42. Lina
Lina
" I will need to stay here tonight.” His voice is surprisingly tender. “They will be watching.”
velvety fabric tickles my shoulders. I blink and touch the cloth. A towel. He’s giving me a towel.
Like a little rabbit, jolted into action I tighten it around me and rush into the corner of the room, but when my eyes meet his, I find his palms are out to me in a symbol of peace. His eyes are soft and… concerned?
“I will not touch you in any way you do not want.”
I did not want any touching , I don’t say. But then, I think of the girl’s instruction. Could I truly be his weakness? Could I make him want me?
“Unless it will save your life,” he adds, eyes cast to the floor. “I know you do not desire me. That’s not what any of this is.”
“Then, what?” I spit out. “What is it, then?”
He pulls in a long breath through his nose. My eyes flash down to where they absolutely should not be then back up. He is no longer erect.
If he noticed my attention on his private bits, he doesn’t react.
“Something beyond your understanding.”
I grimace. Does he think I’m dumb? A stupid village girl with no thoughts outside survival? I do admit I haven’t shown much more than fear, especially around him, but it still scrapes against my heart uncomfortably.
Do I want him to appreciate me ? Strange thought.
“If there is something you need, beyond what you are given, tell me. I know you do not trust me. Our fates are locked together in ways neither of us desire. But our choice is to accept it or succumb to the darkness.”
He just admitted he does not want me.
When I don’t move from my spot cowering in the corner, he begins rummaging in the baskets on the edge of the room.
“What is all of that?” I ask for the first time. I’ve rarely had the chance to talk to my Dread. I’m living in his room, alone, among his things. Sleeping in his bed.
But he is never here.
He slips on a pair of pants, and my cheeks redden. I don’t even know what’s happening to my own body right now.
“Clothes,” he mutters, giving the obvious answer.
“Not all of it.”
“No. Not all of it.” He pulls on a tunic.
“What are the trinkets?” There are at least a hundred different, seemingly random items. Books and jewelry, a ball, a drawing. A pink sock. A ribbon. a stuffed animal. A thimble. And so much more. I haven’t sorted through all of it.
“They’re…mementos.”
I frown. “Of your life?” I ask, thinking of the ribbon and tiny sock. Did he have a child? A sister?
“No. They do not belong to me.”
Then…
He stands and sighs. He grabs a set of pants and a top the dressmaker made me, hanging on a bar by the edge of the room and throws them to me.
“They’re keepsakes from those I’ve killed.”
I stare dumbfounded at the monster in my room. His room. His. I am nothing here. Nothing but property.
I quickly pull the clothing over my body but remain curled up in the corner. I stare down at my hands, thoughts empty. Numb.
I knew he was a warrior. Knew he had killed. Many . He’s killed many. But to hear him state it so plainly, to know he keeps pieces of those people in this room, here with me—I cannot even fathom it.
One strange thought pops into my mind, and I voice it before thinking. “What will you keep of me?” I whisper
I don’t know if he reacts because I’m not brave enough to look at his face. He doesn’t answer. I can feel the silence like a living thing, pulsing around us.
The answer is probably the coin I now keep under the pillow.
“I hope it never comes to that.” His voice is hollow.
Does he regret his kills? Or are they trophies to him?
“Please take the bed,” he says. “I will sleep on the floor.”
I sniff. “I don’t really intend to move right now.”
He huffs a bitter laugh. “I would leave you alone if I could.”
“Where do you go?”
He just told me he keeps random items that belonged to the people he kills. I don’t know how I conjure the bravery to keep asking questions.
I suppose, at least he has shown he does not have a desire to kill me.
Yet.
He shakes his head. “Not far from where you went today. You’re lucky it was me who found you first.”
I swallow.
“If I need to, I’ll remain here every night. Is that what you want?”
I shake my head quickly.
“Then, stop exploring on your own.” He stands suddenly. “Actually, let’s do a quick lesson. Since you’re not intent on sleeping yet.”
I swallow, unsure what he means. He rummages through one of the bins and comes out with a small white stone. Then, he squats down on the ground and begins drawing.
I lean forward to get a better view.
First, he draws a small circle. Then a few others without much of a pattern.
Then, a large circle around all of it followed by an X on the outside of that.
“This is the cascade,” he points to the first circle.
“This is the sanctuary. And this is our community center.” He points to one circle then the next.
“And the big circle?”
“The drakai pit.” His words send flashes of claws and teeth through my mind. The massive void.
I frown. “It goes all the way around?—”
“The whole fortress, yes. You cannot get out of this mountain without passing over or through it.” He draws one line through the large circle. “There is one— one —walkway over it. It is constantly guarded by three Drak warriors. It is never unattended.”
I swallow.
“So, unless you think you can take on three warriors by yourself, or a hundred drakai, you are not getting past it.”
“But tonight, I…”
“You found a tiny sliver that acts as a walkway, but not across the pit, beside it. It leads to the dungeons. If you think you can use the dungeons to escape, you’re more foolish than I thought.”
I wrinkle my nose.
“I know this isn’t what you want. But for you, there is… some good to be found here. It’s not—” He closes his eyes. “It’s not ideal. But there is no escaping. If there was, I would have done it already.”