Chapter Five
The men piled into church and waited for Saint and Sinn to arrive.
Jade drummed his fingers on the table, with his thoughts centered on Shiloh.
He wasn’t sure if he liked that she had taken up residence in his head, and he definitely didn’t like that she was distracting his thoughts from the upcoming run he had to do.
Although he couldn’t deny there was something about her that set her apart from other women.
Maybe it was because she didn’t act like she’d shuck her panties in order to bag a biker.
Lots of nice girls wanted to take a walk on the wilder side by fucking a one percenter, but Shiloh kept her distance.
Not just physically, but mentally as well.
About the closest she allowed was holding onto him while he drove them to and from work.
Why? A river of shadow and pain lingered in the secretive pools of her midnight eyes.
The way they shifted to take in everything around her, how she kept her back to the walls, all pointed to abuse.
Hell, even the man she wanted to castrate in the alley bared witness to the hate-filled rage bottled up inside her.
He’d seen that same pain on Kira, and he hated the speculation it brought.
Apollo strode in, his keen eyes sweeping quickly through the room. Of all the brothers, he was the one who would’ve made a good detective. His eagle-eyed gaze missed nothing.
“Good to see you back, Apollo,” Snow greeted. He held out his hand, and they did one of those handshake-pound-the-back hugs.
“Thanks,” he said.
Saint walked into the room, followed by Sinn, who closed the door behind him. When the VP was seated, Saint banged the gavel and started church.
“Let’s get started.” He glanced around the table.
“A couple of weeks ago, Lucifer contacted me about the death of four people who overdosed in Laramie from a substance with the street name Red Dust. He wanted to know if we’ve had anything similar here.
I had Apollo investigate, and he unearthed ten deaths here in Cheyenne alone.
With those numbers, I sent him to neighboring towns to see if this is widespread. Apollo, can you debrief us?”
“I went north on our trade route, all the way up to Casper, and didn’t find any deaths linked to Red Dust.” He shook his head. “Since Cheyenne has been the largest contributor of the overdosing, followed by Laramie, I believe we’re ground zero.”
“Do we know what psychoactive substances are in Red Dust?” Nero asked. “Do we have a sample I can analyze?”
“I got a sample,” War said as he reached into the inner pocket of his cut and pulled out a baggie. The contents were, indeed, bright scarlet. He tossed the bag across the table to Nero. “Bought it on College Drive from a pusher who seemed to know a lot about it.”
“Then it’s only a matter of time before this blows up with more scrutiny,” Saint stated grimly. “We need to shut this shit down right away.”
Nero held up the bag to the light, studying it. “I’ll start right away.”
Saint nodded. “In the meantime, we have a meeting with Lucifer tonight to discuss our strategy about this. Jade will lead us. Apollo and War will accompany Sinn and me.”
“No traitors this time,” Apollo quipped.
Saint glared at him. “Did you really just say that?”
“Too soon?” Apollo shrugged, not looking the least bit ashamed.
“You know,” Sinn commented blandly. “Pushing buttons is a way for you to gain power or superiority over others by triggering emotional reactions. That’s usually driven by insecurity or low empathy.”
“Oh, yeah,” War said loudly. “That’s Apollo. Nailed it, Sinn.”
“Thank you.” Sinn grinned and looked at his brother. “See? Someone appreciates me.”
Apollo flipped War off.
Saint let out a frustrated sigh, reached for his pack of cigarettes, and stuck an unlit one in his mouth. “I swear, you guys are gonna drive me insane.”
****
Shiloh waited for him at the end of her driveway. The sound of his bike reverberated through the neighborhood, and a little quiver of anticipation fluttered in her belly. She barely knew him, and already he fascinated her, which made him the most dangerous man in her world.
His bike rolled to a stop next to her, and he shut off the engine, then pulled off his helmet. “Hello.”
She smiled. “Hello.”
“Listen, I want you to know that I have a run tonight,” he said, “so I won’t be able to bring you home. But Jake drives a car, and I trust him. Would you be okay for him to drive you back?”
Her first instinct was to say no. Jake seemed like a nice guy, but she didn’t know him.
She didn’t trust people she didn’t know.
Then she remembered that she didn’t know Jade, either, and for some unknown reason, she hadn’t batted an eyelash jumping behind him on a bike.
What did that mean? It left her very confused.
“You trust him?” she asked.
Jade nodded. “I’ve known him for years.”
“He’s never hurt a woman?”
“Not that I’ve ever known,” he said slowly, studying her with an intensity that unnerved her. Like he could read the secrets she tried to bury and ignore. “It’s pretty damn hard hiding something like that from the Sons.”
“I don’t know,” she said, confused. “Maybe my roommate can pick me up.”
“Okay,” he said easily. “We can figure it out if she can’t.”
Shiloh nodded, and then mounted behind him. For the entire trip to The Inkpot, dread slowly clouded her thoughts. The thought about riding home with Jake spiked her fear, and she noticed that lately, instead of getting better, it seemed like each day made her more and more afraid of the world.
Maybe that’s what happened with trauma. It evolved instead of disappearing.
The events flashing through her head were a snowball rolling downhill, growing larger and larger with each rotation.
What happened when it hit the bottom? Or did she become Sisyphus, forever trying to return the boulder of ice and pain up a never-ending hill?
She didn’t know what to do, where to turn, or how to get through the quicksand slowly pulling her under. Ignoring what happened didn’t seem to be working, but she honestly had no idea where to turn next.
Through the afternoon, she responded to people and smiled when necessary, but it was all an act.
A fragile shard of glass ready to break apart at the slightest pressure.
When it was time for Jade to leave, it hit at the precise weak point, shattering the fragile grasp on her emotions.
Jade reached out for her and led her outside, saving herself the embarrassment of breaking down in front of the others.
He lifted her chin with a finger. “Breathe with me, Shiloh.”
She placed her hand on her chest, feeling her heart pound as a cold sweat broke across her skin. “I ... I c—can’t...”
“Look at me,” he ordered, and she raised her head to lock gazes with him. “You can. You’re stronger than the fear.”
“No, I’m not,” she cried, tears welled up in her eyes.
“Yes, you are,” he countered soothingly. “If you weren’t strong, you’d never have followed that asshole into the alley hoping to save a woman you didn’t even know.”
She kept shaking her head. “You don’t know the real me. I’m broken.”
“No, you aren’t,” he said, pushing some hair behind her ear before cupping her head. “I’ve seen broken, Shiloh, and you are not that. You’re battling demons I can’t see, but maybe one day you’ll trust me enough to let me fight them with you.”
It was hard to believe him. Trust was a razor’s edge she balanced precariously upon.
“Call your friend,” he said. “See if she can pick you up.”
With shaky hands, she took her phone from her back pocket and unlocked it to call Vette, who answered quickly.
“Shi? Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” she replied. “Can you pick me up tonight?”
“Of course. What time?”
“Um, midnight?”
“No problem.”
Relief surged through her. “Great. Thank you.”
“I’ll see you later.”
“Okay.”
When she ended the call, she looked up at Jade. “She said yes.”
“If you need me for anything, text. Okay? I’m doing club business, but I’ll answer as quick as I can.”
“Yes, okay,” she replied.
He kissed her forehead, then left her staring after him as he throttled away.
The nights were always busier than the day. Several men stopped by, attempting to flirt with her, but Jake was always there to make sure they knew she was off limits. The rough men coming in soon got the message and treated her with respect.
When the night was over and they closed shop, Vette waited for her.
She waved at Jake and got in her friend’s car.
Vette chatted all the way home, but Shiloh only listened.
Once home, she took a hot shower and got into bed, but sleep was elusive as Jade’s words kept replaying through her mind. He had used the word demons.
There was just one.
Just him.
The monster lurking in the back of her mind, waiting for her to fall completely apart.