Chapter Thirty-One
Kara
The Past: Kara’s Human Senior Prom Night
Fiddling with one of the dozen bobby pins in my hair, I was almost nose to nose with my reflection in the mirror.
There. I smiled, satisfied when the curl stayed in place.
Half of my long locks were pinned up, while the rest lay against my bare back.
The black sequin dress was lovely, and while it didn’t reveal anything more than my back, the material clung to my skin, drawing attention to the curve of my hips.
I spun around, inspecting myself. When I noticed how high my heels were, I frowned.
I was already so much taller than Gregory.
Maybe I’d do a lot of sitting instead of standing so I could stare at a face—any face—when I talked to Shadow.
Excitement filled my lungs, and I materialized smaller heels.
Something in my chest fluttered—fragile, like a heartbeat I hadn’t heard in years.
I still couldn’t believe I was speaking to Shadow in the flesh. The idea of chatting, laughing, and touching with my long-time friend, Hades! I needed to get to school so I could see him.
Unable to contain myself, I giggled as I faded and re-faded into the bathroom at high school. I took another quick peek at myself in the mirror, where I gave myself a wink , and then stepped into the hall. And nearly bumped into the calculus teacher in my rush.
“Kara.” Mrs. Smith gasped, clutching her chest before her fear morphed into a frown. “I didn’t see you come in.”
“Really?” I cocked my head. “I’ve been here a while. My mom dropped me off.” The fib rolled off my tongue easily. Everything in my life, especially with attending a school in the human world, was a lie.
“You always have a knack for popping out of nowhere.”
She had no idea.
Mrs. Smith shooed me forward. “Oh, well, get into the gym.”
“I’m waiting for someone,” I said, twisting around to face the entrance. I didn’t know where Shadow planned to meet me.
“I’ll take her off your hands, Mrs. Smith.” My skin tingled at Gregory’s voice.
The voice wore Gregory’s face, but it wasn’t him. The cadence was too calm, too sure. Gregory stammered when he was nervous. This voice had waited centuries.
How did he know her name? Shadow seemed to know everything.
He should probably frighten me, but everything about him thrilled me.
Even when I was a child trying to figure out why the shadows followed me, a sense of comfort came from him.
The ominous presence lurking became my confidant.
He never left me alone for long. I’d watched enough princess movies to infatuate myself with the idea that he was waiting for me to grow up and steal me away.
Perhaps it was time. Maybe my delusions were more than girly obsessions.
I was eighteen and, for the first time, he spoke to me—not wrote but spoke to me as a male. Well, not his body, but it didn’t matter.
“Kara is your date?” Mrs. Smith’s question pulled me from my reverie.
Shadow’s not paying attention to her. An instant flush of heat hit my face and neck. I didn’t know why his focus on me felt so much more intense. Shadow had been watching me for as long as I could remember, possibly all my life, and I never got an answer from him when I asked why.
“Yeah. She’s mine,” he said, never once breaking eye contact with me. “Isn’t she lovely?”
My lips curled upward.
“Yeah, she is,” Mrs. Smith agreed. “You two have fun.”
As soon as Mrs. Smith turned the corner in the hall, Gregory’s entire face darkened, and my stomach sank before he even uttered, “Beauty is nauseating. Its ability to turn heads, start wars, and ruin lives.”
This was Shadow. He was quite grumpy and a shrew of a guy, but—I didn’t even know what I wanted, what I expected from a night with him.
I enjoyed verbally sparring with him, but there was a deep yearning for something else…
More soft and less hateful. Something a little more real.
I knew nothing about Shadow, and he knew every part of my life.
Just once, I wanted honesty and fewer insults.
Every time he gave me a compliment, he always made a comment afterward to make it not mean anything. I had a hard time understanding him.
“This guy is not tall, is he?” Shadow lifted his finger to my neck.
As he dragged the digit across my skin, a shudder ran through me.
The deep, sudden tightening in my center was an unbearable thing, especially as he traced the finger near my cleavage.
I realized then, Shadow was right. Gregory wasn’t tall, and the heels weren’t short enough. His eyes were level with my breasts.
Shadow was intent on teasing me about it, so I cleared my throat and side-stepped. “Shall we go to the dance?”
“If that’s what you want,” he replied, taking my hand.
I swallowed, hating how much I liked seeing our hands together, even if they weren’t really his. I wanted something more than borrowed faces and ghost hands. But for now, this would have to be enough.
???
Shadow was a terrible date. He refused to dance. In his usual fashion, he grumbled and complained about everyone and everything around us. The only time he wasn’t scowling was in those rare moments I caught him staring, only for him to turn away sighing the second we made eye contact.
It was worse when some of boys I went to school with snickered and approached us.
Shadow’s entire demeanor changed. Instead of sitting sprawled out in his seat beside me, he’d sit up and slink his arm across my chair.
The guys were used to picking on Gregory, so they didn’t know what to do when Shadow cut them down with a mere glare.
They didn’t even speak. They just left, which was bizarre.
It seemed Shadow’s energy didn’t just affect me.
Being close to him was what I craved, but not like he was doing, flaunting me as something they couldn’t have because that simply wasn’t true.
I was my own person, and I’d do what I wanted.
Instead of waiting and being hopeful, I should remind him how good I was at verbally fighting with him.
While I liked that he seemed annoyed by other men approaching me, he made it clear before that he didn’t want a physical relationship with me when we were in the janitor’s closet.
I didn’t like how vulnerable Shadow made me feel.
I stood and Shadow asked, “Where are you going?”
“Dancing,” I said. “I refuse to sit here all night. If you want to, you can rot in your seat.”
No longer would I be a placeholder. If Shadow didn’t want me, he couldn’t act like he owned me. I wasn’t something to display or hide—I was a person. One he clearly didn’t understand.
I strode away and into a sea of classmates dancing. Michelle called out to me as she ground her butt against Josh. “Kara!”
My hips swayed to the rhythm as I walked toward her, letting the bass pick up my spirit.
“I still can’t believe you came with Gregory,” Michelle said, eyeing the area where the tables were.
We couldn’t see where Gregory sat from how crowded it was, though. “Gregory seems different,” Josh piped in. “It’s kind of crazy.”
I opened my mouth to reply—
But the music shifted. No, not the music. The air. It turned dense, charged, like a storm had entered the room. And I didn’t need to look to know he was behind me.
“What’s crazy is my date thinking talking to either of you is enjoyable.” Shadow’s hand slipped around my waist. “Let’s get out of here.”
I should have shoved him off. I should have told him I wasn’t something to be claimed.
But when his hand slid across my waist, something in me melted. Damn him. Damn how easy it was to want what I swore I wouldn’t.
“I haven’t danced.” I jerked away from him.
“We will.” He sounded like the words physically hurt to say. “Just…not here.”
“Then why come at all if you hate this so much?”
His jaw clenched. Silence.
“Forget it,” I muttered, turning. “Just go.”
“You.”
I froze.
“You, Kara.”
I turned slowly. He wasn’t looking at me—he was pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes tilted to the ceiling like it was his only escape.
“I came for you.”
My lips parted, the faintest smile forming—
“My presence is surely a relief compared to the humans. I’m doing you a favor.”
And just like that, the warmth curdled.
“Unbelievable.”
“What?”
“Why won’t you admit you wanted to be near me like this, too?” I grabbed his hand, threading our fingers together. “Why do you always erase the nice things you say with something cruel?”
“I don’t.”
“Yes, you do.”
His eyes flashed bright red. “Do you want to dance or not?”
“Yes!”
“Then we’ll dance.” He pointed toward the exit. “But we’d do it alone.”
Heat rushed up my neck, flushing my cheeks. I hated how thrilled I felt, how eager my body was to be alone with him, even if it was Shadow. Especially because it was Shadow.
He tugged my hand, leading me past the parking lot toward the hill that overlooked the school. The oaks swayed in the night breeze, casting shadows under the moonlight.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Somewhere quiet.”
His silence stretched. Then, without warning, he asked, “Do you like the human world?”
I blinked. “Yeah.”
His brow furrowed. The lines on his forehead deepened as he tightened his grip on my hand.
“Do you really like their company?”
“Humans?” I quirked a brow. “Yes.”
He stopped beneath a massive tree and gestured for me to sit. The wind pulled at the curls pinned in my hair. Leaves rustled above us, but Shadow stood there, unmoving, expression carved in stone.
“Why does that bother you?” I asked slowly, lowering myself onto the grass.
He didn’t answer immediately. He just stared at the sky, then back down at me, eyes unreadable.
“Kara.”
With a huff, I held my dress against my thighs and sat.
He joined me, leaning against the tree. At first, I had been excited about that night with Shadow, but the more I noticed how oddly he behaved, my hands grew clammy.
My heart twisted painfully. His usual grumpiness was more like restlessness instead.
He looked irritated, and I’d catch him staring constantly until I returned his gaze.
Nudging his shoulder, I asked, “What is it?”
I didn’t want to fight with him any longer. I wanted to fix the fissure settling in my chest cavity. There had to be a reason he seemed so odd.
“You don’t belong here,” he said, grabbing my hand and lifting it to inspect.
“These hands,” he started, letting his fingers glide down my arm. “This body.” He caressed my chin, tilting my face left, then right before leaning closer. “You may look like them, but you don’t belong here.”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t.” His finger grazed my bottom lip, and a pulse of need built in my panties. “You have no idea, Kara, no idea where you belong.”
“And you know?” I asked, barely listening as I leaned closer.
“Yes, I do,” he uttered against my lips. We were so close I could taste his breath. “Careful now… If you kiss me, you’ll long for another one for a very long time. You’ll search for the spark with someone else, but it won’t come.”
“Is that wishful thinking on your part?” I darted my tongue out and licked his lower lip, causing him to tense.
“Yes,” he whispered, and my heart pounded at the admittance.
Before he could ruin it with his next barbed words, I leaned forward and stole his lips.
Shadow opened for me instantly and stole the lead.
He cupped the back of my neck and thrust his tongue into my mouth.
I moaned, clit throbbing, as he ravaged my lips.
There was so much haste and fever inside me, I started clawing at his tuxedo.
Shadow tore away from me, covering his face as he huffed. He leaned against the tree, still hiding himself.
“Why did you stop?” I asked, crawling between his legs.
He stopped me. Dropping his hand, his pimply cheeks were rosy red. “You’re entering a part of your life I can’t see. And I think I know what I want now so much more clearly.”
I froze. “What?”
“I can’t be a part of your life anymore.”
If a heart were a sponge, mine shriveled up and died. “I don’t understand.”
“You do. You know exactly what I mean.”
Tears seeped out of me. “Can’t or won’t?”
“I can’t be a part of this stage of your life.” He shook his head and stood. “I shouldn’t have been a part of it at all.”
I followed, tugging at his arm sleeve. “Is it because I desire you? I won’t kiss you. You’re a shadow anyway. I couldn’t even if I wanted. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t know me!” he yelled, causing me to flinch. “You don’t know a thing. You’re so na?ve. Fuck, you’re still a child.”
I cried, covering my eyes.
“It’s not meant to be like this. You need to live your life, but I can’t see you do it. I would kill any—” He stopped suddenly, going quiet.
I wiped my eyes and saw how stiff he was. His jaws were clenched tightly.
“You can’t see me? Why?”
“I can’t even feel you!” He gripped my arm, yanking me to him and putting my palm against his cheek. He shut his eyes. When they opened, his shoulders had straightened. “And yet… I know what I shall do.”
“You’re confusing me.”
“This is goodbye.” Shadow kissed my knuckles, and the crimson blinked within Gregory’s brown eyes.
“You’re leaving me.”
“Yes.”
I yanked my hand from his grip. “I’ll be fine without you.”
“Yes.”
His dull responses pissed me off. “I can’t stand you.”
“The clock’s ticking. Live your life, Kara, because you never know when it will be the last time you witness this world.”
“I’m immortal,” I said defiantly. “I’ll see the human world as much as a want! You don’t get to just leave—”
“Kara?” Gregory stumbled away from me as he glanced around. “Wait. How did I get here?”
My arms fell to my side as I finished what I tried to say to Shadow, “Me.”
Only he was gone. And it would be a long time before he, or should I say it, returned.