44. Chapter Forty-Three
Chapter Forty-Three
Dominic
Although the conversation with Leo calmed the simmering rage that was previously bubbling up inside of me, I'm still seething as I make my way up to the apartment.
I need to hear her side of things. I need her to explain why she chose to betray me, and I want her to help me understand it.
The elevator stops, and the doors slide open, but I remain standing inside the metal box, staring down the hallway that leads into my silent apartment.
I'm hesitant to go in there, unsure of what I'll find.
Will Alicia even still be here?
The answer to my question comes in the form of soft footsteps hurrying towards the elevator, and a fluffy face peering up at me.
Crouching down, I wait for Jellybean to reach me, and I pick her up, stroking at her fur while her rough tongue swipes across my exposed neck.
I remain standing in the elevator with Jellybean for a few minutes before I step foot into the apartment. Breathing deeply, I make my way towards the living room, the dog following along beside me.
Rounding the corner, I'm surprised to see Alicia curled up on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket, with tear-stained cheeks and messy hair.
Her glassy eyes meet mine, and her bottom lip trembles as she lifts her knees to her chest, curling into a ball.
We stare at each other for a few moments, tension drawn tight between us.
She pulls the blanket tight around her body, the move making my stomach clench.
I want to go over to her, wrap my arms around her, comfort her, and reassure her, tell her that everything's okay, but I can't.
Crossing my arms over my chest and leaning against the doorframe to keep myself from moving towards her, I look away from her crumpled face, choosing to look out the window instead.
The sound of her sniffling reaches my ears, and although my heart aches from the sound, anger vibrates through my bones, and I grind my teeth.
"Crying won't make anything better," I mutter harshly, my narrowed gaze slashing back over to her.
Brows raised high, she shakes her head and scoffs.
"You don't need to be such an asshole."
"How else do you expect me to be, Alicia?"
She tucks her head to her chest, eyes dropping to her lap.
"I'm sorry," she whispers, shoulders shaking as more tears stream down her cheeks.
I wish I could feel sorry for her, but without hearing her side of things, I can't.
"Why?" I ask.
Glancing up at me, her brows draw down and her nose crinkles.
"Why did you do it?"
The lines along her face disappear as her features soften, and her shoulders drop as she shakes her head.
"I wish I didn't. If I had known—"
"I don't want to hear any excuses," I bark, uncrossing my arms and storming towards the sofa until I'm leaning over her. "I want to know why you betrayed me!"
Her eyes widen, and her chin wobbles as she stares up at me in surprise.
"I wanted to hurt you," she mumbles, cringing at her own words.
Placing my hands on the back of the sofa, I move back slightly, creating a small amount of space between us.
My fingers dig into the leather, and my muscles contract beneath the cotton T-shirt I have on as I wait for her to continue.
"I was convinced you hated me. We were both doing such a good job of avoiding each other, making it seem like we couldn't stand each other, and it angered me.
You handcuffed me to the bed, Dom. You chained me up, got yourself off, and then you left me there, half-naked, lying in your cum.
Do you not realise how that made me feel? "
Huffing, I push off the sofa and start pacing the room as my stomach churns from the reminder of what I did.
"I felt disgusting and used. It was degrading!
" she shouts, sitting upright. "You treated me as if I were a toy for you to use.
Like I was some sort of whore. I was pissed at you.
I cried myself to sleep, Dom. Then I woke up the next morning, still chained to the fucking bed, and you were nowhere to be seen. You just left me there!"
"I was going to check on you," I tell her, shrugging as if I'm unaffected by everything she's telling me.
She lets out a humourless laugh and shakes her head, standing from the sofa and moving around it until she's standing in front of me.
"I had to dislocate my own fucking thumb to get myself out of those cuffs. I was furious, and Lenny had been asking me to help him find something on you, so in that moment, I agreed to help. I thought you didn't care, Dom!"
She jabs her finger into my chest, and I snatch it in my hand.
"You betrayed me because you didn't think I cared about you?"
Using my hold on her finger, I pull her closer to me until her chest is flush with mine, our faces inches apart.
"All of this because you were overthinking and didn't have the balls to come and fucking ask me how I felt?" I reply angrily, my nose grazing against hers. "You were almost killed. My best friend may very well die, Alicia, and it was all because you were a coward!"
She raises her free hand, her palm connecting with my cheek in a powerful slap.
"How dare you!" Yanking her other hand from mine, she pushes both her hands against my chest, trying to move away from me, but I grip her hips, keeping her in place. "I may have been a coward, but so are you! If you want to blame me, then you need to realise you're to blame just as much as I am."
"How do you get to that conclusion?" I ask, cocking a brow.
"You were hiding your feelings for me, pretending to hate me, convincing me I meant nothing to you because you were scared of what would happen if you admitted to how you felt and made your feelings known.
You were a coward. You are the reason I was overthinking.
You are at fault for making me do what I did. "
She pushes at my chest again, but I band my arm around her waist, plastering her trembling body against mine. I grip the back of her neck with my free hand, bringing our faces closer together.
Our breaths mingle, chests rising and falling rapidly, eyes burning with fury.
"You are just as much to blame as I am," she whispers, her face falling as tears fill her eyes.
My chest aches with the realisation she's correct.
I am to blame.
As Leo said, I pushed her away. I purposely made her hate me, and that's what has led us here.
Even my initial reaction of blaming her instead of hearing her out was another attempt at subconsciously pushing her away one last time.
Her hands grip onto my T-shirt as her body slumps in my arms. A sob rips from her chest, even as she clamps her lips together, trying to hold the emotions at bay.
My own vision blurs as her words float around inside my mind, and I rest my forehead against hers as I exhale.
"I never hated you," I tell her softly, closing my eyes. "I was scared, and I thought this marriage was going to be a disaster, so I played along, made it worse than it should've been… I was a coward."
She sniffles, and her hold on my T-shirt loosens as her body relaxes further into mine.
"I made you question how I felt about you. I put doubt in your mind. Everything I did has led us to this moment," I admit as a tear trickles down my cheek. "It's my fault all of this is happening, and it's all because I was stupid, and I tried to stop myself from falling in love with you."
Her arms wrap around my body, and her forehead slips from mine, causing me to open my eyes and see her staring up at me, green eyes shining beneath thick lashes clumped together from tears.
"We've both done some extremely destructive things in this relationship, trying to break it apart, and find a way to destroy it. But I'm not sure I want to anymore."
Rising onto her toes, her lips brush against mine, her eyes fluttering shut.
"I'm sorry, Dom."
"Me too, little viper."
Our lips meet, and my heart instantly slows inside my chest as my body relaxes while hers melts into mine.
The taste of her salty tears enters my mouth as I swipe my tongue over her lips. I use my thumbs to brush the remaining tears away as she opens up for me, allowing me to deepen the kiss.
Her arms wrap around the back of my neck, and her left leg loops around my hip, dragging me against her.
Her hands travel down my back, lighting a path of fire across my skin.
Brushing my hands down the length of her arms, I feel the goosebumps spread across her skin, and I smirk against her lips.
"So responsive," I growl, dipping my head to the slope of her neck, placing kisses along her skin. "If I'd done this from the start, I would've known you never hated me."
Her hands slip beneath my top, nails scraping along the corded muscles as they travel up my back, lifting the top along with them.
"If you tried this from the start, I would've punched you in the face," she tells me, tugging the top up to my armpits, cocking a brow at me when I reluctantly pull my mouth away from her.
Whipping the top over my head, I latch back onto her instantly, suctioning my mouth just above her collarbone, nibbling and sucking on her neck while my hands roam over her body, groping every inch of her.
"Dom," she moans, hands gripping onto my shoulders as mine grab the back of her thighs. "We still need to talk."
Lifting her into my arms, I come up for air, swiping my nose against the reddened, sensitive skin as her legs wrap around my waist.
"No. I'm done talking." Hoisting her up higher, I walk towards the stairs, one hand wrapped in her hair, the other gripping her arse, pushing her body close to mine. "We've both made mistakes. We've both apologised. Everything's sorted."
As her core presses against my throbbing dick, she curses, nails digging into my back.
"It's not that simple, Dom."
"Yes, it is," I bite out, crashing my lips onto hers to stop her from talking as I round the top of the stairs and charge down the corridor towards my room.