Chapter 20 #5
He’s filling me completely, driving into me mercilessly as his hand coils itself around my hair, forcing my head down then pulling me up, then down again.
Sometimes he lets me catch a breath, other times I’m deprived of oxygen until I feel myself growing dizzy.
And throughout it all, he takes me from behind, sliding in and out of me, each thrust sending sparks of pain through me.
It’s strange, feeling such a loss of control. He’s never made me feel so helpless, so dependent on him before. And so trusting. Because the danger is real. But the conviction he’ll never let anything happen to me is absolute.
And that turns me on.
He continues to fuck me from behind and to control my breathing by dunking me in the water, as his other hand finds my clit. His thumb rubs it as he pushes three fingers into my pussy. That’s all I need to come in a thundering orgasm.
And he holds my breath under the water during it.
My body thrashes helplessly, the orgasm deepened to an intense high by the lack of breath and of control. When Damien at last pulls me back, I’m a mess. But he’s not finished with me.
Abruptly withdrawing his cock from my ass, he flips me over on my back and buries himself instead in my overstimulated pussy.
Then he pushes me back in the water, his hand pinching my nose.
He kisses me deeply while thrusting into me harder than ever, until I’m nearly suffocating with the need for air.
Then I feel him shudder over me, and strings of cum fill me.
He prolongs the kiss through his orgasm until I wonder if I’ll actually suffocate, before he at last frees me.
Then he lifts my upper body out of the water, withdrawing himself from me at the same time.
Pulling me to him, he continues to kiss me, and his kisses feel better than ever. I sink into the safety of his arms, and he strokes my back in the soothing way he always does after we have sex.
“I want you to hold me forever,” I moan into his ear, and he hugs me even tighter.
“My darling,” he croaks. “My sweet, sweet darling.”
We stay wrapped in each other for what feels like hours. The water is freezing cold by the time he lifts me from the tub, wrapping me in a soft, plush towel, before letting me fall in the bed.
He continues to stroke me until I’m half asleep, even though it’s not nighttime yet. But after that intense session, I feel depleted of energy.
Suddenly, though, I realize his gesture has become somewhat mechanical. Something about it makes me nervous, but I try to repress the feeling.
He feels me grow tense beside me though, and he kisses my cheek.
“My darling,” he says. “I hate to leave you.”
I look up at him, my heart thundering in my ears. “What do you mean?”
He smiles sadly, his fingers threading their way through my hair. “The security is all set up now. There are ten guards around the perimeter. The cameras are all working. You’re safe here, and I can’t put it off any longer.”
“Put off what?” Tears, stupid tears, well up in my eyes. I stare at him in pained confusion. “Why are you leaving? Are you angry at me? Did I do something?”
“Shhh.” He stops my words with a finger to my lips. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Of course, it’s nothing you’ve done. I have to deal with that bullshit situation.”
“What bullshit situation?” I ask, confusion slowly giving way to a sinking sort of understanding.
“It’s a good thing I don’t rely on you for intel,” he says teasingly. “You’re not very good at putting two and two together, are you?”
For once, I don’t take the bait. There is no anger, only fear, cold fear, in my chest.
“Does this… does this have to do with Lucy?”
He kisses the tip of my nose, but doesn’t answer.
“What are you going to do to her?”
“It’s what I’ve already done to her,” he smirks, and I recognize in his eyes the old Damien, the bloodthirsty one. The one who’s still right there, under the surface. He hasn’t actually changed, I guess. And neither have I.
Except that now, I’ve given in to my love for him, and I would take any amount of teasing if it meant keeping him by my side.
“What did you already do to her?” I breathe, not because I truly care but because I have the terrifying feeling this is only the beginning of something I’d hoped had already ended.
He kisses each of my breasts fondly, then lays his head over them and sighs, as if we have all the time in the world. “I gave her a little taste of her own medicine.”
I sit up straight, and he snorts in amused annoyance as his head tumbles off me.
“You can’t mean…” I stammer, “... you can’t mean… Did you bury her alive? Like they did to me?”
His kiss serves as confirmation.
I guess I do care. The thought that anyone else could be suffering, right now, what I suffered at Angel’s hands, is more than I can bear.
Even if the victim is partly responsible for what happened to me, it’s too much.
Stab her, shoot her, throw her off a plane…
that I can handle. But bury her alive? It’s the worst way to go.
“Oh, Damien, please,” I gasp. “Please stop it before it’s too late. We don’t even know… please. We don’t know if it really was her.”
“We know enough. What do you think I’ve been doing this past month?”
“Uh…” I bite down on my answer. Having sex? That’s what I’ve been doing. What the hell has he been doing?
Planning Lucy’s death, I guess. Well, fuck.
He sits up as well and drags me to him, hugging me possessively. “Did you forget who you married, pet? I’m not a fucking lapdog. I’m a killer.”
I can’t answer. Emotion overwhelms me. I’m torn between being glad she’ll meet her end, not to avenge myself but to protect Damien, and wanting to prevent her death. At least, she shouldn’t die like this.
And it’s not just that. I never thought for a second about what my father and the FBI agent felt when I plunged a knife into them. But now, I’m thinking about Lucy. Somehow, I’m thinking about Lucy.
Maybe it’s because she resembles me in more ways than I’d like to admit. A quiet, invisible woman with a secret.
Damien tilts my head back and gazes at me, reading my thoughts as usual. “Her fate is not sealed, my darling,” he murmurs. “Noel can still save her.”
I swallow, my throat chalky.
“Do you think he will?” he asks, tracing circles on my back. Only now, they’re not all that soothing.
“Does… does he know where she is?” I breathe.
“Yes. And I’m pretty sure that by now, he knows where we are, too. Or at least, he has a vague idea.”
I inhale sharply, staring at Damien in utter disbelief.
“We gave him her location. And we also gave him a location not too far from here. Well, we didn’t give it to him. But we allowed him to find it.”
“Why?” I blurt out, blood thundering in my ears. Why the hell would he allow Noel to find out anything? He’s been leaving us alone for a month now. He’d lost our trace, and Damien just went ahead and led him right here!
I stare at him, for the first time actually questioning his sanity.
But he merely grins, albeit a bit sadly.
“He’s been on the hunt for the past month.
He was bound to find us. He was already getting a bit close for comfort.
No matter how I feel about being on the run…
” he clenches his fists and I realize for the first time just how hard it must have been for him to go into hiding, “I would have been happy to run forever if it meant running with you. But you can’t survive long when you’re prey.
At some point, if you want to survive, you’ve got to turn predator. ”
My hands feel clammy. “So, now what?”
“Now, he’s going to have to make a choice. Kill you, or save Lucy. What do you think he’ll do?”
I rub my temples in confusion. “I guess… he’s going to come here.”
“Not here, exactly. The location we fed him is about thirty miles away. You’re in no danger, my darling.”
“But… but why?”
He kisses my cheek. “Why do you think?”
I gaze up at him, my eyes wide with horror. “Are you going to go find him?”
He doesn’t speak, but I read the answer in the grim lines of his face. “Damien! He’ll kill you!”
I throw myself against his chest, burying my face in his warmth. He holds me to him, shushing me quietly.
“So you do care for me, after all,” he smiles, his fingers finding my hair again. “Sometimes, I wonder.”
“What the fuck!” I cry out, not even caring that I’m swearing right now, even though the last time I did that, he did in fact carry out his threat and wash my mouth with soap.
Which turned us both on, and the sex afterward was some of the best we’ve had.
But right now, I’m not turned on at all, and he doesn’t seem to be either.
He merely looks at me quietly as I yell, “Of course I fucking care! How could you fucking do it?! How could you leave me all alone in the world?! I’m so in love with you, Damien. How could you leave me to get ki—”
He interrupts me with such a passionate kiss that I emerge from it utterly breathless.
“Say it again,” he demands.
“Say what?”
“That you’re in love with me.”
I look up at him, startled. “I… I’m in love with you. I’ve told you so, haven’t I?”
He holds me to him. “You absolutely have not, you silly girl. Keep saying it. Go on.”
“I… love you,” I hesitate.
“Again.”
He crushes me to him, listening to the words I repeat over and over in his ear, his hand wrapping itself in the coils of my hair, holding me still.
At last he frees me and I inch back so I can look up at him. “But you knew. You must have known.”
“I knew a lot of things,” he says, lying back on the mattress and stroking my back. “I knew you weren’t thrilled to be marrying me…”
“Which didn’t stop you,” I cut in.
He clasps a hand over my mouth teasingly and pulls me to his chest. “It would take a lot more than a little thing like you to keep me from doing anything,” he rumbles.
In the past, I would have taken offense to such words. But now, my whole body thrills at his ownership of me.
“And you certainly spend a lot of time resisting me for someone who’s in love with me,” he continues, freeing my mouth to sink his fingers once more in my hair.
“Oh, that…” I look away, bashful. “I don’t really mean to, but…”
“But?”
“Well…” My face grows redder than ever and my voice drops to a whisper. “Well, I guess I kind of like it. What you do to me when I resist you.”
I keep my eyes resolutely turned away from him, knowing he’s probably got the world’s biggest smirk on his face.
“And do you…” I swallow. “Do you love me?”
I can’t help the crack in my voice as the doubt I can never quite keep entirely buried creeps back in.
He barks out a laugh, but I manage to resist my first instinct. Ever since I bruised his chest, I’ve done my best to not give in to my anger. I don’t always succeed but I’ve gotten a lot better at it. Now, he sees my inner struggle and rewards me with a deep kiss.
Then he laughs again softly, but I can tell it’s not directed at me.
“Look at us, a couple of middle school romantics,” he chortles, before adding forcefully, “You mean the world to me, Seraphina, and if I have to dangle you over the balcony every day for the rest of your life for that fact to enter your thick skull, that’s just what I’ll do.”
I swallow again as the heat that never seems very far away creeps right back into my core, making me clench my thighs together.
“Should we go do that right now?” he snickers, noticing my squirming.
“Maybe…” I hesitate. “Maybe I’d prefer another form of punishment.”
He chuckles. “Really? And what are you thinking of?”
I blush. “Uhm… I like it when… well, when you flog me… or… well, when you hit me… with your hand…”
I interrupt myself as I see he’s shaking with quiet mirth, and my face flames bright red.
He traps my lip between his teeth as his arms clasp me roughly. Then he breathes into my mouth, “I can see we’re not going to have a very dull life, you and I.”
He crushes me to him for a long time, hungrily seeking out my mouth, his tongue hooking around mine.
“Now,” he murmurs, pulling away from me, “put this on.” He grabs a sheer, lacy white nightgown from a nearby chair. “I’m going to feed and spank you, and then I’m off to kill a man.”