Chapter 10 #2
It would take only a slight move of his arm to reach out and touch her waist, for his fingers to close around her curves there and pull her into his embrace.
Julie would have to do little more than lean forward to press her cheek against that wide chest. She knew that if she did, his arms would close around her.
He wouldn’t pull away. He wouldn’t tell her he’d found another woman or that it was time for him to go.
If she asked him to, Will would probably hold her as long as she wanted.
Or was she just fooling herself again?
Ah, that was her secret: she had a habit of falling for the wrong men. Previously, they’d been corporate hotshots, tech-centered bores, or cocky entrepreneurs. Will was the complete opposite in many ways, but that didn’t make him the right one.
She cleared her throat and tore her eyes away from his chest, though in her mind, she could still feel his imagined touch. “That’s nice of you. You might find me a lot more boring if you knew me a little better.”
He spread his palms in an open gesture. “Then let’s try that. We’ve had a bit of time together, but it’s not enough. My offer of a cruise around the bay still stands.”
“Will…” It almost hurt her physically to have to reject him, and she didn’t want to keep doing it, yet she still liked it when he asked. A civil war was raging inside her, and she had no idea what side she was on.
“Okay,” he said, easily relenting. “We can always talk right here if you’d like.”
“Over the dirty dishes?” she teased.
“I can’t think of anything more romantic.” He reached over to the stove, picking up the baking pan the bread rolls had been on, and brought it over to the sink. “Personally, the smell of dish soap has always been a turn-on.”
“And no one’s snatched you up yet?” she laughed. Damn him for being so charming. As he rinsed off the baking pan and found a place for it in the dishwasher, she ran some hot water to wash the carving knives.
“It’s a miracle, for sure.” His arm brushed slightly against hers as he grabbed the next pan. “If you don’t have any secrets to share, which I doubt, can I ask you a question?”
“I’m kind of chained to the sink right now while my hands are all soapy, so I don’t suppose I can stop you.
” Julie concentrated on the knives, though she wasn’t sure she should be holding something so sharp right now.
Having him stand right next to her like that was making her shake.
When she’d found out what he was, she’d wanted to forget that she’d slept with him. Her body, however, refused to do so.
“When you and I were out on the back deck, hanging that garland, you said you needed a distraction,” he began, turning up the hot water to cut through the grease on the pan.
The heat had risen under her sweater as well as she recalled that conversation. “I believe I was saying that your sexy Santa routine was a distraction,” she laughed.
“I’m determined to take that as a compliment, either way,” he replied smoothly. “I was just curious what you needed a distraction from.”
“Oh.” That, at least, was an easier conversation than discussing his status as a shifter or how she felt about him. “I think I was mostly talking about my daughter.”
“Molly.”
A jolt of surprise moved through her stomach.
Julie had tried not to dwell on her daughter in the limited time they’d been together.
She hadn’t wanted her own sadness to interfere with their good time in Provincetown.
Those Malone brothers had interfered enough on her behalf.
“Yeah. I knew that if I stayed home for the holidays, I would miss her too much.”
“It’s hard to be alone this time of year.” He frowned a little as he bent forward to scrub at a particularly stubborn spot. “When you feel like that, even being in a crowd can make you feel more lonely.”
That stab of surprise that’d been in her stomach a moment earlier now moved up to her heart.
Will hadn’t tried to make her feel better about it.
He hadn’t told her she had no reason to feel alone since she was surrounded by all the Brighams. He’d just understood and accepted her feelings.
It was enough to give Julie pause as she ran the sponge down the knife’s edge, feeling like she was dancing along the sharp side of a blade herself.
“Yeah, it can. Then you have to wonder if you’re doing all the wrong things just because you’re sad. ”
He tipped his head slightly to the side to acknowledge the possibility. “Or maybe fate gives you just what you need in the right moment.”
“You believe in fate?” she asked, the gentle sloshing of water playing a steady background to their conversation. “That everything is already decided and we have no choice?”
Will quickly shook his head. “Not like that, exactly. I think we have choices about most things, and we have to take responsibility for those choices. But I do think fate will put things in our way, giving us a new choice or perspective. We just have to decide if we’re going to take the risk and dive in or look the other way. ”
Julie chanced a brief, sideways glance at him. He wasn’t talking about life in general, she knew. “That seems plausible. Of course, actually making that decision is hard when it feels like a life-changing choice. There could be big consequences.”
“Or really big rewards,” he countered as he rinsed a pan and put it in the drying rack.
The kitchen door opened just then, and Erin walked in with a rather fussy Arden in her arms. “It’s all right, sweetheart. I’ve got one of your teething toys in here somewhere.” She glanced at Julie and Will and quickly turned to the freezer.
Julie’s throat tightened. No matter how much her battle over her feelings for Will felt like an inward one, the entire Brigham clan was acutely aware of it.
Their back-and-forth was happening all around them, and as they were trying to celebrate the holidays, to boot.
Drying off her hands, Julie rushed toward the struggling mom as she dug through the freezer.
“Can I hold him for you while you look?”
“Oh, yes. Thank you.” Erin gratefully handed her baby over and continued to look through the freezer. “I’ve had to get used to doing everything one-handed, especially when he’s got teeth poking through. Poor little guy doesn’t want to be put down, then.”
“My Molly was the same way.” Julie propped Arden on her hip and grabbed a clean dish rag.
She wet the corner of it in cold water, wrung it out, and pushed her finger inside it.
The next time Arden opened his mouth to wail, she peeked inside.
The offending tooth was easy to spot, and she pressed her cloth-wrapped finger gently onto it.
Arden took several hiccupping breaths. He looked at her with surprise, as though suddenly realizing this strange person wasn’t anyone he knew, but his little body began to relax in her arms. He leaned into her, his curious hand reaching for her necklace.
Julie closed her eyes and gently laid her cheek on his little head.
His hair was so soft, and he still had that delightful baby smell that made her gooey on the inside.
His tiny fingers gently played with the beads on her necklace.
If she closed her eyes, she could easily time travel about eighteen years in the past, when she’d swayed in her own kitchen with Molly in her arms.
“There it is! It slipped down behind some things with all the food coming in and out over the last few days.” Erin triumphantly pulled the teething toy from the freezer. She turned to Julie and melted a little when she saw how content her baby was. “I think he likes you.”
“Lucky me,” Julie replied genuinely. “He’s such a doll.”
“Thank you. Hey, Jace went out to the garage with Dylan to look at the smoker. Would you mind holding onto Arden while I run to the bathroom really quick?” Erin asked hopefully.
It took exactly zero seconds for Julie to decide. “Absolutely. Take your time.”
As Erin rushed off to take advantage of a few minutes alone, Will stepped up next to Julie. “You look really happy.”
“Like I said before, I’ve just really been missing my daughter.
There’s a lot I don’t miss about this stage of motherhood.
It’s exhausting, and I’m glad I got through it.
But it’s still fun to reminisce a little.
” She cuddled Arden closer but tensed as she realized something.
“He’s just like the rest of the family, isn’t he? ”
Will nodded. “His father is a bear and his mother a bobcat. He could be either one or maybe both, like Ruby. They don’t know yet. Sometimes it takes a while before little ones learn how to let their animals out,” he added when he saw the confused look on her face.
“Oh.” She looked down at Arden’s chubby cheeks. He’d stopped fussing completely and was just lying on her shoulder, so she put the dish rag aside and just held him. He was an innocent baby, but even he held a secret like the rest of the Brighams.
Julie kissed his forehead, knowing that was a heavy burden for such a small child, and he didn’t even know it yet.