Chapter 23 Katya
Lead weighs down my body as Enzo carries me from HELL. The rhythmic motion of his pace and his heated skin lulls me into peaceful serenity. “Where are we going?”
He loads me into the back seat of an SUV, and I barely manage to stay upright, slumber calling me closer. Climbing in on the opposite side, he wraps his arm around my waist, gently pulling me into his lap so my legs straddle his hips. I follow without question.
Note to future men, want me compliant? Simply get me drunk off orgasms. My defiance is like a fucking sugar cookie, dunk me in a tall, dark handsome glass of milk and I fucking crumble.
“Home,” he answers as he nuzzles his nose into my neck, his hot breath cascading over my skin.
“Are you…upset with me?” I fiddle with the gold chain hanging from his neck. Rookie mistake leaving it on for a fight, but I guess I shouldn’t talk, he did win.
He traces circles against my thigh. “Why would I be upset with you, baby?” The calmness of his words raise the hairs on the back of my neck. Is this a trick?
“I snuck into HELL. I…let your brother…” I can’t even finish the sentence. I can castrate a man, slice his throat, and dance in the pool of his blood but admitting out loud I let Rafael finger me while Enzo watched? Mortified shame doesn’t even begin to describe it.
“You let my brother finger-fuck your pussy in a crowd of thugs while I beat the shit out of some criminal?”
“That sums it up,” I say with an air of sarcasm, not sure how to handle his detailed description. My stare hyper-focuses on his chest, noting the pierced nipples and black and grey tattoos covering his pecs.
His fingers attempt to lift my chin, but I resist. “Look at me, Lucy.”
My gaze snaps up with his command and I curse myself. Weak, Katya. You’re weak.
“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. There’s no jealousy between Rafael and I and if you want him too, he’s yours. I’m yours. You’ve got us fucking wrapped around your wicked little fingers.”
My heart thuds around like it’s having a seizure before a heavy dose of guilt stabilizes it. “Don’t say that.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.” His grip tightens against my chin, and he gives it a little shake. “But if you ever fucking sneak about in HELL again, I’ll spank your ass raw, baby. It’s not safe for someone like you down there. Not without Raf or I by your side. Do you understand me?”
“A bit hypocritical of you, don’t you think?”
“I can make demands when I’m the fucking hound of Seattle. You, baby, are a lamb set out for slaughter in a world like ours. Call me a hypocrite, but as long as you’re safe, I don’t give a fuck what you think.”
I yank my chin away, wiggling in his lap to distance myself. “I can handle—”
“Don’t even start up with that bratty mouth, Lucy. I’m not fucking around. HELL is dangerous.”
“So am I,” I blurt before I even think it through, forgetting momentarily Katya Romanova isn’t the girl sitting in his lap right now.
“Dangerously stupid.” His head tilts, a glimmer of rage crossing his handsome face.
The SUV slows then comes to a halt before I can throat punch the bastard.
I step out of the SUV first and he follows close behind as I march up the steps of the Alessi Manor.
I’m not entirely sure what I’m pissed off about.
Maybe it was him calling me stupid, maybe it was him making demands of me, maybe it was the realization I fucked up and for the briefest of moments forgot Enzo and Rafael don’t care about me…
they want Lucy. An odd pang of jealousy courses through me.
“Lucy!” he shouts, steps fast approaching. Stupid fucking long legs.
Before he reaches me, I spin, pointing my finger in his face.
But for the first time in my life, I can’t get any words out.
Instead, I grit my teeth and scrunch my nose, glaring at him so hard I think I might burn a hole through his forehead.
The reality is, I’m not upset with him or Rafael at all.
Logically, they are right. HELL is no place for someone like Lucy.
But I’m not Lucy and that’s truly what has the fire burning hot inside me.
Because I want to be her.
“Cute.” He smirks, bending down and throwing me over his shoulder and smacking my ass as my feet kick.
“Enzo!”
“That’s right baby, scream my name.”
As he lugs me through the front doors, two men whispering next to the stairs gawk at the scene he’s causing as I pound against his back, screaming at the top of my lungs.
“Move,” he commands, and the men scurry away.
When he gets to my room, he opens the door, walking in like he belongs here and tosses me on the bed. The wig goes askew, and I pull it off, tossing it to the floor along with the lace cap.
“You can’t man handle me, Enzo! I’m a human being!”
“Yeah, a fucking annoying one at this moment. Would you stop fighting me for like two fucking seconds and let me take care of you?” His hands fly up into the air as he begins pacing the room.
I stay firmly planted to the bed, my heavy pants mellowing out.
He stops, pointing a finger at me. He’s still shirtless and bloody and I’m having a hard time remembering why we are in this situation.
“You,” he begins pacing again, stopping in front of me after three passes, “you are the most infuriating woman I’ve ever been with.”
My mouth pops open but the glare he cuts me makes my jaw snap shut. “I don’t do this.” He motions between us. “I don’t care.”
“I don’t care either. Do what you want,” I huff, scooting to the edge of the bed and crossing my arms, doing everything I can to avoid making eye contact with the infuriating devil.
He drops to his knees in front of me and I physically jerk back, what the fuck?
“No, Lucy. I don’t care.” His expression softens, a mix of confusion and tenderness shining through his dark irises as he takes my wrists and guides them around his neck. “But you make me and I…I hate it.” The backs of his knuckles run down my cheek.
“So let me go.”
“I can’t.”
Butterflies ignite inside me, my chest heaving with powerful breaths at the realization I can’t let go either. I’m falling and when I hit the ground, I’m going to shatter into a million irreparable pieces.
Good thing I’m addicted to pain.
“Enzo Baby.” It’s all I can say, all I can admit at this moment.
He’s making this too fucking difficult. It wasn’t supposed to go like this. I wasn’t supposed to care; they weren’t supposed to care.
They only want Lucy; they’d never love you. Only Ilya cares. And even then, once you kill Alexey, you’ll be all alone. Like you deserve.
“Let me care for you, please,” he begs, and I couldn’t tell him no if my life depended on it.
Funny thing is, it might.
If all I get in this life is to be loved as someone I’m not, at least I’ll have felt something other than rage, guilt, and shame.
I nod.
He rises from the floor and pushes into me, laying me back as his lips meet mine in a tender embrace. His fingers gently caress my neck, and my hands run up his chest and over his shoulders, his skin still hot and slightly damp from the fight.
When he begins to push my jacket down, I freeze, remembering my brand.
I push myself back in the bed, covering myself with my jacket. He lets out a defeated sigh.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “Just…give me a minute.”
Rushing off the bed and into the bathroom, I slam the door and change out of the suit and fishnet top. Unclipping my bra, I let it fall to the floor before tugging on an oversized cotton t-shirt. I keep the red lace panties on, hoping Enzo will love them as much as I do.
Next, I unwind the braids and let my long hair fall loose and wild behind me.
When I open the door, he’s perched on the edge of the bed, elbows on knees, head falling low until he lifts it, taking me in. “Fuck, what have you done to me?”
I walk up to him and settle between his knees. His touch runs up the backs of my thighs and I run my fingers through his messy hair, untying his bun. “I’m sorry, Enzo. For everything I’ve done and all that’s to come. I’m a fucked up person and I can’t give you what you want.”
“You don’t need to be afraid. There isn’t anything you could show me that would make me change my mind. I want you, Lucy. All of you.”
I scoff at the irony. If he only knew, he wouldn’t be making such declarations. He thinks I’m talking about the scars of my flesh, but my transgressions run far deeper.
“Don’t say things you don’t mean, Enzo. Remember what we said, this is temporary.”
Enzo’s dark eyes radiate pain like a beacon in the night. He shakes his head but he doesn’t say anything as he stands. “Come on, baby. Let’s get you in bed.”
He pulls me with intertwined fingers to the edge of the bed, shifting back the duvet cover and motioning me under. Covering me, he leans down, placing a soft kiss to my lips. When he pulls away, his longing gaze pins me to the bed. “You’ll never be temporary, Lucy. Not for me.”
He walks out of my room and my mind becomes a torrent of what ifs. What if I was someone else? What if I told them the truth? What if there’s a way our story doesn’t end in tragedy?
I clench my fists, nails creating half-moons in my palms as I do my best to hold myself together as his words tear me apart.