Chapter 30 #2
“Of course I will,” Deborah promised, “And perhaps Grace could even come stay with us a while in Calder. In truth, my relationship with Mother and Uncle Archibald, despite living with them, has also been strained. I never could quite forgive them for giving up on you so quickly.”
She looked down, fear and anger threatening to close around her heart again.
“It was…it was if you had died. They did not try to help you. Try to make things right. They just cowered away from the scandal. I think…I know it sounds awful, dreadfully awful, but I think I even hated them for a time. Until I realized just how weak they were.”
Hester’s hand covered Deborah’s, and she looked up to see her older sister’s eyes full of compassion.
“I was weak too, you know,” Hester said softly. “I was ready to end it all, but it was you- your strength- that saved me from myself that day with those scissors. It was your voice in my head when I was out there alone trying to survive.”
Deborah drew in a shaky breath, speechless.
“You were always the strongest one of us, little sister,” Hester whispered emphatically as she squeezed Deborah’s hand, “Please remember that.”
Deborah’s bottom lip quivered as the grudge she’d held over her Mother and Uncle Archibald began to slip.
“I should try to forgive them,” she rasped.
“Perhaps that is something we can work on together then,” Hester offered, and thought it was slow to form, Deborah smiled.
“Together,” she agreed. “Absolutely.”
They talked a little more, filling in the little crevices of time they’d first glazed over with the larger chunks of history.
There were good times, Deborah was relieved to learn, for Hester.
Brief friendships and pockets of time where no one knew who she was, and life was simple.
There were harder times, too, though they seemed to last much longer.
Through it all, though, Deborah despised one thing: that Hester had had to face it all alone.
Strong or not, Deborah had not been able to prevent that.
Finally, when the clock struck two, they both agreed that it was time to get some rest. Together they walked upstairs, and Deborah was both relieved and pleased that Cedric had put Hester in the room beside her own, sandwiching Deborah between her sister’s quarters and her husband’s.
“Sleep long and well, sister,” Deborah said, hugging Hester tightly again.
“You as well, sister,” Hester replied warmly, squeezing her tight.
“Do you require a maid?” Deborah asked, “Or could I help you get ready for bed?”
Hester let out a light laugh.
“I have grown quite accustomed to tending to myself; I shall be fine,” Hester assured her, pulling back. “However, I will keep borrowing your lovely dresses and nightgowns for a while, if that is alright. Until I am ready to visit a modiste.”
“Of course,” Deborah readily agreed, then blushed, thankful that she had decided to put the particularly revealing nightgown she had bought for Cedric in a separate place.
There was still much she and Hester had to discuss- but she was not sure if they needed to discuss that particular subject just yet or even at all.
Once they let go, Hester wiggled her fingers in farewell and went into her room.
For a moment, Deborah just stood there, debating whether or not to follow.
She had just gotten her sister back, and the fear of losing her again so soon was still great.
Yet if Hester had wanted her to come in, she would have asked.
Just as Deborah had been through a tumultuous few days, so had Hester, and she wagered there was nothing wrong with her sister taking the night to herself.
Still, just because Hester was willing to spend the night alone, that did not mean Deborah was. So instead of going to her door, she went to Cedric’s. Her nerves frayed as she raised her knuckles to the door, only thinking at the last moment that she might be disturbing his sleep.
The thought dissolved quickly, however, as the door immediately swung open, giving her a delicious view of her husband, naked from waist up. She blushed, heat spiking in her veins as she greedily eyed him up. There was no denying it. Her heart had missed him, yes- but so had her body.
“Deborah,” Cedric said, his relief evident in his voice as he opened his door wider, “I am so glad you knocked.”
Deborah forced her eyes from the muscled V of his hips and back to his eyes, telling herself to breathe.
“I hope I did not wake you,” she said softly, obeying the beckoning motion he gave her to step inside.
“Not at all,” he answered quickly, quietly shutting the door behind them, “I am far too restless to sleep. Plus, I wanted to stay up in case you needed me. Do you? Need me?”
Yes.
The thought was instant as they stood facing one another.
“You must be completely overwhelmed over seeing and speaking to Hester again,” Cedric said, but she barely heard him. Her focus was centered on his lips. How they formed his words. How his deep voice sent tingles of need shooting through her fingertips and up her arms.
“Would you like to sit?” Cedric offered, waving a hand toward the settee they once kissed on. “I could pour you a drink? We could talk. About Hester. About us. Whatever you would like.”
Cedric turned, as if he was going to go to the drink cart, but Deborah caught his hand as she shook her head. He turned back to her, glanced at her around him, and then up to his eyes, his dark gaze glittering with willingness to do whatever she wished.
“We should talk,” she agreed, licking her lips as she took a step closer, “And we will. About everything.”
She reached out with her other hand and tentatively traced her fingertips between the valley of his pectoral muscles, reveling in the way those warm, hard ridges twitched and trembled beneath her touch.
“For now, though,” she whispered, their lips growing closer together, “I want you to kiss me, and I do not want you to stop until we both faint from pleasure.”