Chapter 11 #3
Beatrice smiled at her sister, whose hand had inadvertently rested on her lower abdomen.
Beatrice had the feeling that soon Silas and Anna would have another announcement to make.
Perhaps Anna did not yet know herself, but Beatrice recognized some of the signs in her brother’s wife.
She was radiant, a little fuller, and perhaps more flustered just as she had been before.
“Maybe,” Anna deferred, removing her hand and looking around the music room. Clearly she did not want to deny or confirm anything. “But it will be a long time before my son is able to protect his siblings, and all of my other children will not be so endowed.”
She was right. Silas had negotiated the title for his firstborn son but not for any other offspring.
They'd still be Klanes, and they'd carry all of the negative connotations that come with the name, Beatrice realized suddenly. That was why Silas always spoke of the importance of Beatrice’s marriage.
As Beatrice sat with the body of the small, future marquess pressed close to her, she suddenly saw things more clearly.
Silas was not only trying to protect her from being tainted by his name.
He was hoping that her influence, by becoming a viscountess, would protect all of his children.
“They will be safe,” Beatrice swallowed hard and squeezed little Caleb close. “I shall ensure it.”
“By accepting a proposal from the viscount?” Anna pressed, looking at Beatrice intensely.
“I suppose,” Beatrice said. “If he should even ask me.”
She looked down at the piano keys, wishing Anna would not question her so hard.
She didn’t want to reveal how little interest she had in marrying the viscount, especially after Giovanni had revealed his passion for her.
She felt as if she was being torn in two, as if her duty to her family was pulling her in one direction, and her passion for Giovanni in another.
“You know,” Anna said slowly, placing a hand on the piano top.
Beatrice steeled herself. She expected Anna to tell her that it was essential for her to accept the viscount’s proposal or perhaps that he had even written to start negotiations with Silas.
Beatrice didn’t know if she could stand to hear it.
If she was forced to give an answer now…
could she? Could she really deny everything she felt for Giovanni? Could she say no to her family?
“Your brother and I—above all else—we seek your happiness and well-being, Beatrice,” Anna said, her green eyes holding Beatrice’s. “If you should find that the viscount is… unsuitable, I am sure another suitor could be found. All you would have to do is tell me.”
Beatrice looked away from Anna’s piercing gaze.
Part of her was desperate to tell Anna the truth; keeping such a secret from her felt obscene.
So far, she had shared every moment of her entrance in society with her sister-in-law, every dance and every conversation.
Yet, here she sat, no longer the innocent child she had been six months ago.
Now she carried the marks of Giovanni’s kisses, burned as they were into her skin and memory.
How relieving it would feel to reveal the truth to Anna!
I have feelings for Giovanni. I always have done and now I feel as if they are growing into something more. Oh, Anna! How can you tell if you are falling in love?
Beatrice couldn’t say it. It would do no good.
Anna would be forced to go to Silas, and Silas would be enraged.
He would have Giovanni banished, and Beatrice could not bear it.
Or, even worse, he might force Giovanni to marry her to protect her honor, and Beatrice felt, based on their last conversation, that Giovanni might even refuse him.
Giovanni did not feel as deeply as she did.
Beatrice was completely convinced that he was attracted to her, but he didn’t trust her feelings a whit.
He thought her silly and childish and wrapped up in lust. He would likely refuse to marry her.
Then Silas would demand satisfaction for her honor. They would duel. One of them could die.
It did not bear thinking.
“No, it is fine,” Beatrice set Caleb down on the floor and closed the piano lid. “The viscount is entirely suitable. I am quite content.”
“If you say so, dearest.”
Beatrice caught Anna’s eye. She saw that there was some suspicion there, even a whisper of concern, but Anna clearly did not feel the need to act on it, and Beatrice didn’t say another word. Hopefully, Anna would simply chalk it up to pre-engagement jitters.
“We shall be leaving you then,” Anna swept Caleb into his arms, the little boy giggling delightfully. “Have a safe journey, Bea.”
“You too, sister.”
Beatrice watched Anna leave the room, her throat tightening with all the things she couldn’t say. She had not lied. The viscount was eminently suitable, and the truth was, if she told Anna she was unhappy, they would only find another suitor.
The problem was not with the suitors. The problem was Giovanni.
Beatrice sighed in frustration, hoping against hope that she would find a way out of this tangled mess whereby she could satisfy both her family's needs and her heart's desires.