Chapter 40 Katya
Ilay between the twins, each bracketing me like two overgrown gargoyles protecting what’s theirs.
They think I’m in a deep sleep but I’m merely waiting until they both pass out.
The skills I’ve learned as an assassin have relaxed while I was Lucy, but it doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten them.
And tonight, they will come back full force.
“What she did tonight was stupid,” Enzo says.
“It was instinct.”
There’s a brief pause and I can imagine the clench of Rafael’s jaw as he tries to solve the puzzle of Lucy and Katya, what our story is. But he doesn’t have all the pieces...not yet.
“She’s hiding something from us, Enzo.”
“She’s covered in scars, Rafael. She has a story she’s not ready to tell. Give her time. Don’t push her away yet.”
“Says the man who called her stupid and reprimanded her like a child.”
A finger, Enzo’s based on the direction it’s coming from, runs down my sternum then down my stomach, but he respects my boundaries, keeping the cotton of my shirt as a barrier between us. “She was fucking stupid.”
“Do you believe she’ll stay?” Rafael asks his brother, and there’s something in his tone, a cautious longing pulling at the shreds of my soul, taping them together piece by piece. “Father will come for her if he knows you are in love with her.”
Love? Did I hear him right? He must have misspoken. But as their conversation continues, he doesn’t deny the words.
“You’re as wrapped around her finger as I am. Only difference is I don’t give two flying fucks who knows it,” Enzo says it with an air of confidence.
He still doesn't deny it.
“You and I have different roles in this world, Enzo. I’m not able to freely be with anyone I choose. I’m destined for an arranged marriage to strengthen any alliance Father or I desire. You know this.”
And there it is.
Ilya was right. Rafael and Enzo might not be the worst monsters I’ve faced, but it doesn’t make them angels. Just like other men who have fallen before me, they are still taking the life of an innocent woman.
Owning her.
But it can’t be the whole story.
“You don’t have to do shit; you choose to bend to Father’s commands.”
“Sacrifices I make to claim what we have always desired, that is where we differ, Enzo.” His voice comes out strained, a reality he’s accepted.
Sacrifices he’s making to get what they’ve always desired? An heir, the empire.
I stir, breaking up their conversation, my stomach twisting. I can’t listen anymore as Raf confirms my worst fears. Was Ilya right? Would Rafael sacrifice the life of an innocent woman for the sake of gaining power?
Rafael’s fingers brush down my jaw, tucking a strand of hair away from my face. “Let’s go to bed, Fratellino. We will deal with today’s problems, tomorrow.”
Enzo simply grunts, scooting down the bed, his large arm encircling my waist as he pulls me into him.
Even though I can’t see him, I can feel Raf next to me. I know he’s facing me, studying my features as Enzo’s breath tickles the hair at the base of my neck, slowly evening out as minutes pass.
When I hear Rafael’s breathing even out and soften, I peek an eye open, both men sound asleep on either side of me. Now for the hard part, extracting myself from Enzo and slipping from the room.
When I roll to my back, Enzo stirs once, and I freeze.
The entire extract-Katya-from-two-devils operation takes a solid ten minutes but soon enough I’m tiptoeing across the room and into the bathroom, retrieving my twin blades.
The oxygen leaves my lungs when I unsheathe them, reading the inscription.
Fatally mine and irrevocably loved.
A reminder from Ilya. But now a stone-cold revelation of how I feel when I’m with Enzo and Rafael.
They may hate me for what I’m about to do. But they could never hate me more than I despise myself.
I slip back into Raf’s room with my twin blades grasped firmly in my trembling palms. My heart beats erratically as I war over my decision. But it’s the only way. These men are about to see every part of who Katya Romanova and Lucy Sinclair are.
The part of me they’ve hunted.
The part of me they’ve cared for.
What they do tonight will determine their fate. If they let me tell my truth, if they listen then maybe there's a chance for us in this fucked up world. But if they don't, if they choose revenge over whatever we've built, I'll have a choice to make. Me or them.
I climb onto the bed, straddling Enzo’s hips and as I lower my weight over his muscled body, my blades hover over their carotid arteries.
Do it, Doch’.
Do. It!
My hands tremble and a scream rips from my chest as I press the steel against their flesh. Rafael’s eyelids snap open first, fury bleeding into confusion when he takes in my position over his brother and my steel pressed to his skin. “Lucy?”
He holds my focus as Enzo snatches my wrist, pressing my blade harder into his throat. “What’s going on, baby? You wanna play?” His smirk makes my heart sink, but when I let out a sob, tears running down my face, they both realize something’s wrong.
"I need you to listen to me." Their bodies tense beneath me. Concern and worry laced in their eyes.
I allow myself to admire the two men beneath me, allow myself to take in the feeling of their love one more time before everything changes.
Before worry turns into betrayal. The excruciating, mind numbing pain sends shocks down my arms, making my entire body shake, my muscles tightening to the point I can’t breathe.
Raf eyes the white leather-wrapped handle of the blade I have pressed against his brother’s throat and he goes stone cold.
A numbness morphs his features into the Rafael I met three years ago and he slowly lifts his bewildered stare to meet mine.
I see it moments before I feel it inside my soul.
An ache so deep it's paralyzing. He’s going to let me burn.
“Katya.” Rafael whispers.
“I’m—”
Before I can finish my thought, Enzo’s grip closes around my throat, cutting off not only my words but my breath. He shifts up with an undeniable force and I drop the blade against Raf’s neck and grab onto his wrist. In one swift motion, he lifts me up and slams me against the bed.
My blade still digs into his skin, a trickle of blood dripping onto my cheek as he hovers over me.
“Let me see your eyes, Bayla Sova,” he growls.
My mouth pops open and closed again, but I can’t breathe, I can’t speak, I can’t fucking think.
“Enzo.” Rafael twirls my blade in his fingers as he calls back his brother. “She cannot speak.”
When his grip loosens a fraction, I pull in air, my lungs burning but I fight through it.
Enzo’s beast paces, and I’m a caged bird, but there’s still something behind all this brokenness, a lingering hope, maybe?
Something screams at me, he’s still with you.
Even if his brother has figured it out, there is a piece of Enzo who doubts his twin.
I need to hold onto that piece of him, harness it and make him listen.
I’m not capable of killing them, but there could still be a chance they will spare me if they knew the truth. “Enzo Baby, please.”
“Don’t call me that! Show me!”
My eyelids fall closed in defeat, pausing before I reveal myself fully. “Enzo—”
“Show me!”
I remove my contacts and blink the tears away as my gaze collides with his.
And I completely lose him