38. Sam
38
Sam
“ D o you miss gaming?”
Zeke and I were in bed, our limbs tangled. I was making the most of my new healing abilities and Zeke’s seemingly unending stamina. “I mean, sort of. I tend to hyper-fixate on a game, play nothing but that for a few weeks, and then never touch it again.”
Zeke stroked my arm languidly. “Makes sense.”
“Do you miss it?”
“Nah.” Zeke yawned, his jaw cracking. “Most of the appeal was getting to speak to you, to be honest. I was just wondering because some of the unit have this new game they’re playing. I think it’s called Demon Hunters .”
I bolted upright. “Are you serious?”
“You’ve heard of it then?”
“Heard of it?” My voice was alarmingly high, but I couldn’t seem to bring it down. “It’s only the most anticipated release of the year, Zeke. It’s not even out for another few months. How’d they even get hold of it?”
“Not sure. I find it best to not ask too many questions in times like this.”
I laughed. “Aren’t angels supposed to be saintly?”
The gaze Zeke swept over me was anything but. “What on earth gave you that idea?”
I thought back over everything I’d seen and experienced over the past few days. That was a stupid assumption. “Fair one. Fucking love the irony that they’re angels playing a game called Demon Hunters . I can’t believe they have it already, I’m so jealous.”
“That’s easily rectified.” Zeke plucked his phone from his bedside table. “Go to your laptop.”
Intrigued, I made my way to my desk. With the mating bond in place, we’d given up on the pretence of me having my own room and moved my work stuff into here. Zeke had suggested keeping the other room as my office, but I liked to work in my bedroom. It was safe. Comfortable.
And had the added bonus of Zeke more often than not.
I went to wake my laptop, only to find the cursor already darting around the screen. “What the?—?”
“Don’t touch anything,” Zeke said. “They’re installing the game.”
Sure enough, pop-up windows were appearing and vanishing, lines of code being typed in.
Then, the start-up window for Demon Hunters appeared. The squeal of excitement I gave was anything but dignified. My fingers raced over the keys as I set up my profile.
Once that was done, I bounced on my seat as the game loaded before belatedly remembering Zeke. “Um, do you mind if I play this now?”
“Not at all.” Humour rumbled in Zeke’s voice as he came up behind me and kissed my head. “You have fun, baby.”
The chat box popped up alongside the tutorial. There were only two avatars aside from my own, the names making me freeze.
TwatTwin1
TwatTwin2
“What’s wrong?” Zeke’s hand cupped the back of my neck. “Sam?”
I tapped my fingers together. “It’s the twins. They’re the ones playing the game.”
“I know. They wanted to apologise to you face-to-face, but I told them you weren’t ready for that yet.”
“I’m not.”
Zeke spun my chair so I was facing him and crouched until he was eye level with me. “What they did was despicable. You deserved to learn the truth in a safe and controlled way. They fucked up, Sam, but they’re good guys.”
I wanted to believe him, I did. “It’s hard when I can’t stop picturing it.”
I didn’t need to tell him what ‘it’ was. He knew. “Would it help if you saw me do the same thing to Nate? He’d definitely let me.”
Despite myself, I laughed. “What kind of fucked up logic is that? You think me seeing a different version of the same thing would somehow make me less traumatised?”
Zeke shrugged. “Maybe? I mean, you’ve said yourself that your version of logic is different to that of most people. Perhaps seeing me do the same to Nate and then him immediately recovering might put it to bed.”
“I get where you’re coming from, but I’m good.” I patted his cheek. “Words instead of violence, remember?”
“Fine, but I guarantee there will come a day when your brain tells you to stab one of them.”
“I have OCD, Zeke, that’s just a regular Tuesday for me.”
Zeke smiled. “But, as I’ve said before, you don’t need to worry about that now. Stabbing is part of life here, and everyone heals from it. And, no matter what you do, no one will ever lay a finger on you. Ever.”
I was silent while Zeke continued. “I mean it, Sam. You’re my mate. More than that, you’re the first human mate of the Seraphim. Very few people are as protected as you are now. Not just by me, but by the entire unit—the twins included. Every last one of them would give up their immortality to protect you.”
“I don’t deserve that.”
“You do,” Zeke said. “Not just because you’re my mate, but because of you. You’ve only been here a couple of days and everyone is already obsessed with making you happy.”
My OCD geared up to launch itself, but Zeke barrelled on, not giving my brain time. “The twins are horrified about what happened. The idea that you’re scared and angry has mortified them. They want to do whatever they can to make it up to you.”
My cheeks were burning. “They don’t need to make it up to me.”
“Yes, they do. They need to grovel, and grovel hard.” Zeke kissed me lightly. “They won’t feel better until they do, and neither will I. And, as you’re not ready to see them in person, I thought this would be a good start.”
I glanced back at the game. “This was your idea?”
“Sort of. I came up with the idea, but it was Nate who made this happen. Now, you don’t have to give them a chance, I’m not going to force you to do anything you’re not comfortable with. All I will say is that they’re very sorry.”
I took a deep breath. “I need to give them a chance. If I’m going to be living here permanently, I don’t want anyone tiptoeing around me.”
Zeke’s smile lit up the room. “You’re going to move in? Like, properly move in?”
‘ There you go, just inviting yourself to stay. He’s only going to let you stay out of pity. ’
Before I could take it back, Zeke wrapped me in a crushing hug. “I’m so fucking happy, Sam. I really didn’t want to lock you in my room and pretend to lose the key.”
My mind went quiet as I snorted. “Please tell me you weren’t going to resort to imprisonment to get your way.”
He gave me a smacking kiss on my cheek before standing back, eyes shining. “Now we’ll never know.”
Chuckling, I turned back to face the screen. There were two messages waiting for me in the chat box.
TwatTwin1
Hey, it’s Nate. I’m sorry about what happened. We’re going to try to be less twatty.
TwatTwin2
But, as our usernames suggest, we’re not going to guarantee anything. Being a twat is just in our natures. We are sorry though, and we promise never to hurt Ez in front of you again.
I noted that Theo wasn’t promising to never hurt Zeke, just not to do it where I might see it. But I was rapidly learning that their culture was different. And, while I’d have preferred them to communicate using their words instead of their fists, I was going up against millennia of programming.
If I couldn’t change the way my brain operated, why was I expecting them to?
LegoSam
let’s game
“ I s this really what you want to do?”
It was later that night, and Zeke and I were stood outside the door to the twins’ suite in our comfiest clothes. “Yes, I told you I’m fine with it.”
That wasn’t strictly true. After gaming with the twins for several hours, I’d found myself relaxing. We’d moved to voice headsets early in the game, calling out orders and generally taking the piss out of each other whenever we fucked up.
It was safe to say I was no longer terrified of them. It was hard to be when you realised that Nate was scared of spiders and Theo often didn’t know his left from his right.
They weren’t normal blokes—far from it—but they’d gone out of their way to make me feel comfortable in an environment I felt safe in.
When they’d suggested a sleepover party, I’d been thrown. Firstly, we weren’t twelve. And secondly, was I ready for that?
Throughout the day, I’d come to realise that while we weren’t twelve, the twins lived by embracing their inner child. Given that my own hobbies fell in line with that mindset, I thought, fuck it, why not?
“It’s better I do this now,” I explained to Zeke. “It’s like ripping off a plaster. Do it fast and all at once, before your brain has time to panic.”
“That makes sense,” Zeke said. “But if I feel in the bond that you’re even slightly uncomfortable then I’ll be carrying you out of there. Okay?”
“Fine. To be fair, if I get overstimulated, you might have to. But I want to give it a go.”
“Not a problem. And I’m proud of you for doing this, Sam. I can’t help but worry and want to protect you, but I’m also so damn happy at the effort you’re putting in.”
I patted his chest. “Anything for you.”
“Dangerous words to say to a being like me.” Zeke winked. “Come on, let’s go see what the twats—I mean, the twins—have set up for you.”
Lips twitching, I followed Zeke into the suite. It was laid out in the same way as Zeke’s but it looked far more modern. There were two giant squashy sofas on either side of the fireplace. A huge flatscreen TV took up most of the wall and had every gaming console imaginable linked up to it. There was even a mini-fridge next to the fireplace, full of beers and snacks.
None of that surprised me though. What did surprise me was how quiet the room was. Both the twins were sat silently on the sofa furthest from us, patiently waiting. The overhead lights were off, small lamps all around the room bathing it in gentle light.
I wasn’t the only one taken aback. “What’s all this?”
“We want Sam to be comfortable,” the twin on the left answered Zeke before looking at me. “Is this okay? Too quiet? Too dark?”
I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “It’s perfect, thank you.”
“Nate’s on the left, Theo is on the right,” Zeke said quietly, and I was grateful. Hopefully I’d be able to tell them apart without his help soon. “Hang on, why have you warded your half of the room?”
Confused, I looked at the empty space Zeke was pointing at. Obviously, he could see or sense something I couldn’t.
“We didn’t want either of you to feel uncomfortable,” Theo explained. “Micah set the ward, and we can’t pass it until he removes it.”
Understanding and gratitude tumbled through the bond before Zeke spoke. “You didn’t need to do that, but thank you.”
That, more than anything else, had the tension leaving my body. The twins hadn’t only taken my needs and concerns into consideration, but Zeke’s too.
They really wanted to make this work. And now, so did I.
“Come and sit down,” Nate said, scooting forwards towards the table between the sofas. “We’ve got a film lined up, but we thought you might like to do this at the same time.”
I moved forwards curiously. On the table were four sets of Lego, each a different set piece from The Lord of the Rings .
“We thought we could do them together,” Theo said excitedly, already ripping into his box. “We probably won’t get them all done tonight, but we can make a start.”
Nate hadn’t touched his box, instead watching me closely. “So, what do you think?”
I plopped myself down on the sofa, reaching for my set with a grin. “I think it’s a good thing you gave me Rivendell, because I’m about to show you how this is done.”