Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
“Kathy said you wished to speak to me, Aunty Deborah?”
Deborah did not turn away from the half-filled luggage. She couldn’t. One look at the little girl she’d grown to love would surely have her tears falling and her momentum stopping. She had to keep moving.
“Yes,” Deborah answered, placing more belongings in her luggage. She cleared her throat, trying to swallow the thick lump in her throat that made her voice sound as raw and in pain as she felt.
“Oh, are we going on another trip?” Adeline asked, coming closer.
Deborah’s heart cracked. The girl sounded so carefree, so ready to go along with whatever Deborah was about to tell her.
“Just me,” Deborah forced out, willing her burning, unblinking eyes not to leave her open luggage, “I am afraid I have to leave, Adeline.”
“Oh, that is no fun,” Adeline pouted from behind her. “You will not be gone long, though, will you? We have made so many plans. Besides, you cannot leave Uncle on his own. He is so poorly on his own. I swear he depends on your presence to breathe.”
Guilt lashed at Deborah’s heart as she heard Adeline’s hopeful, jesting tone, and the tears she had been trying to keep at bay began to pour hot and salty down her cheeks.
“Adeline, darling,” she sobbed, “I am so-”
Deborah cupped her hand over her mouth, trying to stifle the heart-wrenching cry attempting to leave her throat, and finally turned. Adeline’s gaze was hard and accusing as she met her eyes, as if the little girl suddenly knew everything she was about to say.
“Do not dare,” Adeline’s voice shook as she shook her head, “Do not dare tell me you are leaving us!”
Deborah’s sob broke free as she bowed her head.
“I have to,” she croaked out. “I have to find a way to bring my sister back to me. It has been too long!”
“Then tell Uncle, and he will help you!” Adeline insisted, her own heartache clear in her voice, “Tell me and I will help you! What can we do? Where do we need to look?”
Horror seeped into Deborah’s bones as she thought of young and innocent Adeline having anything to do with what it would take to avenge Hester and get her back, and she quickly fell to her knees before Adeline and gripped her upper arms.
“No, child, you cannot help with this. I forbid it and so will your uncle,” Deborah commanded.
“But your sister! You need to find her! If you were missing, I would go to find you, and nothing would stop me!” Adeline all but yelled.
Deborah’s heart broke at the news, but she pushed the pain aside.
“Precisely,” Deborah hurriedly replied, “You would do anything, and so will I. Even if that means going on my own. That is what it will take!”
Hurt, anger, worry, and fear all clashed together in Adeline’s accusing eyes, and even as she glared at Deborah, her chin wobbled as tears trickled down her cheeks. For a moment, heartbreaking silence passed between them, and for the slightest of seconds, Deborah started to reconsider her plan.
“You will come back,” Adeline croaked, pushing her face closer to Deborah’s. “You will visit once a day, at least, until you find your sister. Then you will come back to us forever after you have.”
Deborah’s shoulders sagged under the weight of Adeline’s commands. There was that word again. After. Could there truly be an after? A happy ending for not just herself, but for Hester?
“I promise,” Deborah replied, not sure what else she could say to the little girl.
Another bout of heavy silence hung in the air before he flung herself against Deborah and hugged her tightly. Deborah’s strength wavered as she felt the tight grip of Adeline’s arms around her neck, and more tears escaped down her cheeks as she held the little girl close as they both cried.
After a while, Deborah opened her eyes, and her heartache grew worse as she found Cedric standing in the open doorway, watching them with a grave look etched into his handsome face. Carefully, Deborah untangled herself from Adeline’s arms, sniffling as she rose to stand.
“All will be well,” she said, her voice breaking.
“It better be,” Adeline grumbled.
Deborah attempted to smile at the little girl, but the expression fell flat.
“Deborah,” Cedric’s voice was so husky that he had to clear his throat before he could continue, “Will you at least take one of our carriages to your mother’s?”
Deborah nearly crumbled all over again. She had been so harsh to him earlier, and yet here he was, trying to offer safety as she left him. She shook her head, unable to meet his eyes.
“I am not going to my mother’s,” she managed to say. With everything else going on, I could not stand to hear her say I told you so.
“Then where are you going?” Adeline asked as Deborah closed her luggage and picked it up.
“There is a boarding house for young ladies on the outskirts of town,” Deborah managed to explain as she took slow steps toward the door, “I shall be fine there.”
As she reached the door, Cedric’s arm came up, and his hand landed on her stomach. Deborah froze as she closed her eyes, hating how quickly her body responded to his touch even at such an awful time.
“You do not have to do this,” Cedric rasped, “Please, Deborah.”
Knowing that if she stayed a second longer, she might actually believe him and change her mind, Deborah pushed forward, feeling his lingering hand slip from her stomach, then to her waist, before it dropped away.
“Remember your promise!” Adeline called from behind her, then another piece of Deborah’s heart broke away as she heard the little girl sob before adding, “We love you!”
Deborah moved faster, her body beginning to tremble from the pain of the moment, and as she made it to the stairs, she heard Adeline’s fading sobs grow harder.
She dared a look back and let out a strangled cry as she saw Cedric on his knees before Adeline, holding her tight as the little girl sobbed into his shoulder.
“Well, don’t you look a fright,” Mrs. Kilborn, the boarding matron, said accusingly.
Deborah kept her head down as she ignored the slight. She had heard of the boarding house from the other barmaids at the auction, and already knew that the matron did not have a sympathetic bone in her body.
“I have the proper funds for a room,” Deborah merely replied, “and I have been made aware of your rules by some of your other occupants. I can not only pay for my time here, but I can assure you that your rules will be honored.”
Mrs. Kilborn’s fingers were sharp and birdlike as they wrapped around Deborah’s chin and forced her to look up. The matron’s eyes were beady and accusing as she studied her.
“You messed about with the wrong man, is that it? Thought you could change him and discovered how impossible that is, eh?” Mrs. Kilborn asked.
“Something like that,” Deborah rasped, her throat raw from all the sobbing she’d done on her long walk over.
“I will not stand for any of that sort of business in this house, you hear? I run a clean, good establishment for good girls,” Mrs. Kilborn replied sharply.
“I understand,” Deborah answered quickly.
“You will not have any trouble from me, Mrs. Kilborn, I assure you. Any chores you give me I will complete with haste. Any rules you give, I will respect. But please, if you have a room to spare, give it to me. I am most weary from the day and need to rest.”
Mrs. Kilborn’s beady stare did not flinch for a long moment, even after Deborah’s gaze dropped to the floor. Finally, though, the matron released Deborah’s jaw and held out her hand. Deborah deposited the small sack of coins into her palm, and with a huff, Mrs. Kilborn stepped away.
“Follow me then,” Mrs. Kilborn stiffly replied. “We have an empty room upstairs. Not to say that it is a private suite, mind you, we got none of those here. Another girl comes in needing a bed she’ll be given the one in your room and there will be nothing you can do about it.”
Deborah merely nodded as she followed Mrs. Kilborn toward the stairs.
“You say you know the rules, but I am going to give them to you anyway…”
Deborah barely heard Mrs. Kilborn as she explained meal times, curfews, chore distribution, and the strict no-man policy the matron had for the house.
She merely murmured her understanding as she was led to a simple but clean room with two small beds.
There was not much in the way of furnishings other than that.
A wash stand, a bureau, and a small table with a single lamp on it.
It was vastly different from her rooms at the Calder Houses, and the startling contrast of such sent another blast of pain hard into Deborah’s chest. She told herself it did not matter. That she did not need luxury to work on her plan, she just needed space and freedom to figure it out.
“Not what you are used to, is it?” Mrs. Kilborn chuffed behind her. “Those fancy clothes of yours, I wager you come from somewhere you are pampered. Well, let me tell you, girl, you won’t be havin’ any of that in this house.”
Her sorrow growing into irritation, Deborah turned to Mrs. Kilborn with narrowed eyes and raised chin.
“I am not asking for anything more than what you give your other girls,” she tersely replied, “I will adhere to your rules and not bring shame to your house. Now, if you please, I need a moment to get settled. If you give me that, I will be down shortly, and I will take on any chores you assign me.”
Mrs. Kilborn looked as if she had a reprimand ready to hurl off her tongue, but then the woman’s composure relaxed, and she gave a single nod.
“Hurry up then,” she replied brusquely.
Deborah waited until the matron had closed the door behind her, then went to her luggage for her notebook.
Taking a seat on the small, hard bed, she read through the dated notes she kept on Sylvester.
A half hour later, she let out a sigh of frustration, thinking that she had found nothing yet again.
She was ready to tuck the notebook back into her belongings when an alarm went off in her mind.
Pulling the notebook back out, she flipped through the pages. This time, not looking at the notes, but the dates on which she wrote them.
“There is a pattern,” she murmured aloud, excitement tunneling through her sorrow. “Sylvester has a pattern!”