.
Madea looked at the coffee table he was sitting on, then shyly smiled. Krude looked down at the table, then back at her. “Mary DeCorte, you were lying low and spreading it wide on the damn living room table?” He jumped up again. “How many times have I sat there?”
“When I walked in on them, they were on the dining room table,” Judge told him.
“Living room wall,” Mercy said.
“Front steps,” Psalms said.
“Car in the garage,” I told them.
Krude put his hands on his head and started walking in circles. He was visibly distraught, and all I could do was laugh.
“Having a healthy sex life at their age is normal and actually a good thing,” Judge pointed out. “It’s a scientific fact.”
“Harlot, no one asked you about shit,” Krude mumbled. “You over there talking about scientific facts and shit. Nigga you look at people’s eyes all day! Shut up talking to me.”
“Oh, Krude, don’t be upset that he’s telling the truth,” Madea said, waving him off. “Your granddaddy and I get some of that weed from Psalms that helps relax us, and the next thing we know we are on each other.”
“Oh, so this is the Drug Dealers fault?” Krude asked, looking at Psalms. “I know someone who works for the DEA.”
“I don’t sell it to them,” Psalms said, laughing.
“So you're saying they steal it?” Krude questioned her.
“No,” Psalms denied, shaking her head. “I give it to them for free.” She reached into her pocket, pulled out a bag, and tossed it to Madea. Krude caught it instead of Madea. “Every time I stop by, I give them a new strain.”
Krude looked at the small bag. “You over here experimenting on my grandparents?” he dramatically asked. “Girl, they are not your test subjects.”
“We’ve been her test subjects since she was fifteen years old,” Madea said, standing. She snatched her bag from Krude and pushed him out of her way.
“Fifteen?” He put his hands on his hips. “Madea, what kind of shit were you allowing in your house?”
“You lived in here, you know,” she said, walking into the kitchen.
“Now shut up talking to me. I gotta finish cleaning before yo granddaddy get here; if it’s not, he’s gonna punish me.
” She came back out of the kitchen with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye.
“But now that I think about it, I might like it. Fuck them dishes.” She walked out of the living room and headed to her bedroom.
“I’m calling DFS,” Krude said, watching her walk down the hallway. “She’s going to jail.”
The doorbell rang, and Exodus stood. “I’ll get it,” he announced, then walked past Krude. “I told Wednesday to meet me here.”
Krude claimed Exodus's seat, grabbed the remote from the table, and turned on the TV. “It’s a party at Swope this weekend,” Krude said as he flipped through the channels. “I’m thinking about sliding through it if anyone wants to go with me.”
“We don’t,” Judge replied.
Exodus walked back into the living room with who I assumed was Wednesday. He did a quick introduction, and when Wednesday's eyes landed on Psalms, he stopped.
“That’s the cousin I was telling you about, the botanist,” Exodus said, pointing to Psalms. “She can have flowers in all your restaurants and shit.”
“Hi, how are you doing?” Wednesday said.
His eyes were locked on Psalms. The look of interest in his eyes was obvious.
I looked over at Psalms to see that she was withdrawing into herself.
Psalms wasn’t overly fond of male attention, which is why I was surprised when she told me she was seeing Joshua.
To everyone else, she looked normal, almost bored, and she turned her head, but I knew my sister and realized that she was nervous or downright scared.
“I know it's probably the last thing you wanted to do with your off time, but I was telling Ex about my problem, and he mentioned that you own your nursery. If you’re open to it, I would love to talk about a possible business venture.” He took his card from his pocket and handed it to her.
“Give me a call when you get a chance.” Psalms nodded and took his card.
He stepped back, licked his lips, and continued to watch Psalms closely.
He pulled the collar of his shirt, then cleared his throat.
“Have a good one.” Wednesday spoke to everyone again, then Exodus walked him to the door.
“Drug Dealer, you gotta work on your people skills,” Krude said, shaking his head. “That nigga was two seconds from getting on his knees to beg you to look at him.” He kissed his teeth.