26. Corinthians #3
“Here we go,” the doctor said. “Push, Corinthians.” I took a deep breath and pushed as hard as I could.
“We have a face. Give me two seconds before you push again.” She moved, and the nurse handed her something.
I looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath.
“Alright, let’s go. Let’s get this baby out.
Push, Corinthians.” I nodded, then bared down again.
Pushing harder than I did before. I felt something that felt like fire flash through my body, then push, then relief. “And it’s a boy!”
“Thank you, God,” Madea said, standing beside me. She patted my arm and nodded. I could see the tears in her eyes as she smiled.
“Auntie, you want the honor of cutting the cord?” she asked Psalms.
“Yes,” Psalms excitedly answered. We’d already had a conversation about her cutting the cord. “Oh Sissy, he’s adorable.” A few seconds later, the sound of crying filled the room, and a baby was set on my chest. I didn’t move or wrap my arms around him; instead, I looked out the window.
“The easy part is over; let's get this placenta out, and you cleaned up so you can hold your baby,” the doctor said. I sat up, bared down again, and pushed out my placenta. While they cleaned me up, I watched Psalms and Madea watch over the team who was checking out the baby.
“He’s good,” the doctor said. I looked at her and lifted my brow.
“You look concerned but also have that mother's glare in your eye. Like you’re waiting for someone to say or move the wrong way, and you’ll jump from this bed for that baby.
He’s good. They are doing a quick post-delivery check on him, then they’ll wrap him up for you to unwrap him once he’s in your arms like every other new mama does to check him out. ”
I lay back and looked at the ceiling.
“Oh, he has the prettiest eyes,” I heard Madea say. “What are they? Grey? Blue?”
I squeezed my eyes tight to keep my tears from falling.
“Corinthians, look at him,” Madea excitedly said. I couldn’t. I couldn’t look at a baby that reminded me of Robert.
“I will later,” I said. I was feeling overwhelmed.
“Corin-“
“Later, Madea.”
I covered my face with my hands when I heard him start to cry. My body started to shake.
“What the hell is going on with her?” I heard Psalms ask.
“Labor shakes,” my doctor answered. “It’s not abnormal and should subside quickly.”
“She should be holding her baby and bonding with him,” Madea said.
“And she will, Mrs. DeCorte; the shakes are typically harmless but are unpredictable. One of you holding the baby while she settles is okay. I usually encourage mothers to let someone else hold the baby while they deal with them. She doesn’t really have any control over her body, and they aren’t a cause for concern with them being this mild, but I would rather be overly cautious. ”
“Are you sure?” Madea asked.
“Yes, ma’am,” my doctor replied. She patted my leg. “Corinthians, you’re going to feel like you're shivering from the cold, but if you feel anything other than that, do not hesitate to let someone know. Press that call button immediately.”
“Okay,” I said, nodding.
***
“I don’t know who he looks like,” Isaac said, standing over Judah’s bassinet. He looked at his brother Paul, then squinted. “I mean, I can see you, I guess.”
“I see Tyrell,” Paul chuckled. “And Mims, and Buckee.”
“Nah, I see Robert,” Tyrell said, shaking his head.
All three men stood over Judah’s bassinet, hands on their hips, faces twisted as they stared at him. Like the paternity of my child was a joke to them, and to a degree it was. It was obvious they found joy in this. Joy in seeing my pain, which is why they were here.
“What about you, Corinthians?” Issac asked. He glanced over at me and smirked. “Who do you see when you look at your baby? Which of us is his daddy?”
I didn’t say anything; I didn’t have a response to a question I couldn’t answer. I hadn’t looked at my baby.
“Oh, cat got your tongue?” Isaac asked with a laugh. “Damn, I expected more from you. You’re a mama now. Speak up. Who the fuck do you think this little nigga looks like?” he pointed to Judah. “Huh?”
“You already know it doesn’t matter,” Tyrell chuckled, then patted him on the shoulder. He turned to me and smiled. “Robert sends his best. He can't be here due to some family business. He did ask us to make sure you were okay, though. Do you need anything?”
Again, I had nothing to say. It didn’t matter if I needed anything; I would never ask any of them.
“Look, I know this is hard,” Paul sighed.
“It's going to be a big adjustment in your life. A new baby is a big damn deal.” He put his hands in his pockets and walked around the room. “We are here to help, be your extra support.” He looked at me and smirked. “Robert told us to tell you that whatever you need, he will provide. That he’s happy for you.” His smile dropped.
“And that nothing has changed. You will always be his pet. Your relationship with Isaac will stay as it is. He will come around from time to time, and when he does, you and Judah will do what you are told because if you don’t…
.” his brow lifted and he tsked. “Don’t be dumb, Corinthians, not now.
Not after all this time, okay? Play your part, know your role.
Don’t piss him off.” Paul patted my foot.
“Right,” Isaac agreed. “Because you have more to lose now.” He winked, then all three of them left my hospital room.
I looked over at Judah’s bassinet, then at the door. I slowly got up out of the bed, picked up my blanket, and sat on the couch under the window. Even though I could hear people outside of my room, I didn’t move, didn’t care.
I didn’t have any more fight left in me.