Chapter 29 #2
“Thanks, Cindy.” The doctor moves out of her way as she begins moving things from the room. “The test results all say you’re doing great, but how do you feel?”
“A little tired still, and foggy. My memory isn’t all there. Like I remember most of it, but there’s some spots missing.”
“Yes, that’s the ketamine. It can disrupt your recall for a while.
You may remember or you may not those missing files given time.
You were given twice the dose a woman your size should take, which is why you’ve been sleeping for so long.
I would expect some of the lingering side effects to be around for at least a few days, if not more.
” He looks to Rurik. “She’s going to be fine. ”
“She’s fine now,” I say, sitting up straighter and fluffing the comforter.
The doctor smiles. “Give me a call if anything changes.”
Rurik’s jaw tenses as he gets up from the bed and follows the doctor out of the room. I’m only given a moment of peace before he barges back inside, slamming the door behind him .
“Tell me Max is going to be all right.” I stop him in his tracks as he heads toward me.
He straightens up. “He is. Max is a strong bastard. He got lucky. The bullet missed his aorta, but it went through his lung. It’s a long road still for him, and he might still lose part of his lung, but he’ll live.”
I let out a long breath. “I was so scared for him. There was so much blood. I thought for sure…for sure…” Tears that I’ve managed to hold back since Mario and his stupid brothers jumped out of that SUV have finally beaten me. Fat, hot tears roll down my cheeks, and a deep sob breaks loose.
Rurik sinks onto the bed, pulls me into his lap, and wraps his arms around me.
“I’m sorry. So sorry,” he grumbles into my neck.
“You shouldn’t be sorry, it’s me. I brought so much craziness to your life. Max got shot because of me.”
“He got shot because it’s his job to get shot instead of you.” His fingers slide up into my hair and cupping my head while I continue to make a mess all over his shirt with my tears.
For long minutes, he just holds me, stroking my back and rocking me until every tear is shed and my breathing finally evens out.
“Mira, I have to ask you something.” He tucks me beneath his chin. “Did any of them hurt you other than the bruise on your cheek?”
I know what he’s asking.
“No.” I ease away from him, wiping my eyes. “Mario tried to, I think he wanted to, but he couldn’t…like actually couldn’t. That’s when he really hit me.”
I touch my cheek. It’s still swollen, and even light pressure is enough to make it hurt.
“The other two?”
“No. He got mad when he couldn’t get it up. He had them give me another shot then they all left me in the in dark. I didn’t see them again until just before you got there.”
“I have to ask you another question.” His body tenses.
“What?” I search his face for a hint, but he’s gone stone on me.
“Detective Calloway.”
“Oh.” I slip off his lap.
He holds his hands out like I’m a toddler about to fall over after my first steps. A little shaky at first, but after a moment I get my bearings, and I’m steady.
“Megan told you?” I can’t fault her. She was probably terrified when I went missing.
“She thought maybe he had something to do with your abduction at first,” he explains. “He didn’t.”
“No.” I sink into an armchair. “He didn’t.”
I tug the hem of my nightshirt down over my knees, tucking my feet onto the chair with me. “I’m sorry.”
“Tell me what you’re sorry for,” he presses, still not moving from the bed.
“I thought if I could get his help, if I could get Marco put away then…” I sigh. “It sounds so stupid now that I say it out loud. So naive. ”
“What did you tell him? On the phone, when you talked to him, what did you say?”
“Nothing.” I drag my hand through my hair. “I was going to offer to meet with Marco, to lure him to a meeting. But we hadn’t planned anything yet.”
His eyebrow raises, and he draws in a deep breath. He’s trying, I’ll give him that much.
“It was a stupid idea. Dangerous, and the only excuse I have is I wanted to protect you. I wanted Alexander to be able to end the war with the DeAngelos so everything could go back to what it was before.”
His gaze settles on me. There’s a heaviness to it that wasn’t there before. It makes me wiggle in my seat, because I don’t know if he’s going to get up and walk out or if he’s going to devour me whole.
But for the first time I can truly admit to myself which one I want to happen.
More than anything, I want him to stay. To yell at me for being so reckless. To punish me for being so disobedient.
To love me because he can’t help it any more than I can stop my heart from beating for him.
“Can I tell you something else?” I ask softly when the silence tightens around my throat.
“Go on.” His voice dips. We’re in dangerous territory.
“When I was there, in that horrible place with those insane men…I wasn’t afraid.” I slide my feet back to the floor. “I knew you’d find me. It was completely illogical to believe that, considering where I was and how I’d gotten there, but I just knew. ”
“Of course I would find you,” he says dryly.
“For the first time, in pretty much ever for me, I knew trusting you was safe. That you weren’t going to let me down. That I could believe myself when it came to you. Because you’d hadn’t told me you loved me to get anything from me.
“You didn’t tell me you loved me at all.” I swallow when my throat dries. “You just showed me. And I love you, Rurik. Real love, the sort that makes you unsure if you can breathe if the other person isn’t nearby. That sort of love.”
I heave a breath, feeling slightly lighter after having shoved off that boulder of a confession.
It’s silent in the room. When I swallow again, the sound of it fills my ears.
His gaze doesn’t move. Nothing does. He’s a statue.
After another moment passes, he pushes off the bed and gets to his feet. I straighten in the chair.
He blinks. Wipes his hand across his mouth and then turns on his heel.
The wall shakes when he slams the door.