Chapter Thirty
Kara
I woke in Luke’s arms. He moved us to the bed, but I was still sprawled out on top of him. I breathed in marshmallows, smiling, until I saw the book near my hips where he had his arms draped around me, flipping a page.
I rose quickly, snatching the book. Well, I thought it did. I felt the weight in my hand before it vanished. I whipped my head around and glared at the impressive male slouched against the bedpost. “Why do you keep looking at the destruction? You said you’d burn it?”
“Why do you block it out?” he countered.
My heart felt like a grape shriveling into a raisin. “Does it please you that much?”
The tip of his tail wrapped around one of my ankles, making my senses go haywire. “It pleases me that you’re here, at my mercy.”
When I tried to push myself off his chest, his arms tightened around me.
I didn’t say a word, just faded, realizing my powers had returned while I slept.
I re-faded in front of the bed. Luke stood and stretched.
My attention snapped to the pull of muscle in his torso.
The patches on his skin only seemed to illuminate the power he held.
I swallowed, dragging my gaze back to his face so I could focus.
Since I didn’t know how long I slept, who knew how long I had stayed mortal.
The family. Fear dragged me under like quicksand. Closing my eyes, I sought everyone’s essence. When I felt everyone’s strong lifeline, my shoulders loosened. Barron’s was the easiest to find. His pain rippled through him, even changing the way his soul felt when searching for him.
The weight of his sadness felt like my own. It reminded me of our conversation about where Gwendolyn was, so I blurted, “What’s Heaven like?”
He stiffened mid-stretch, then slowly dropped his arms. “Why the sudden change of topic? I thought you’d continue to hound me over the book.”
“You’re despicable, and you want to remind me, so you had the book out. See? I already know.” I sighed. “The portal to Heaven opened for one of ours. The angels took my brother’s mate.”
“Oh.” Luke strode toward the table. “Come. Sit.” He pulled out a chair, beckoning me as a buffet of breakfast food appeared on the table.
Stomach growling, I followed him and took the seat he offered.
When he sat beside me, he continued, “If you’re thinking she’s unsafe, don’t. She’s very much safer there than with your family.”
I grabbed a piece of bacon and pried open a buttery biscuit. “That’s not why I asked. It’s Heaven. Of course, she’s safe.”
He quirked a brow. “That confident you’ve been sending those kind souls to a perfect place?”
“Don’t,” I muttered, then bit into my biscuit.
“Well.” He took a deep breath. “It is perfect, peaceful, and utterly boring for those who don’t belong.”
I stopped chewing as I studied Luke. He was inspecting a piece of sausage like it was the most interesting thing in the world.
But I figured he was more lost in thought.
The more I watched and tried to understand Luke, the more compelling he became.
I wanted to crack him open and ask so many questions.
The most important one might be: How did he live forever and not have regret or remorse, which brought the word to my lips, “Explain.”
“Explain what?”
“Why did you try to overthrow your creator?”
He stiffened. “I thought you were asking what Heaven was like.”
I put down my food. “I want to know, but I’m curious about why you were cast out. The truth.”
Crimson eyes pierced mine, then he turned his body to face me. “Heaven is peaceful because you merely exist there.”
I frowned, which made him rub the tip of his left horn.
“There’s nothing,” he continued. “No love, no family, no need to eat. You may rest, but even that’s not needed.
Angels merely walk around their golden homes, in a harmony that only exists there, while they watch God’s other creations live.
Angels call each other brother and sisters, but it doesn’t mean the same as what it does for humans or other species.
Curiosity exists there, but never the desire for more.
Angels also know beauty. It’s probably the one thing they allow themselves. ”
“I’m confused.”
“Don’t be. It’s simple. Heaven is peaceful, wonderful even, because love doesn’t exist there.
Love can’t exist without hate, jealousy, envy.
Family can’t exist because there’s no room for favoritism.
There’s no one you’re allowed to love more.
Everyone treats everyone the same. See? That’s why it’s beautiful, because a harmony exists there that a person couldn’t dream of getting anywhere else. ”
His words caused a trickle of unease to slide through me. “So, it’s true you don’t remember who you are there?”
“I don’t know what it’s like for humans, but I’d imagine God takes all their pain away. That’s how He is, but to do that and to keep His peace, I assume He must take everything.”
My stomach churned. “So, Gwendolyn most likely won’t remember anything.”
“Don’t listen to me. I truly don’t know what He does to humans. I knew what it was like as one of His angels.” He pushed a plate toward me. “Eat.”
I didn’t. Instead, I met his intense stare again. “Why did you do it? Even when you talk of your creator, you don’t sound vindictive.”
“Don’t be fooled. I loathe what He’s done to me.”
“But you—”
“I know what I did. No need to remind me.”
“So, why?”
“You’re like a dog with a bone,” he muttered.
I nudged his side. “Tell me.”
His shoulders deflated before he looked away.
“I used to be like every other angel, then humans were created, and we got to watch them through a scrying glass embedded into a watering well. When I saw the humans for the very first time, I also saw a glimpse of something else in the well. The second time I saw it, I changed, physically and mentally.”
“What did you see?” I asked.
Something about the fire in his eyes scorched me head to toe. “I don’t know.”
“How do you not know?”
“Whatever it was faded from my thoughts as soon as it disappeared from the water.”
That conversation was not what I was expecting. “How do you know you saw something if you can’t remember?”
“Because,” he said the word with so much reverence that my skin flushed again, like the Devil was telling me a grave secret of his. “You won’t—you can’t forget what introduced every sin to you by a mere glimpse, even if you can’t recall exactly what it was.”
His tone ensnared me. “Well, go on. How did you change?”
“How do you think? I said sins. Lust hit me instantly. Imagine being an angel who didn’t have to piss suddenly having an engorged cock?”
I covered my mouth to hide the smile, trying to imagine what Luke looked like as an angel.
There was no way I could picture him as anything other than the horned male I knew him as, but he must have been quite different before.
Even so, who he was in Hell was what called to a part of me—a part much bigger than I wanted to acknowledge.
“Well, did you figure out what to do with it?” I gestured between his legs, so he knew what it was.
He shook his head like I was a nuisance for asking, but I didn’t miss the flash of fangs, like a slight smile, before he said, “Instincts came naturally, Kitten. I figured it out immediately.” Then his brows pinched together.
“The other sins came one after another. I got hungry after that. Then slowly everything else came. I tricked Eve into releasing the same wickedness inside me onto their new world. But it wasn’t enough.
Angels weren’t supposed to do the things the humans were doing.
I grew tired of no one else understanding why I wasn’t satisfied with how things were.
Some angels became like me, as you know, and well. .. You should know how it goes.”
Still… “I find it strange that you changed so drastically over something you don’t remember.”
“It didn’t matter that I couldn’t remember. It woke me up, woke everything inside me.”
“In a way, don’t you think fate’s a kind of bitch?” He quirked a brow, then rested his elbow on the table as he leaned in as if he was telling me to go on, so I did. “It’s like no matter what we do, everything’s already decided. Even you were a victim.”
“I wasn’t a victim, Kara.” He smiled, flashing a hint of fang again.
A warm fizzle settled inside my chest from his smiles.
He continued, “Just because my story isn’t what you expected doesn’t change who I am or the things I’ve done. I bet you don’t know I held your mom captive when she was human.”
Every molecule inside me rioted. Hades, a part of me wanted to pretend I didn’t hear it. “I know you have a terrible history with my dad.”
“Don’t give me those eyes. Your dad came to her rescue rather quickly. I believe that was the last time I allowed him to enter Hell.”
“Why did you have my mother?” Did I want to know?
“To kill her,” he said plainly. “I didn’t want another Grim Reaper on my hands, messing up my plans. I knew what your mother was destined to become, and what they’d create from their love. More trouble for me.”
“You purposely say things to piss me off,” I muttered, snatching another roll and biting into it. Before I swallowed, I added, “Well, congratulations.”
I allowed him to infuriate me easily that time. And it wasn’t like I hadn’t known things had happened but hearing it from Luke’s mouth was a different matter. My family had to disappear for him to be happy.
Melancholy seeped into my bones. I hated that I enjoyed our conversation, learning about him, before he purposely added my parents.