Chapter 25
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Nolen
I couldn't, for a second, believe what just came out of Vanessa's mouth. I mean I had hoped she had a dirty mind but it was one thing to think it and another to hear it.
Actually hearing it was worse because now here I was sitting on the chair with a raging hard-on and nothing to do with it. She was still healing from broken ribs. I couldn't possibly act on the things she had mentioned.
"That's not fair," I told her with a hitch in my tone.
"Why's that?" To make things worse, she squirmed in her chair. Clearly turned on by what she had to say and just waiting for me to relieve her.
"Because I can't do any of that without hurting your ribs." Was that a whine in my voice? It sure sounded like it.
The look Vanessa gave me was full of frustration. Whether it was sexual frustration or frustration over my answer, I would never know, because I didn't want to ask.
"Did anyone ever tell you that you're too much of a good guy?"
Probably but I couldn't for the life of me think of any examples at the moment. All the blood in my body was too busy rushing to my dick to even think straight. I was lucky I had enough sense not to throw her over my shoulder and march upstairs to her bedroom.
Thankfully I was saved by the bell.
Literally. The bell on my phone, alerting me of someone outside of Vanessa's house went off.
"Hold that thought."
It was probably one of my co-workers again. If I had to guess, Hendrix. The man had excellent timing. Only this time, I was glad for the cockblock. It saved me from doing something I would regret.
I waited for the doorbell to ring on my way over to the front door, but it never came.
That's weird.
Surely by now, whoever tripped the alarm would've made it to the front door and made themselves known.
I glanced through the peephole and expected to find someone standing on the other side, but there was no one.
"What's wrong?" I turned around to find Vanessa standing just a few feet behind me with a worried look on her face.
"There's no one there."
"Maybe an animal set it off." She shrugged like it was no big deal, but my gut was saying something was wrong, so I slipped my gun out of the holster and held it out in front of me.
"Do me a favor and wait for me in the living room." It wasn't a question but more of a demand.
"Okay." Vanessa didn't argue, and I would forever be thankful for that. She understood how serious everything was.
Slowly opening the door, I did a sweep side to side but found nothing in my direct line of sight. However something low caught my attention. I cursed when I glanced down and saw what it was.
Grabbing the vase of dead flowers, I brought it back inside and made my way to where Vanessa sat on the couch in the living room.
"What's that?" Vanessa scrunched up her nose at the little gift.
"My guess is another warning." And that pissed me off. I was getting sick of whoever this fucker was.
"What the hell?" I couldn't agree more with her sentiment.
"I need to look at the cameras to see what they caught."
I grabbed my laptop from where it sat on the coffee table and logged into the security system software that our company used. It didn't take me long to rewind the live footage and find the individual who snuck onto the porch to drop off the deranged present.
"Most of his fucking face is covered." I growled and was tempted to snap the lid shut on my laptop. That's how pissed I was.
"Wait, let me see that again." I turned it so Vanessa could get a good look. "Can you freeze it on the actual face for me?"
I did as she asked but couldn't understand why. There was no way to get an identity with the little bit that we could see. Even though something deep in the recesses of my brain was saying that the small part I could see was familiar.
"That's him."
"Who?" I practically jumped on her words.
"That's the guy who has been blackmailing me."
I took another good look at his face. "Are you sure? You can barely see his face."
"I'm positive because every time we met, he would cover his face in the shadows. It's only the profile he ever showed me."
Excitement coursed through my blood. Finally we had something to work with. I couldn't wait to put my skills to work and figure out who this fucker was.
"What are you doing?" Vanessa asked when I hunched over and started to get to work.
"Running this asshole through every database I can get my hands on. Now that I have something to work with, nothing is going to stop me from finding him."
"Is that something that can run on its own, or do you need to be here staring at the computer to do it?"
I didn't even bother to look up when I answered her, "It can run on its own, but I want to watch as the programs work."
"Uh, no." Vanessa put her hand on the top of my laptop like she was going to close the damn thing again.
I was able to stop her as my eyes swung up to meet hers. "What are you doing?"
"You said it can run on its own, correct?"
"Well, yeah, but I would prefer to watch." I was looking at her like she had ten heads. I couldn't understand what she was getting at. This was too important for me to not be here.
"And I would prefer you come upstairs with me and fulfill at least a little part of what I told you in the kitchen."
Now I was just downright confused. "What are you talking about?"
Vanessa huffed like I was the one acting strange all of a sudden. "Put the laptop on the coffee table and follow me."
"But…"
"No buts."
I did as she asked but only because the look on her face scared me more than anything else. She looked downright determined, like nothing I said was going to change her mind.
Vanessa took my hand and practically dragged me up the stairs. It wasn't until we entered her bedroom that things started to click into place and our conversation in the kitchen before the alarm went off became forefront in my mind.
"Vanessa, we can't. Your broken ribs. I don't want to hurt you." My sentences were choppy and barely made any sense, but once again all the blood was rushing south, and my mind was taking a backseat.
"Nolen." Vanessa sounded like she was holding on to her patience by a thread. "One of the many things I love about you is the fact that you always put people first, but right now, I'm starting to hate it."
I stumbled to a stop. Did she just say she loved me?
"Did you just say…?" I couldn't even get the word out.
"That I love you? Yes, I did."
"But?" Suddenly I was a stumbling fool who couldn't speak.
"I know it's sudden, and it doesn't make much sense, but neither does my life some days.
I knew the minute I saw you in Valerie's shop that you were different.
I couldn't take my eyes off you, and I wanted to know everything I could.
Unfortunately life got in the way, and instead of acting on my feelings, I was forced to push everything off, but they never wavered.
And having you here has only intensified the maelstrom of emotions. "
I walked straight up to her and cradled her face in my hands.
"You don't have to say anything back. I understand it’s too soon, but I needed you to know how I feel."
"It's not that."
Vanessa covered my hands with her own. "Then tell me what it is."
"I'm too old for you to love me. You have so much going for you in life, and I would just slow you down. You probably want things I can never give you."
Her face softened at my words, and I knew even before she said anything that she wasn't going to make this easy on me.
"Like what things?"
"Kids for one. You're going to want them, and I just can't give that to you. I long ago accepted I would never have them, and I'm okay with that. Better than okay if I'm being honest."
"How about you ask me what I want rather than telling me what you think I want?"
"What do you want?"
Vanessa moved her hands so they were holding my waist. "I just want you. Kids were never something I thought about having. To be honest, I don't need them to have a happy life. Sure, other people my age might, but that was never my dream. Not after raising my sister."
The fight I had in me was slowly starting to crumble.
"And our age difference doesn't bother you?"
Vanessa laughed. "Seriously? It's fifteen years not thirty."
Well, when she put it like that.
"I'm still not having sex with you while your ribs are broken. I refuse to hurt you."
Now Vanessa just looked exasperated. As if to prove her point, she unbuttoned her shirt and let it slip off her arms and fall to the ground, leaving her in just a lacy bra. Then she shimmied out of her sweatpants and kicked them across the room.
Standing in front of me was the most gorgeous woman I had ever seen, and I wanted nothing more than to make her mine in every way possible.
"You're playing with fire," I warned her.
"Then so help me God, burn me."