Chapter 32 Dex
DEX
One week later.
Dex sealed tape along the top of the last box. “I think that’s it. We’re all packed.”
Luc moved the box to the pile next to Dex’s bedroom door. This was all that was coming with him to his new condo. Fuck, it didn’t seem like much.
Other than the boxes, his parents’ place was completely empty. Their belongings had been taken to Luc’s that morning, and the furniture had been collected for donation earlier that week.
Luc rested his hand at the small of Dex’s back. “How does it feel?”
Dex leaned into him, the tape dispenser held limply at his side. “You know how I feel.”
The mate bond wrapped around Dex as securely as the hand at his back. If Dex concentrated on Luc rather than himself, he could feel Luc’s calm, open presence. A contrast to his own feelings.
Experiencing more than your inner self was mind-boggling. Dex hadn’t given it much consideration before bonding, and could admit he’d been unprepared, but nothing could have gotten him ready for the open line to Luc’s affection.
It was the most beautiful thing Dex had ever experienced, and every time he reflected on their bond, he was grateful all over again that he hadn’t had to choose between this and the afterlife.
“I may know how you feel, Dex, but I still want to talk about it.” A flash of unease shot down the bond, and Dex’s heart clenched.
He dropped the tape dispenser and gripped Luc’s sweater. “I know you do. Sorry.”
Luc pulled Dex against him. “There’s no need to apologize. This is a hard moment. I imagine it’s difficult to put into words.”
Dex pressed his face into Luc’s firm chest, his soft sweater tickling his cheek, and gathered his thoughts, trying his best to organize all the tangled sensations running through him.
“I feel the same as I have for weeks, but also…more. Raw. I didn’t realize how exposing it’d be to share all this through the bond. You feel everything I do, and that’s so intimate.”
Luc ran a hand through Dex’s hair. “I treasure the intimacy and promise to hold everything you share with me with the utmost care.”
Dex had no doubt. The sensation of the bond—of Luc—wrapped around him was pure safety. “I treasure it too. I just didn’t realize I could be any more seen than I already was. I thought I’d given you all of me, then I packed this last box and… It’s not bad. I…” Dex’s throat thickened.
Luc let the silence hang, giving Dex room if he wanted to say more without pressing him, but Dex had no words left.
After a long moment, Luc’s deep voice surrounded Dex in a soothing resonance.
“Sharing sadness is an incredibly intimate act, and I want to hold this piece of you as much as the rest. I don’t only like you when you’re expressing your sexual desires, or only when you’re happy and having fun.
When we met, I wanted to destroy the sadness you carried, but that was before I knew better.
There’s no need to destroy this. That would be a travesty.
I want to share this with you. Your love for your family is precious, and I’m honored to be a part of it.
I’m thankful that I’m here for this part of your life. You live with your whole heart.”
Dex was speechless, his pulse pounding in his ears. He almost didn’t want to pull his face from Luc’s chest, but he did.
Dex smiled at his mate, cheeks hot. “So do you, you know. I didn’t realize it was possible to be so determined, so focused and intense, and at the same time so sweet, but that’s what’s in your heart.
It’s you. I’m sad to leave this place behind, but excited for the rest of my life.
I’ll always wish my parents were here, but saying goodbye is okay.
I’m glad you’re here with me. I don’t feel alone like I would have if I’d had to do this without you. ”
Luc stroked Dex’s chin and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Would you like to stay a while?”
Dex took in the empty room. “No. I’m ready to be done. Let’s bring these boxes to my new place.”
Luc pulled out his phone and called the moving company waiting on standby to say that everything was ready. “Why don’t we get coffee and a pastry downstairs while we wait?” He held out his hand.
Dex took it. “That sounds perfect.” He led Luc out of the empty condo, taking one last look. “On to something new,” he muttered as he shut the door, the words bittersweet, but taking a weight with them as they faded from his lips.
“To something new,” Luc echoed.
Dex and Luc crossed the river, coffees in hand. They took their time, pausing to check out the shops on Dex’s new block before entering his building. As Dex unlocked the condo door, a sense of pride flooded the bond, and Dex couldn’t help smiling.
It was ridiculous that Luc was proud of him. He hadn’t done anything noteworthy.
Dex glowed anyway. Pleasing Luc energized him. It made him whole like nothing else ever had, whether it was pleasing Luc sexually or otherwise.
The boxes arrived at the new condo shortly after Dex and Luc. They arranged them on the living room floor in a patch of sun cascading in from the glass door to the balcony.
Dex’s mind strayed to the night before. Bonded sex was a whole new world, and fed all of his kinks. Luc’s praise and approval went from verbal to physical. Their desires fed off each other, transforming into an ever-growing feedback loop like nothing Dex had ever dreamed of.
There was only one thing Dex didn’t like about their newly enhanced sex life.
“What is it?” Luc asked, no doubt feeling the stab of disappointment that had hit Dex in the chest. Luc abandoned the box he’d been about to open, concern lining his face.
Why did he have to think about this now? Dex had been avoiding this for a reason. “It’s stupid,” he muttered, his face flaming.
Luc’s expression hardened. “What did I tell you about calling yourself stupid?”
Dex looked at his feet, then up again. “That I shouldn’t because I’m not.”
“No, you’re not. So…care to share?” Luc raised a brow. He sounded stern, but affection and concern flooded their connection.
Dex couldn’t help opening up, words coming out in a rush. “I can’t be good for you anymore.”
Luc’s eyes widened. “What do you mean? Of course you can.”
Fuck that hadn’t come out right. “Not like before. You can’t tell me not to come and use me now that we’re bonded. I can’t hold back when you finish.”
Dex came every time Luc did. Every sensation Luc experienced during sex, Dex experienced too. Feeling Luc’s orgasms through the bond always triggered his own orgasm, no matter how recently he’d come or how much he tried to hold it off.
Dex twisted his hands together. “I love being used and denied. Doing something solely for you. I didn’t realize it would go away when we bonded.”
What a trivial worry. Even if he’d known, Dex wouldn’t have chosen not to bond. He was being greedy, but still, the disappointment lingered.
“Oh, Dex.” Luc cupped his cheeks, a smile tugging on his red lips. “That particular pleasure hadn’t gone anywhere. You need training, that’s all.”
Dex’s core tightened, and heat flooded him. “Training?”
“You like that,” Luc teased, wicked amusement tickling the bond.
“Yes, training. Blocking strong emotions and sensations is difficult, especially during something as unrestrained as sex, but it’s not impossible.
We can practice. And even if we can’t block each other’s pleasure entirely, I can train you to handle my orgasm.
With practice, you’ll build a tolerance.
I bet you’ll hold out longer and even be able to bear it one day. ”
Dex groaned softly. “Training like that’s going to take forever.” Fuck, he was breathless.
Luc’s fangs lengthened. “Not forever, but a while, I’m sure.
And I can’t wait to get started. Think how much I’ll enjoy bringing you close and stopping.
Holding you on the edge. We’ll learn what works for us.
And even if my orgasm triggers yours, I’ll still be in control of you.
You can’t come without me or touch yourself without my permission. You can still be good for me.”
Dex went from disappointed to hard in his pants. “You’re right.” He’d been too focused on one thing to see all the new possibilities.
Luc’s eyes flashed. “And no, we aren’t starting now, you desperate little thing. You can stay hard and wanting while we unpack your boxes.”
Dex made a childish, overdramatic sound, but he was grinning ear to ear. “Okay, fine, but can we start soon?”
“We’ll see.” Luc’s excitement sparked, fading to a smoldering sense of love that flooded their bond and brought them even closer together.