Chapter Six #2
I match the way she sits, elbows to our knees, left hand supporting our chins.
“Is she okay?” Mom croaks, then clears her throat. She was talking about Nan, her mother.
I shake my head, sarcasm crawling across my face. “Funny that, she asked the same thing, Mom.”
When Mom doesn’t reply, I snap my gaze to her matching pale green orbs. “Why don’t you just talk to her? She’s so worried about you.”
Mom exhales, then runs her fingers through her tangled lilac-toned hair. It sits wispy and uneven around her bony chest.
“It’s always the same thing, Laik, you don’t—”
I cut her off, “Because she fucking cares about you, Mom. We all do.”
My mother scoffs, then curls her right hand beneath the fabric on her left arm, scratching at her wrist. “Don’t swear, Laik.”
I push from the step and find that same pot plant I’d tripped over earlier, reeling my foot back and kicking it again.
Anger and confusion swirl through me.
“Why, Mom? Why are you doing this!?” I ask, voice heightened, arms wide.
A tear rolls down my mother’s cadaverous cheek and drops off the ledge of her chin. She pushes it away on the fabric at her bicep, leaving a wet trail of salty pain behind.
“I lost my best friend, baby.” Another tear, another swipe. “One day, when you meet that one person that sets your entire soul on fire, you’ll understand.”
I pause for a moment, trying to process sensibly what she’d really said.
I lost my best friend. And it breaks my goddamn heart.
Sympathy and softness replace the confusion and rage swimming through me and I exhale, falling back down beside her.
Mom reaches out, lacing her bony, trembling and freezing cold fingers with mine.
“Look at me, Laiken,” she whispers, and I turn, my glassy eyes searching hers. “If you love someone, don’t ever let them stop talking, don’t ever stop fighting for them.”
One rogue tear rolls down my cheek, and she catches it with her free hand, palming it away. “Fight for them if they can’t fight for themselves.”
The sound of dirt shuffling to our side has my mother slipping her hand from mine, pushing to her feet.
She steps off the cinder block ledge and meets Jade with a one arm hug and forced smile.
I watch them chat and the sorrow in Jade’s eyes is obvious.
I can tell she’s trying hard to hide it when my mother wipes the leftover tears from her eyes with the back of her hand mid conversation.
The sun has given way to the darkness, spotted light coming from the other trailers, the only illumination now. Though a set of headlights moves toward us, the rumble of an engine I know well, vibrating louder as it rolls closer.
The flick of high beams has me shielding my eyes, then sticking my middle finger high in the air.
A hand clasps around it, my mother pulling it away. Jade laughs beside us. “Don’t worry, it’s just Chase,” she states.
I watch my mother visibly deflate, her hand slipping from the hold she had around my finger.
“S-s-sorry,” she stutters, not looking at me.
I try not to shiver.
I’m still sitting down. Jade and Mom are standing beside me as we watch Chase and Harlen step out of Chase’s red truck, both doors slamming behind them. They are laughing, and I’m palming my ponytail when Chase races toward me.
I jump to my feet with a squeal, and attempt hiding behind Mom, my hands on her shoulders. Mom chuckles and it's the first real laugh I’ve heard from her in a long time.
It stirs something warm inside my chest.
Chase stops in front of Mom. “Mrs. Campbell,” he says, opening his arms for a hug.
And Mom accepts it, her small chin sitting over his shoulder as she rubs over his back.
“Gosh, you make me feel old, Chase,” she tells him with a laugh.
“Only young and beautiful,” he says, and I watch Mom’s cheeks flush pink.
They’re still hugging, though Chase’s eyes are locked on mine, and I grin, flipping him off again. He is quick to mouth the word “brat.”
And I smile wider.
He’s laughing when he pulls back from Mom, who turns to see my finger still in the air. She tries to reach for it again, this time though, not out of fear, out of manners, but me and Chase were far past being polite.
Chase gives her his full attention when they sink into conversation, and I’ve always loved that about him, the time he gives my Mom. He knows everything, and without judgment, he treats her the same way he had before we lost Dad, before she started using.
Harlen claps his hands together. “We thought we’d head to Devil’s Diner and grab some food before we go.”
Jade holds up the casserole dish Nan brought over earlier. “How about pasta bake?”
Chase snorts, shoving a hand through his hair. “Not if you made it.” He walks over to her, and roughs up the dark hair she’d finished styling earlier.
“You asshole!” she scolds, taking a swing at him with her foot. She catches him on the shin, and he doesn’t flinch, instead he steps back in, his large hand wrapping around the handle of the pot's lid, opening it. He shoves his nose into the center, taking a whiff of its contents.
“Fuck, that smells unreal,” he confirms.
Mom moves for the door. “I’ll get some plates.” She disappears into the house and the four of us begin walking toward the back of the trailer.
Chase falls into line next to me, nudging my arm with his elbow.
“She looks okay,” he says.
I snap my gaze toward him, and he does the same, running his thumb across his bottom lip, his dark eyes widening.
Jade and Harlen’s laughs circle ahead of us.
“And you’re a liar,” I scoff.
He pinches his lip. “I said okay, I didn’t say good.”
I hum beneath my breath, dropping my chin to my chest, my eyes latching onto my bare toes as they brush over the dirt before sinking into the rough, dead grass.
“I don’t know how much longer I can watch her destroy herself like this,” I admit.
“You love her, right?” His reply is instant.
My eyes snap to him. “What kind of question is—”
Chase talks over me, “Then as long as she needs, Laik. Be there for her.”
The tension between us is thick when I step ahead of him, spinning to walk backward. “I am, every damn day, Chase.” An annoyed hiss seeps from between my teeth, my eyes trail him from head to toe, feel my head shaking in disbelief. “You just don’t fucking get it.”
I spin around, jogging to catch up with Harlen and Jade, leaving Chase behind.
I wasn’t doing this tonight; my mother’s addiction had already taken enough joy from me. I didn’t need the added lecture.
When I’ve reached Harlen and Jade and laced my hand with my best friend's, I peek over my shoulder—even though I force myself not to—to see Chase’s chin to his chest, his hands through his hair and his foot kicking a rock away.