Chapter 16
save your breath
MIA
September, Now
After Dominic stormed out, I couldn’t find it in me to follow him. I put on pjs and sat on the edge of the tub. The gravity of the situation has me pinned to the spot, my thoughts chaotic and messy.
What the hell do I even say to him?
Would he even listen to me if I tried to explain?
I haven’t told a soul we hooked up last year, not even Chia. I gave her some bullshit excuse and flew back to Phoenix first thing the next morning, begging her and my dad not to tell anyone I’d been in Monterey.
But now that I’m back in town, the dynamic between Dominic and me has shifted. I’m not a silly little girl with a crush anymore. The chemistry is mutual. He looks at me like I’m a woman, like I’m beautiful, even if he pretends to be unaffected.
Regardless, I’ve been resolute about my decision to hide the truth.
Nothing would ever come of it, I told myself, continuing to act as if I didn’t know what it felt like to have his mouth on me, his hands on me, his cock inside me.
I packed those memories into a box and stored it away in the back of my mind, determined to never open it again.
It was naive of me, that’s clear now. Since the day I returned to Monterey five weeks ago, Dominic Watson has starred in all my dreams, and no matter how hard I try to focus on anyone else, anything else, it’s impossible.
He’s my one real sexual fantasy—a very, very forbidden fantasy.
And now that he knows my secret, I don’t know how to act around him, or how I even feel about the situation—
A door slams downstairs, ripping me out of my thoughts. I should put it all out of my mind and go to bed. I have a very busy day tomorrow. Overthinking and running through all the ways this might play out won’t help. I can’t control his thoughts. All I can do is focus on myself.
When and if he’s ready to listen to me, I’ll talk to him.
Once in my room, I turn off the light and climb under my comforter. I lie on my back, staring at the ceiling, my mind racing. I’ve kept this to myself for almost an entire year, only for him to recognize my tattoo and put two and two together in the blink of an eye.
The tiniest spark of hope ignites inside me, even while I’m overwhelmed with dread. Because if he recognized it that quickly, I can’t help but wonder if he’s been thinking about that night as much as I have.
I huff out a breath. It’s time to push those thoughts from my mind. I won’t let this make me spiral out of control.
I’ve just plucked my Kindle off my nightstand when a series of sharp knocks startles me.
Heart thudding, I climb out of bed and pad to the door. My hand trembles as I grasp the knob, but I stand tall. In the hallway, Dominic looms, his jaw tight, his chest rising and falling fast. His focus is fixed on me, the glint in his eyes dark and stormy.
I lick my lips and swallow past the lump in my throat. “Why are you here?”
Without a word, he pushes into my room. When he closes the door, it’s like all the oxygen has been sucked from the space. My heart beats violently against my rib cage, and blood roars in my ears.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, voice low and gruff.
I grip my biceps, tightening my hold on myself. “Would it have changed anything?”
Nostrils flaring, he looks away and stuffs his hands into his pockets. Like this, so tall, his expression dark, he’s intimidating. I take the tiniest step away, my self-preservation instincts kicking in.
It’s a mistake, because his gaze instantly snaps to me. He chews on his cheek, rocking back and forth on his heels.
“How did you even get there? You were in Phoenix. You never visited, never—”
“Except last Halloween. The day after my eighteenth birthday, I flew home. Wanted to surprise my mom and Matt.” I explain how I ended up at the party, and when I reach the part when he approached me at Romero’s house, I fall silent.
He clenches his jaw, eyeing me from under furrowed brows. “Did you know it was me when we went upstairs?”
I shake my head. “I hadn’t seen you in years. It was dark and loud, and I was drinking. I didn’t recognize you.”
“How did you find out?”
Nerves dance up my spine. “Because of Matt. After…” My eyes dart away, but I force myself to focus on him again.
“When we came downstairs, he was waiting for you with his mask off.” I exhale sharply.
“So I took off. But even then, I thought it was just a stupid coincidence I’d hooked up with his friend, but then he called you by your last name, and you took off the mask… ”
I press my lips together. He doesn’t speak, and he doesn’t look away, clearly waiting for me to finish.
“It was the final nail in my coffin, so I bolted. I found Chiara, went back to the hotel, got online, and changed my departure date. I flew back the next morning. I didn’t tell her why I left, but she promised she wouldn’t tell anyone I was in Monterey. My dad kept it to himself too.”
Dominic paces to the window, roughing a hand over his buzzed head. The air in the room thickens, the tension between us pulling taut.
Without looking away, I shuffle closer to my bed. I remain silent, giving him time to process. It wasn’t easy for me to come to terms with what we’d done, so I can imagine it won’t be easy for him either, but the frantic way he moves is concerning.
Suddenly, he stops and whips around. “Why did you hide it? You could’ve said something when you moved home.”
“Are you for real?” I snort. “Can you imagine that conversation? ‘Hey, Dom, remember the girl dressed as Alice from that Halloween party last year? The one you fucked on the washing machine at Romero’s house? Well, it was me.’” I tilt my head, scoffing. “Yeah, that would’ve gone over so well.”
In two strides, he’s in front of me. I don’t move, and I don’t look away, but my breath hitches. He zeroes in on my parted lips, and instantly, I’m drowning. Being the subject of his attention like this is intoxicating.
“I’ve spent almost a year thinking about that night,” he tells me.
My heart gallops. “Me too.”
He lifts his hand like he’s going to touch my face, but he stops himself an inch from my cheek. His fingers tremble, heat radiating from his palm. The fluttery feeling in my stomach means only one thing: the butterflies are back.
“Almost a year thinking about her…” His voice cracks. “About you…”
“Me too,” I confess in a whisper.
He drops his hand, and my heart sinks with it.
Just when I’m certain he’s going to step back and walk away, he shocks the hell out of me by angling in.
His lips hover over mine, and on pure instinct, I sway toward him too.
I shudder when his hot breath ghosts over my skin.
He cups the back of my neck and threads his fingers through my hair, tilting my head up.
My pulse races, my body flooding with need, but rather than press his lips to mine, he backs away. Hands balled into fists, he frowns. “I can’t…We can’t.”
“Why not?” I ask.
He studies me silently, branding me with his gaze. Then, he turns on his heel and storms out. The door slams shut, and the air, once full of electricity, feels dull and cold. My heart clenches painfully as I stumble to my bed and hide under my comforter once again.
I barely slept. All night, my mind worked overtime, coming up with all kinds of scenarios and what-ifs. Each dream was more vivid than the last, making it hard to believe they weren’t real.
Two questions swirl inside my head, getting louder and louder. What would’ve happened if he hadn’t pulled away? What if I’d kissed him first?
Shaking the thoughts from my mind, I step out into the hall, heading for the bathroom. When the door next to mine opens, I spin around, nerves skittering through me as I prepare to come face-to-face with Dominic.
Instead, I’m greeted by a pair of dark brown eyes, not hazel. Red hair, not blond.
The Butcher.
Remi.
She’s wearing a white tee that falls to mid-thigh, her legs bare. Her hair is messy, her makeup smudged, her lips curled up in a sinister grin.
“Sorry, I heard footsteps and thought it was Dom.”
My body goes numb. “Sorry to disappoint.”
She assesses me, head tilted to the side. “You didn’t disappoint me. Quite the contrary.”
“Good to know.” I slip past her, my jaw clenched.
As I reach the bathroom door, a noise down the hall catches my attention. There he is, at the top of the stairs, carrying two steaming mugs of coffee. He’s shirtless, and his black sweatpants hang low on his hips.
When he sees me, he pulls up short, his features darkening. His eyes dart to Remi and then land on me again, his lips parting as if he wants to say something.
“Mia,” he whispers.
“Save your breath.” I step into the bathroom and close the door in his face.
He told me he’d been thinking about our hookup, about me, for the past year. He almost kissed me last night, only to run away and fall into bed with his ex in the room next to mine?
It’s certainly a choice, and I want nothing to do with it.
I rest my head against the booth and focus on breathing deeply. I want to be in my room. I should be finishing the essay due this week. And I desperately need a few more hours of sleep.
“Yay!” Chia squeals across from me.
I snap up straight and eye her. “What?”
“I was looking for this.” She sets her phone on the table so Jeff and I can see the invite.
“A pink party?” Jeff asks from beside me.
“Yes,” she chirps. “The Cove throws a color-themed party every year, and from what I’ve heard, it’s epic. We should go.”
“You’re saying it’s time to break out the fake IDs?” Jeff smirks. “I’ll talk to Tessa tonight. If she—”
“She already said yes.” Chia grins wickedly.
With a sigh, he drapes his arm over my shoulder and peers down at me. “Guess we don’t have a choice, firecracker.”
“Seems so, stud.” I shrug.
Chia launches into a story her cousin told her about last year’s party. I listen absentmindedly; my brain is too fried from lack of sleep. And Dominic. And his ex.
“When is this party?” I finally ask.
“On Friday,” Chia says.
“Does Matt usually go to these things?”
She nods, cringing. “Yeah. Dominic and Miles too. And a few other guys from the foot—”
I stand, and she falls silent. She watches me warily as I gather my things and pull my leather jacket on. “I don’t have anything pink in my closet. Looks like I have some shopping to do.”
“Mind if I tag along?” Chia asks. “I don’t have an outfit either.”
Jeff slides toward the edge of the booth. “Have fun. I’m gonna drop by Tessa’s room and check on her.”
We say our goodbyes, and Jeff heads to the restroom while Chia and I head to the door. As I approach, it opens abruptly, and I come face-to-face with Dominic, Miles and Remi behind him.
His expression is feverish, desperate, the weight of his attention like an anvil on my chest, making it hard to breathe.
Stop this, I tell myself. He can be my stepbrother. He can be my brother’s best friend. What he can’t be is the object of my desire.
Nothing would come of it; that’s the only axiom that stands true.
“Excuse me,” I mutter, pushing forward.
He steps back silently, and I strut down the street without looking back.
“Do you want to talk about what just happened?” Chia asks.
I shake my head, swallowing the rage clawing its way up my throat.