Chapter 32
Itried to tell myself to stop obsessing over her.
Fortunately, I don’t listen to idiots so here I am…
obsessing and not giving a damn. She’s snuggled in my arms, curled against my side, her head laying on my chest as I trace my fingers along her back.
The rough cotton barrier stands as a reminder she won’t let me see her, feel her.
The thought of who put her scars there and how she got them makes me see red.
As soon as we were finished in the rage room, I rushed her back here to my bed, where she belongs.
If I would’ve known she was a virgin, I would have done everything different. I massage the thigh she has swung over my hips, my feeble attempt to soothe the fact she lost her V-card in a fucking rage room.
“I can’t believe I lost my virginity.” Her fingers play with my gold chain, running between the metal and my skin.
“I have to ask, how has a woman like you not been fucked into oblivion yet?”
Her little scoff tells me it’s not an absurd idea, but she’s wrong. It’s an anomaly. The woman’s fucking perfect. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the thought of another man inside her makes me want to go on a murder spree.
“My…father was a bit protective over my virginity.”
“Religious?”
“No, he’s a bit traditional, you could say. He wanted to marry me off and wanted me to be a virgin.”
“I’ll have to thank him when I meet him, not that he should have any say with your body but I’m sure glad as fuck it was me.”
She lets out a somber hum I don’t fucking like at all. “Hey, look at me.” I tilt her chin up, forcing those blazing, ever changing irises back to me. “Do you regret it?”
Her head immediately shakes. “No. I just…I’m happy, Enzo.”
“Then why do you sound so sad?”
She shifts. “Because I don’t know how to sound happy.”
“I can change that.”
She pops up on her elbow, resting her chin on my sternum. “Are you ever going to show me your list?”
I shrug. “Maybe one day. But not today, baby.”
Her cute little huff makes me chuckle as she collapses back onto me, continuing to fiddle with my chain.
“Well, can you at least tell me something off your list, things you want to do?”
“I only have one thing on my to do list.”
“And…”
“Kill the Belaya Sova.”
She freezes momentarily, the chain dropping against my collarbone. Her reaction’s a bit odd, maybe she’s heard of her though. Especially if she’s done any research regarding our family. “Who is she?”
“A ruthless assassin the Romanovas use to protect and serve their next heir. A pretty fucking sick tradition if you ask me.” Venom leaks from my lips but I couldn’t control it if I tried. It’s a natural fucking reaction when I think of her.
“You hate her.”
“She killed the only woman I have ever loved, Lucy. How could I feel anything except hate for her?”
She’s quiet for a few moments and I wonder if my brutal confession has scared her. But I won’t lie to her.
Time seems to slow as the sound of my heart fills my ears, pounding against my eardrums. When I think she’s asleep, she finally speaks, “Your mom was a White Owl, wasn’t she?”
“She was. I see you’ve researched a bit about our family.” One can’t simply google search our family history, especially anything to do with the White Owls, but if you talk to the right people, rumors run rampant.
“Of course, I couldn’t walk into the House of the Devils blind.”
“Smart girl.” I shift, letting our bodies face each other so I can watch her lips as she talks. I’m in love with the way they move when she speaks.
“How did she come to be with your father?”
Lucy’s words from earlier come back to me. How can I expect her to trust us if I don’t trust her? I know I can trust her with our plans regarding Dante. Nova told me of her hatred for our father and if Nova believed her, I do also.
But trusting someone with the pieces of myself I hold tight, pieces of my mother… It’s raw and I fucking hate how it feels.
Before I can contemplate it further, I begin speaking, letting what will come out flow. “Our mother, Victoria, was the sister of Alexey Romanova, the Pakhan of the Russian mafia based out of New York. She was trained as an Owl.”
Lucy’s silent as she watches my lips, and my fingertips find her leg, running up and down against her smooth skin. Touching her calms my mind, like cutting the oxygen off from a fire, it slowly dissipates inside of me.
“One day, she was sent to kill Dimitri and Dante Alessi. Our father had betrayed Alexey in some deal gone wrong and Alexey wanted revenge. But Dimitri had captured her. He held her hostage, but then they fell in love.”
“It’s like a fairy tale,” she whispers.
“Your mind’s fucked if you think any of what I said is a fairy tale.
It was the beginning of a tragedy. She left Alexey, abandoning her duties and Dimitri had promised to protect her.
A few years after they wed, Dante grew jealous of what his brother had.
One night, they all got drunk, Dante went too far, forcing himself on my mother.
Dimitri was…” My tongue runs over my teeth, and I break eye contact.
I don’t want her to be exposed to my dark side more than I’ve already blanketed her in it.
“Well, he was like me, the hound. The one who took more bullets, the ones whose bones had seen more breaks. He was worn down, and this particular night had been recovering from a particularly brutal beating. Dante knew it, and he used it to his advantage and Dimitri couldn’t fight my father off. ”
I seek out her calm, her irresistible presence infiltrating my system.
Mamma told me of the brawl that killed my uncle.
As a kid who idolized my brother, I couldn’t understand how Father could kill his own twin.
I always thought maybe as an adult, I might understand it more.
But I never could. Never would. Rafael is not only my brother, but also a part of my soul, intertwined and braided into the fabric of who I am.
No one could come between us.
“I’ll never know if Dante killed Dimitri on purpose or if it was a simple slip of his blade while they were rolling around.
I’ve had moments with Raf where I’ve been so fucking pissed, we’ve gone some rounds, but I could never…
” My voice cracks, overflowing with emotion.
I clear my throat, hoping she didn’t notice but the way the ends of her eyelids pull down tells me she did.
“I couldn’t live without the fucker. It goes to show how fucking cruel our father was and is. ”
Tears make her stunning irises glint like glass. “He raped her, didn’t he? That’s why he’s your father and not Dimitri.”
“Rafael and I are the product of her misery.”
“I’m so sorry, Enzo.” Her tears fall and I wipe them away.
“She endured eighteen years at the mercy of Dante’s cruel hands, all to raise us.”
She clutches my wrist like it's a lifeline, her fingers unable to wrap around it. “Do you believe in history repeating itself?”
“What? You think they’ll send in their Owl for Rafael and I?”
She shrugs. “If Alexey is still seeking revenge, he might.”
“You don’t have to worry about some sova bitch coming in and taking me from you, baby. I could never love the woman who stole my mother from me.”
Lucy nods, accepting my words, but I notice a strange darkness now staining our space.
“Thank you for telling me the truth, Enzo,” she whispers, twisting away and I pull her into me, soaking in her warmth like a stray animal let in the house for the first time.
“I’ll never lie to you, Lucy. You mean too much to me.” I place a kiss against her neck. “I’ll meet you in my dreams”
“I’ll be waiting in your nightmares, Enzo Baby.”