10 Birdie
BIRDIE
Everything I own fits easily in the back of Phoebe’s Jeep.
It takes the two of us only forty-five minutes to pack it all up once we get back to campus.
Two large suitcases for my clothes, sheets, and towels; a cardboard box full of shoes; a travel tote for my toiletries; and two boxes of books.
My bike, we strap to the back of the Jeep.
My messenger bag sits between my feet on the floor of the front seat.
It holds my laptop, tablet, and camera—the three most expensive things I own.
Despite all my protests, Phoebe demands to buy me dinner again.
“Come on, we’re celebrating!” Turning down the music, she steers the Jeep slowly forward onto the ferry.
“My flight for Munich leaves Monday, and I won’t see you again until August. Please?
It’ll be fun for me. We’ll hit all my favorite Burr Island haunts. ”
I smile, feeling the lightest I have in weeks. Spring grading is done, and I turned in my last paper. I’m officially free. Slipping my sunglasses on top of my head, I glance her way. “What did you have in mind? Crashing a high school keg party in the woods? Naked cliff-diving?”
“Nothing so glamorous. I was thinking more like dinner at the Fig Leaf, which is the best Mediterranean restaurant on the island. Then a quick stop by Greenwood’s—that’s the grocery store. And maybe a midnight showing of Boris Karloff’s The Mummy, which is playing over at the Angelica Theater.”
I smile, nodding at the ferry parking attendant as she passes my window in her bright orange vest. “That all sounds amazing, Pheebs. But . . .”
She glances my way. “But what?”
Look, Phoebe is a good friend, and I love spending time with her.
But she’s the kind of social butterfly that doesn’t let herself settle down with one person for long.
It’s why she goes through relationships like changing socks.
And why she has a social circle fifty people strong.
After spending the whole day with me, I won’t take it personally if she needs to refill her social battery with someone else’s energy.
I try to convey this message with a simple, “It’s okay if you’ve got other stuff to do .
. . other people to see. I’ll understand. ”
Reaching across the center console, she pats my leg. “You’re stuck with me tonight, Birds. Just let it happen.” Then she leans over, turning the radio down a little more. “Besides, we still haven’t discussed why you and Jas blasted apart like shrapnel when I found you up in the apartment earlier.”
My heart fucking drops. “I . . .”
What do I even say?
Apparently, nothing, because Phoebe is already howling. She laughs so hard she cries, taking off her sunglasses to wipe under her eyes. “Oh, you bitch! Seriously?”
“Nothing happened.”
She slips her sunglasses back on. “Hellooo, it’s Jasper! I know nothing happened. That man wouldn’t know how to make a move if his life depended on it.”
I bite back the retort ready on my lips. Phoebe doesn’t need to know that her uncle was actually quite adept at making a move on me. A move that’s left me squirming for the rest of the day. Even now, my scalp tingles at the memory of him jerking his fist in my hair.
“Hortie and I have been trying to get him settled for ages,” she goes on.
“But the man is a freaking island . . . who lives on an island! I swear, I’m done setting him up on dates.
At this point, I’ll settle for him just getting a little action.
Being that tense all the time can’t be good for his health, right? ”
I grimace. “Ew. Please, stop.”
She laughs, wholly unaffected by the weirdness of this conversation. “I’m just saying, if you really wanna ride that train, Humming Birdie, then be my guest. Choo, choo!”
“Wow,” I say over her with the heaviest sarcasm. “Thank you so much for giving me permission to ride your uncle’s penis train.”
“Hey, from your lips to the goddess’s ears!”
I can’t help but smile, shaking my head at her antics. “This might seem crazy to you, but I’m not actually planning to sleep with anyone this summer. Not my professor, and certainly not my boss.”
“Hell on earth,” she teases. We both know her propensity for dating inappropriate people. “So, what’s the plan then? You gonna find the true meaning of Birdie Rhodes while hiking the island trails?”
“Do I really need to have a plan? What’s wrong with just living in the moment?”
“Nothing at all. In fact, it’s my motto.”
A loud horn blasts as the ferry engines start to rumble.
All around us, other people wait in their cars, eyes on their phones.
The safety announcement chimes from every speaker as the ferry starts to move.
The announcer says something about leaving vehicles unattended, and that has Phoebe turning in her seat.
“Oh, that reminds me. I’m leaving Peep with you this summer. ”
“Peep?”
“Peep,” she repeats, patting the dashboard. “Bo Peep, the Yellow Jeep. She’s yours. Take care of her, okay?”
“Pheebs, I can’t—”
“You can, and you will. Come on, Birdie, you can’t spend a whole summer trapped on Burr Island without a car.”
I shrug. “I have a bike.”
“I’m sorry, but have you seen the hills on the island?” Flipping down her visor, she reapplies her lip gloss in the mirror. “You need calves of steel to pedal those monsters. And I’ve seen your calves, Birds. Like two skinny flamingo legs. You’ll die.”
“I’m tougher than I look.”
At this, her smile softens, her lips freshly pink and shiny. She reaches out, tucking my hair behind my ear. “Why won’t you ever just let people take care of you, huh? Why is everything always a fight, even the good stuff?”
Her words settle deep in my chest, bringing unexpected tears to my eyes. My reflexes are ready to shrug and laugh it off. Surprising the heck out of myself, I take the straightest path and just tell my friend the truth. “No one has ever really taken care of me.”
She takes my hand, weaving our fingers together. “I’m sorry you feel that way about people and their intentions . . . and I’m even more sorry if it was true about your past. But it’s not true about your present. And it doesn’t have to be your future either. I’m here, Birds. I’m sitting right here.”
I blink back my tears, squeezing her hand. “I know. And you’ve been a good friend. My only friend, really.”
“You know, you’d probably have more friends if you put yourself out there a bit more.
Honestly, you and Jasper might be perfect for each other.
You’re both these jaded, lonely islands, just waiting for the world to fuck you over.
” She gives me another discerning look. “Maybe that’s why I like you so much.
Maybe the goddess knew I needed two of you in my life.
You know, like a balanced set.” Clearing away this tense moment with a wave of her hand, she sits forward.
“Okay, new game. Birdie Rhodes, this is going to be your Summer of Yes.”
“My Summer of Yes?”
“Yes. While I’m off galivanting in Germany, I wanna know I’m leaving you behind with Peep, getting into some good trouble.
So, I want you to say ‘yes’ to doing one spontaneous thing a day—no, a week,” she quickly amends.
“We both know you’d keel over if I made you do something new every single day.
But you’re doing one new thing a week. Agreed? ”
I raise a brow. “Wait, is this, like, a sex thing?”
She cackles. “Hey, who knows, right? One thing can lead to another. But it doesn’t have to be about sex. See a sign for a free yoga event in the park? Show up. Some cute guy asks you out on a date? Girl, go.”
“And you think more spontaneity in my life will make me less of a jaded, lonely island just waiting for the world to fuck me over?”
Grabbing my shoulder, she gives me a shake. “Well, it can’t hurt, can it?”
I laugh, the sound surprising me as it escapes.
“Come on, Birdie. I care about you. And I’m worried you’re making yourself unhappy out of fear of being happy. You think you don’t deserve it, but you do. And I think this summer could be a great thing for you. I just don’t want you to keep living scared. Will you try? For me?”
Looking out the front windshield, I watch as Burr Island looms closer. “Okay,” I finally say. “I’ll try.”