Chapter 11 #2
He stared at me while I stared back. “Of course,” he finally said. The devil carefully moved the cart then picked me up like I was the most fragile piece of precious china. He started toward the stairs with me and the rabbit in his strong arms.
“And will you do the dishes while I sleep?” I murmured against his neck. He smelled so good. Would it be bad to taste him? His rabbit had bitten me twice.
I scraped his neck with my teeth before I realized what I was doing. I would’ve stopped, but he tasted…
He staggered and almost fell down the stairs, startling me enough to realize what I was doing. I sheathed my teeth and tucked my head so my forehead was against his skin where my teeth had been. Bad goblin. But he tasted so good.
“I didn’t do that.”
“Do what?” he said, sounding out-of-breath.
I giggled because it was exactly the most ridiculous thing to say. I cleared my throat. “Sorry about the nibble.”
“I like it.”
“Do you? Then I’m sorry about that too. I know it’s not personal, just that your rabbit needed someone to love him, and there I was, as desperate for love as he was.” I shouldn’t have said that. I was just woozy from blood loss and the taste of him. So sweet. I ached to taste him again.
He held me close, murmuring, “What is personal if not my soul?”
That was a good question that I wasn’t going to answer.
I should nibble on him again. That would stop the words, and he’d fall down the stairs and we’d both die.
That would be perfect. Except that I had to bake in the morning.
I shook my head and pulled back so I could look into his half-lidded eyes.
“That someone else cut out of themselves and gave to you,” I whispered.
His eyes burned as he searched my face, drawn to my mouth. “My life is bound to him. My will, my mind, my essence.”
“What kind of magic could do that to you?” Yes.
Better to talk about that instead of the fact that I’d bitten him.
He’d kissed me because he needed me to not die.
I’d bitten him because he smelled good. Lots of things smelled good.
I didn’t go around biting all of them. Except maybe sometimes. Whatever.
Point is, let’s focus on weird magic instead of my lack of self-control.
His eyes narrowed and he straightened, once again walking up the stairs. “Three-sided, from infernal, heavenly, and neutral magic. She provided the heavenly and neutral. I provided the infernal. It was bound by blood and emotion. Love can be the most terrible magic of all.”
My heart was instantly shredded by a cheese grater.
You know, with the small blades? He’d loved her.
That was why he’d given her his heart for half a soul.
She hadn’t loved him, or she wouldn’t have asked for his heart.
You didn’t take someone’s heart out of their chest if you loved them.
What an idiot. This angelic person who didn’t have the sense to love my devil when he was offering his heart.
I nodded and clung to Divinity. “Like my parents’ love created me, your love created Divinity. That explains everything. Do you have a mother?”
He hesitated then sighed. “No. I was spawned from avarice and greed.”
“Seriously?”
He chuckled, low and melodious. “No. I was abandoned in a desolate orphanage in a desolate country where they cut off my wings, sawed off my horns, and ripped off my tail.”
My stomach lurched at the thought. “Seriously?”
“Not seriously, but that was the gist of it. I deserved absolutely every bit of their torture, but I still resented it. Devils are a resentful lot.”
“What did you do to deserve torture? Maybe I don’t want to know.”
“What didn’t I do? I fought, I stole, I lied, I killed…”
“Well, that is a long list of don’ts. I suppose you made a lot of deals, too.”
“All the deals. I’ve been trading favors and taking advantage of weaknesses for a very long time.”
“But your soul doesn’t like it when you do bad things. That’s why he’s so judgmental. You should stop.”
“I have a sum-positive curse.”
“But you could get rid of all the bad you do and just focus on good.”
“Could I? But why would I do something so deeply against my own self-interest?”
I raised my head to stare at him. He was standing on the landing, not moving, just staring into my eyes and holding me like he didn’t want to put me down.
“Maybe you have an incorrect definition of self-interest. Happiness is never achieved by pursuing it, only as a by-product of living a good life. That’s why people do good, because it has its own rewards.
You should try it sometime. Just for the novelty of it.
Put me down please. I’ll walk from here. ”
His brow was quirked as he slowly lowered me to the floor. “You are much more persuasive than the rabbit.”
“Do you think so? Maybe it’s actually you who wants to be persuaded, and that’s why your soul chose me and the angel before me.
” I brushed past him into my small, charming room.
I didn’t even know what I was saying. Was he actually swaying toward good?
Could a devil be saved by a soul-rabbit and a fairy-goblin?
No. He had to want to be saved. You couldn’t force goodness on others any more than you could force happiness.
But if he wanted to be saved, if he craved love as much as I did, if he was tired of looking for happiness in taking advantage of others, maybe he’d change.
And maybe I was telling myself that because I wanted him and his soul to keep.
I crashed into bed, closed my eyes tight, and willed myself to sleep.
I had five years to pay off my debt and not fall for a devil without a heart who could be my undoing.