19. Flavia
Flavia
I found him in the darkest part of his grove, where the web was woven thick enough to block out the stars. He sat perfectly still on the ancient stump he’d claimed as his throne, all eight eyes closed, his form so motionless he might have been carved from stone.
“I know you’re there,” he said without opening his eyes. “I’ve tasted your approach in my web for the last hour.”
I stepped into the grove proper, noting how the silk no longer sang at my presence. It hung neutral, neither welcoming nor warning. Just... indifferent. The thought made my stomach drop.
“I went to the stones.”
“Obviously.” He opened his primary eyes then, the others remaining shut. “You smell of their magic.” His mandibles clicked once, sharp. “Of the wolf-woman’s mutts.”
“Are you going to ask me why I came back?”
“No.” He rose with that terrible grace, but didn’t approach. “I know why you came back. The stones told you what you must do. Complete the cycle. Consume your tormentor. Become.” Each word fell like ice. “You need to reach the villa. Pass through my territory.”
I moved closer, but he shifted away, maintaining the distance between us. “That’s not the only reason.” I said.
His laugh held no warmth. “Tell me, neidr, what other reason could there be? You made your position quite clear when you ran. You were never mine, only desperate. A slave to a new master.”
“I was angry?—”
“You were honest. Perhaps the most honest you have ever been with me.” He turned his back to me, something he’d never done before.
“And perhaps correct. I marked you without permission. Claimed you without consent. Bound you with scars you’ll carry forever.
” His additional arms emerged from beneath his robe, gesturing to the empty grove.
“So take what you need. The path to the villa is clear. Complete your transformation. Become what you’re meant to be. ”
“You’re dismissing me?”
“I’m freeing you.” He still wouldn’t look at me. “Isn’t that what you wanted? Freedom from my web? Space to discover what you are without me defining your every step?”
His scars throbbed, the venom longing to come home. “Then why does it feel like punishment?”
He whirled then, all eyes open and blazing.
“Punishment? You think this is punishment?” His form expanded, showing the monstrous truth beneath his controlled exterior.
“Punishment would be binding you in silk until you remembered who you belong to. Punishment would be hunting down every creature that dared call you sister and hanging their husks from my web. Punishment would be keeping you here, caged in my grove, until the stars burned out rather than let you walk away again.”
“Then why don’t you?”
The question hung between us. When he answered, his voice was quiet, controlled again.
“Because you were right. About the marking.” He touched his own chest, where his dark markings mimicked mine.
“I swore to protect you. That you wouldn’t suffer as you had before.
Then at the first challenge to my claim, I carved into you like…
like I didn’t believe you would stay without it. ”
“Ysu—”
“Go.” The word cracked in his chest. “Hunt your tormentor. Complete your gods-damned cycle. But don’t…” He paused, and for a moment I saw something raw in his expression. “Don’t pretend you came back for anything more than passage.”
“Stop it.” The words were weighted with tears.
“Stop what? Speaking truth? You missed comfort, perhaps. Protection. The certainty of my web.” He gestured dismissively. “Any guardian could provide that. The wolf seems eager to collect strays.”
“The wolf doesn’t see me as I am. Only what I am becoming.”
“And I do?” He moved then, circling me but still maintaining distance. “I understand hunger. Possession. The need to clutch at beautiful things until they break. But understanding you? No, neidr. I never understood you. I only wanted to keep you.”
“Liar. You knew when I needed to be pushed, and when I needed to be held. You helped me be strong, and cradled me so I could surrender. You stopped my nightmares, you…cared for me.”
He stopped circling. “What would you have me say? That I still want you? That every hour you were gone felt like centuries? That I’ve been sitting here forcing myself not to hunt you down and drag you back?
” His voice dropped to barely above a whisper.
“That letting you leave again might be the hardest thing I’ve done in my entire cursed life? ”
“Then don’t let me.”
“And prove you right? That I’m just another chain?” He shook his head. “No. You want freedom? Take it. Take it and leave me to my endless hunger.”
My heart ached, and I knew the truth. The truth I had been hiding from myself, because deep down, I had never been as strong as he thought I was. I had always been a coward. I saw his pain, and still I could not bring up those words that lingered in the last part of me that was human.
“Your silence speaks volumes,” he said softly. “So go. Hunt. Transform. Become. But stop torturing us both with false promises.”
“I never meant to hurt you.”
He chuckled, but it held no humor. He finally turned to face me, reaching out, one claw ghosting over the marks on my neck without actually touching.
“These scars bind you to me, yes. But chains work both ways, neidr. Every moment you’re gone, I feel the pull.
Every hour, I have to choose not to follow. Do you know what that costs?”
“Come with me. To the villa. Like you wanted to before?—”
“No.” He pulled back. “This is your hunt. Your choice.” His next words were barely audible. “And when you’re done, if you choose to return...then we’ll discuss what we are to each other. But not before. Not with lies and half-truths and missed comfort masquerading as affection.”
I stared at him, this ancient creature trying so hard to let me go despite every instinct screaming otherwise. “You’re afraid I won’t come back.”
“I’m certain you won’t. Once you are complete, you will have no need of me.” He turned away again. “The truth is, you were always strong. You never needed me. But that’s my burden to bear, not yours. The path to the villa is clear. Hunt well.”
“Ysu—”
“Go, my neidr. Please.” The last word pained him. “Before I forget my resolution and do something else I cannot take back.”
I stood there for a long moment, watching his rigid back, feeling the weight of everything unsaid between us. Then I turned and walked toward the villa, each step more painful.
Behind me, I heard the sound of silk tearing—Ysu destroying his own web rather than feel me walk across it.
The message was clear: I was free.
So why did I feel like everything was falling apart?