Chapter 9
Chapter
Nine
Iwore a gauzy dress made of cobwebs and dreams, the blue skirt slashed with pink panels, not as short as the first one I’d ripped off, but much more practical.
And it was already just like that so I didn’t have to use my teeth.
The gauzy top fell off my shoulders, held on by the shimmery pale blue corset that made my waist look delicate and little, particularly with the poufy skirt at my hips.
I had a pretty pink apron wrapped over the corset with long laces, adding another layer to cover the gauzy blouse.
It seemed like the outfit hadn’t been in the closet the first time I’d looked, but there it was, calling to me when I went hunting for something that would work.
I stood behind the counter while my dad turned the lock, flipped the sign to open, and gave me a double thumbs up before he faded into the back.
The door opened, and in stepped the devil wearing a silver and indigo tuxedo, with a large diamond chandelier earring in one ear that glittered almost as brightly as his eyes.
He had a top hat, and half a dozen pocket watches tucked into various pockets of his silver vest, chains glinting and matching the swoop of his earring.
He looked beautifully bizarre, completely impractical but utterly delicious.
“Good morning. Do you have any croissants?” he asked, strolling languidly to the counter and spinning a silver cane with a wickedly sharp point.
“I may have some of those,” I said, unable to help beaming at him. He really had come first thing. If he bought me out, I’d have made a profit for the day’s baking. “How many would you like, kind sir?”
He sniffed twice and leaned against the counter, tilting his head as he looked at my outfit. “All of them.”
I beamed and spun around to pull out the pretty pale blue-and-white striped boxes with The Rabbit Hole decal printed on the front in gold.
I carefully packaged the dozen boxes and stacked them precariously on the glass counter while he watched me.
Divinity watched him with a judgmental look on his face.
I was so happy, it was hilarious, just like everything else.
“That’ll be five hundred and twenty-seven dollars, please.”
He pulled a stack of hundred dollar bills out of his pocket and handed them over. “Keep the change.”
I gasped. “You can’t leave me a seventy-three-dollar tip.”
He raised a brow. “Can’t I? But I’ve tasted your croissants. They’re worth every penny.” He collected the boxes, tied together with pink ribbons, and turned, leaving me holding a stack of bills with a lash of his hooked tail. So pretty.
I looked at Divinity and found that he was now looking at me judgmentally. “His tail is pretty, not him. And so what if he is pretty? I’m not blind or stupid. Mostly. Shut up.”
I turned to smile as the bell jangled and another customer came in. My smile froze as I recognized the silver-winged fairy who had an ogre at each shoulder. Seriously? What was my great-uncle doing here? Was he here to arrest me again?
He looked around, taking everything in with a curl of his derisive lip. “So you’re here,” he said, like that wasn’t obvious.
“As are you. Can I get you something? I have fairy cakes, divinity, and crystallized flowers.” I gestured to the glass case on the side where the elaborately beautiful fairy confections were on display.
My mother had taught me to make those. They were prettier than they were tasty, but that’s fairies for you.
He glanced over at the glass case, and it seemed his sneer became more pronounced as he saw and judged. “I’ll take the top five. Do you have tea?”
I smiled and nodded. He was actually going to order and not just insult and arrest me? “I have several blends preferred by various races. Here’s a hibiscus rosehip blend that my mother liked.”
“I’ll take that.” He sat at a small table while his ogre guards took positions behind him.
I bustled around, arranging the beautiful sugared spun flowers on a large plate, and placed it on the table along with my most delicate teacup and saucer.
It had been my mother’s favorite. I poured for him using the perfect manners she’d taught me you should have around elegant fairies who thought there were proper ways of doing things.
“And what tea blend do you enjoy?” he asked as I straightened from pouring.
“I like peppermint.”
He looked scandalized, like, who would like something so boring?
The bell jangled, and I happily went back to the counter in time to meet the new customers.
A woman with a child ordered a dozen cupcakes then paid with a generous tip and left, glancing at the ogres before hurrying her child quickly outside.
There were six small tables along the large front windows, so there was plenty of room for her to sit and maybe buy more, but the ogres were clearly a deterrent.
And they were right by the glass where everyone could see them.
That was why my dad was in the back of the shop, so the scary goblin didn’t frighten the delicate customers.
My great-uncle looked at me pointedly, so I hurried over with the teapot.
“Do you need a refill?” I asked.
His cup was empty, and one of the sugar confections was missing. “Certainly not. I need a box. These are far too…” his brow furrowed as he searched for an insulting enough word. “Rich to have more than one in a sitting. Your magic isn’t delicate, is it?”
Was that an insult? Not a very bad one. “Right. I’ll get your box then.” And then he’d leave, taking his ogres with him. He could insult me all he wanted as long as he paid. I grabbed the boxes with the sections just the right size for the crystalized flowers and brought them out to him.
I carefully placed the spun sugared confections in the boxes then secured them with a dab of tape before wrapping it in a ribbon and placing it on the table.
“That will be fifty-seven dollars and eighty-two cents.” I gave my brightest smile while I stood there, refusing to move until he paid, ogres or no ogres.
“You charge too little,” he said as he handed me a silver card that matched his wings. “Still, you seem to be competent enough at this shop. I hope you aren’t dating any goblins.”
I held the card in my fingers, frozen there for a second. “Excuse me?”
“Dating. Goblins. Are you?”
None of his business, but before I ran his card, he was a customer, so I’d smile and be agreeable. “No, sir. I’m not dating anyone. I’m trying to run a business.”
He gave me the tiniest nod. “Indeed. I know a young fairy person who dates goblins. It’s as if he took your mother and saw inspiration instead of a cautionary tale.” He tsked.
He was going to insult my mother? My smile slid into feral territory. “I’ll go ahead and take care of that. You’re right, I did give you the wrong amount. It’s one-hundred and fourteen.”
He shrugged one bony shoulder. “As I expected.”
I spun around and headed for the cash register, ran his card on the inflated amount due to a personality surcharge, then returned it with my largest smile.
“Thank you so much for coming and supporting my new venture. Have a lovely day!” I opened the door for him and his ogre guards, exhaling a sigh of relief when they were finally gone.
Ten minutes later, a few customers came in, and after that was a steady stream all morning.
I was out of croissants, of course, but also everything from my fairy cabinet, bought by curious and judgmental fairies who wanted to ogle the goblin-fairy.
Once they tasted my treats, though, they didn’t seem to care what I was made of.
I smiled as my profits grew. Divinity moved around the shop, sometimes sitting on the large mushroom fluff just his size between me and the door.
“It looks so real,” a little girl said, fairy wings fluttering as she reached out to touch my rabbit.
He blinked, and she shrieked and laughed while he wiggled his nose in an adorable rabbit way.
Other than a few people saying animals shouldn’t be allowed, and me pointing to a certificate on the wall that declared him my familiar, and therefore legal—although that was a complete fabrication the devil must’ve come up with—everything went even smoother than I’d expected.
Toward the end of the day, I only had some cupcakes, half of one large chocolate cake, and a pile of cream puffs left, along with a few dozen macarons in the freezer so I’d have something for the next day.
In other words, it was a success beyond my wildest dreams. If I kept on like this, I wouldn’t need five years to pay back the devil.
The bells jangled, the door swung open, and a draft of cold air came in, extinguishing all the lights and leaving me in the suddenly overcast light from outside. My skin went cold and clammy as the shadow spilled over the floor toward me, a long shadow that smelled familiar.
“The Lady of the Wild Woods. Is there something I can get for you? I have some muffins. Or how about some hot tea?” My voice was shaky but not my hands as I grabbed the teapot and threw the entire contents on the spot where the shadows were thickest.
She hissed like a cat then suddenly solidified, except that she was wrapped in flickering bands of red, like blood made solid but still wet. Shiny. Terrifying. Creepy. Particularly her white, white face and the mouth lined in red. Blood red. Real blood.
I swallowed and backed up while her eyes flickered in time to the long blood ribbons wrapping and unwrapping around her like seaweed strands in an invisible current.
“Not tea? Then what can I get for you? How about some cupcakes?” I threw a cupcake at her.
She drew a sword made of blood, slashed through the cupcake, leaving nothing but crumbs of confetti and me standing on the other side of the counter.
I wanted to run to the backroom, up the stairs, and through the closet hopefully to Wonderland, but there was no way I’d make it fast enough.
Maybe if I shrank. I flexed my shrinking muscles and succeeded in giving myself a headache.
“You will die this day,” she whispered, dry, crackling leaves scraping over a sidewalk.
“Why? You should try eating the cupcakes instead of shredding them. They’re much more delicious than blood or people. Think about it, hm?”
She smiled then the blood sword was coming toward me.
I dropped down behind the glass counter, and reflexively brought up my teapot, catching the blood sword with the porcelain lid.
I never would’ve thought teapot vs. blood sword would work, but the sword exploded so that blood went everywhere.
Ew. Human blood. I’d have to close the shop all day tomorrow for cleaning.
But at least I wasn’t dead! Teapot vs. sword was amazing!
And then her second sword came down, skewering me then hooking through my back and raising me so I could face her with the blood sword through my stomach.
“Seriously?” I said, but my words came from far away and the teapot tumbled from my numb fingers. Why did today have to end like this? It had been going so well.
The lady opened her mouth, pulling me over the glass cabinet, and inhaled, sucking my soul and life out of me. Right. Because dying from a blood sword while covered in another sword’s blood wasn’t bad enough.
I jabbed her eyes with my thumbs hard enough that she whipped her head back, eyes feral like her snarl.
“Go away. I don’t take non-paying customers, and you are definitely non-paying. You don’t have any money, do you? Just go…”
She yanked the sword up until it caught on my ribs. Now my blood was falling all over the place, mixing with whatever blood she’d used to make the creepy swords. And the ribbons.
I was so dead. “Philius Gray is going to avenge me,” I whispered. Would he? Or would he just shrug and find someone else to feed his rabbit?
Her eyes narrowed, mouth opening in a hungry smile.
And then the rabbit’s shadow fell over us, stretching taller and taller, until I turned to look at him, a pale shadow in the darkness.
He swallowed her whole, top to bottom, in one gulp, the way Philius ate my croissants.
A shadow seemed to slither away as the blood sword dissolved, leaving me sliding to the ground behind the counter.
Well, that was the weirdest death sequence ever.
Was she dead? How did you kill something that wasn’t alive? Wasn’t I dead yet? So weird.
Divinity was there, soft, fluffy, and somehow still perfectly white. He looked vibrantly healthy, not just kind of cute but gleaming with vitality and life. And then he bit my hand. Seriously? What kind of rabbit bit people when they were already bleeding to death?
A vampire rabbit. I’d known there was something fishy about this deal.
And then Philius Gray was there, kneeling over me, running a hand above me, like he could see the damage that way.
“Stay with me, my beauty,” he murmured as he pressed a hand to my stomach. It should’ve hurt, but I couldn’t feel it. That was a bad thing.
I grabbed his wrist, holding on as well as I could with my blood-slick grip. “You aren’t getting rid of me that easily,” I whispered, barely a breath, because I didn’t have much breath. Any. That was the end of it.
“Hush. Save your strength.”
“So bossy.”
He gave me a deliriously beautiful smile. “I am sort of your boss. You’ve lost a lot of blood.”
“I’m still losing it.”
He groaned and pressed his lips to mine.
I was so surprised that I jerked, and then the taste of him, caramels and ganache with a hint of cinnamon, consumed me. Had anything ever tasted so good?
I lost my mind at that point. He must’ve still had a hand over my stomach to keep in the blood or whatever people put pressure on wounds for, but that was far away, nonessential compared to the sweet and delicious taste of my devil.
He kissed me and kissed me like I’d never been kissed before.
Not that I’d ever been kissed before, but it seemed that no kiss should ever be so exquisite, otherwise that was all anyone would ever do.
Kissing. Two lips, and then his tongue, and was he breathing into my lungs?
Why did that feel so good? Probably because he was a devil and could turn pain into pleasure.
Convenient to have a devil around when you were dying so they could send you off properly.
Or improperly, because kissing a devil wasn’t something I should ever do.
But I clung to his wrist and kissed him, or let him kiss me, as delighted as I possibly could be in such a situation.
Happiness was kissing a devil.