48. CHAPTER 43
SAYLOR
Fuck, I haven’t been able to get enough of his dick.
I’m on my knees in our bedroom with Axl’s cock in my mouth, and he’s pulling my hair.
He’s already dressed, looking far too sexy in his jeans, boots, and a tight black Henley.
I want to lick each of the tattoos exposed on his chest and neck.
He was about to leave for a meeting with the Sinclairs when I dropped to my knees and pulled him back by his belt.
It’s not like he put up much of a fight. Every time he tries to bring up the nightmares, I fuck him. Or every time he tries to leave, I fuck him. So pretty much all we do is fuck.
I take him deeper, and his grip tightens in my hair. “Fuck, baby. I’m going to be late.”
I don’t care. I don’t want him to leave.
Every time he walks out that door, the thoughts get too loud, and I have to sit with what I know.
It’s been three fucking days. After that day in the shower, I’ve barely been able to hold it together.
I’m surviving mostly through sex and making out with the man I love.
My brother’s words pop into my head. I’ve been so good at pushing them out, but they come back at the worst times. He said he was going to make me kneel for him.
I gag and pull back. I press my forehead against Axl’s hip and close my eyes, pushing everything else away.
“Hey.” His hand loosens in my hair. “You okay?”
I force a sexy grin and then look up at him. “Of course.”
“Are you sure?”
He doesn’t appear convinced, so I lick my lips. “You’ve been fucking my pussy so much, I’m just out of practice.”
He tilts my chin up with his finger, and I open my mouth for him. “I can’t help that your cunt feels so good, little heathen.” He takes his dick and rubs it along my tongue. “Are you sure my good girl wants me to fuck her mouth?”
I nod with his dick on my tongue because I don’t trust my voice right now. I want him to stay. I want his hands on me so there’s no opportunity to think about anything else.
He pushes into my mouth, and I take him as deep as I can. He fists my hair and groans low in his chest. “That’s it, baby. Just like that. Choke on my dick while I fuck this heathen mouth.”
I grip his thighs and let him set the pace. Tears sting my eyes from the weight of it all. His dick in my mouth is the only thing holding me together right now, knowing he’s about to leave. I suck him as hard as I can, swallowing at the back of my throat.
“Fuck, Saylor.” His hips jerk, and his grip tightens. “I’m going to come down your fucking throat.”
I take all of him, swallowing hard, and his hand slams flat against the wall behind me. He comes hard with a loud groan, and I swallow every fucking drop because I did that to him. I chose to kneel for my king and let him use my mouth. These are my fucking choices.
He pulls out of my mouth slowly and tilts my chin up. Then he wipes the corner of my mouth with his thumb. “Good girl, little heathen.”
I press my lips together and look up at him. I want to tell him everything. The secret is burning me from the inside. But I can’t let Kynlee go to auction. Kynlee and Axl are the two most important people in the world to me. And I can’t do that to her.
He pulls me to my feet and kisses me hard, backing me into the wall. “I’ve really got to go, baby.” He presses his forehead against mine. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Are you going to be alright for a little bit? I wouldn’t leave if I didn’t have to.”
I nod against him. “Just please hurry back.”
“I will.” He kisses me again. “And I promise to tie you up and play with you when I get back.”
That’s all I fucking want. Axl. The door closes behind him, and the room goes silent.
I stand in the middle of our bedroom and stare at the door for a long time. My jaw is sore, and I can still taste him on my tongue. I want him to come back so bad my chest aches.
I grab one of his hoodies from the closet and pull it over the tank I’m wearing.
I brush my teeth and pull my hair into a ponytail.
Then I go plop onto the couch with my phone.
There’s nothing from Kynlee, thankfully.
I haven’t seen much of her in the last few days either.
She’s been at her parents’ house a lot, but I haven’t asked her why.
She felt bad about leaving after what happened with Tracy the last time she was gone, but I told her I just wanted to spend time with Axl anyway.
I can’t be around Kyns right now. I’m barely functioning keeping this from Axl.
I can’t manage keeping it from her too. And she’s safer staying far away from Justin.
If she were here, she’d make me tell her what’s bothering me. Axl is already so close to getting it out of me too. He knows I’m holding back. He’s not going to be patient much longer, but I can’t cave. That can’t fucking happen.
My phone buzzes.
Dad: I need to see you, sweetheart. Can you meet me at the house and not tell Axl?
I stare at the screen and sigh. I don’t know how to answer him. I’m tired of keeping things from Axl. And it’s not like he can’t track my phone and know where I go. Fuck. Justin is reading this too. How is this my fucking life?
My phone buzzes again.
Dad: It’s important, Saylor. Please.
My dad isn’t the dramatic type. If he needs to see me, then it truly is something important. At least it’ll be something to take my mind off of the bullshit here even though I know Axl won’t like me leaving.
Me: I’ll head there now.
I grab my keys from the bottom of my bag where they’ve been sitting untouched for over a month.
I haven’t driven my own car since I moved here.
I’ve only left the mansion once with Justin.
My entire body stiffens, and I bring my hand to my mouth, seeing that night differently for the first time. I hadn’t wanted to think about it.
He raped me that night. That wasn’t a nightmare. That was real. I tipped over the wine he brought me, so I wasn’t under as deep as he thought I would be. Tears sting my eyes, and I swing my fists down into the couch cushion.
I came for him. I fucking came. I fucking thought I was dreaming of Axl. Fuck Justin.
Before I can stop it, I’m rushing to the bathroom and vomiting the coffee and granola bar I had into the toilet.
I brush my teeth and wash my face, imagining all the ways that I would love to see my brother tortured and killed for what he’s done.
In truth, I’m terrified of my brother. That’s the other reason I never want Axl away from me.
If Axl is with me, Justin can’t do anything.
I saw the look in his eyes—he’s fucking crazy.
I don’t know what’s wrong with him, and I don’t care.
He’s unhinged, and I no longer know the extent of what he’s capable of.
I slip on my shoes and tuck the knife Axl gave me into the hoodie pouch. I’m never leaving this room unarmed again.
I manage to get out of the house without running into anyone and can only hope that no one saw me.
My car is where I left it weeks ago. It takes me a second to remember what it feels like to sit behind the wheel.
Everything in my life has revolved around Axl and the fucking Ravens for so long.
Driving myself somewhere feels like a foreign luxury.
I pull out of the lot and head toward my parents’ house. I put on my sunglasses and roll down the windows, blasting music to drown out the anxiety that builds every mile I get closer to that house.
The house where Justin raped me.
I park in the driveway and sit in the car for a minute. It looks the same, but I see everything differently now. I’d be happy to never set foot in this house ever again.
I walk through the front door without knocking. My father is in the living room. He stands when he sees me, and his face looks different. It’s bruised, and there’s a bandage on his nose.
“Saylor.” He crosses the room and pulls me into a hug.
I hug him back. “Daddy, what happened? Are you alright?”
He pulls back and holds me at arm’s length. His eyes move over my face like he’s searching for something. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”
“You don’t look fine. Were you in a fight?”
He ignores that and guides me to the couch. He sits across from me in the armchair and leans forward with his elbows on his knees.
“Axl came to see me a few days ago.” He says it carefully, watching my reaction.
My stomach drops. He never told me he saw my father. “What? Why? Did he do that to you?”
“He had some concerns about you. About some nightmares you’re having.” My father’s hands clasp together, and his knuckles are white. “I want to ask you something, and I need you to tell me the truth, Saylor.”
I don’t say anything. My heart is pounding so hard I can feel it in my ears. I knew what Axl suspected, but I didn’t think he’d actually ask my father that. I shift on the couch, feeling uneasy about what he’s going to ask.
“Has anyone hurt you?” His voice cracks on the last word.
I’ve never witnessed my father become emotional before.
I can feel the dam starting to break inside of me, and I’m not sure I can fucking stop it.
“I know this is uncomfortable coming from your father, but I need to know. I can fix it, sweetheart, if you just tell me what has Axl concerned enough to come to me.”
I try to hold it together. I press my nails into my palms and clench my jaw. I make it about three seconds before the first tear falls.
“Saylor.” My father moves from the armchair to the couch beside me. He doesn’t touch me. He just sits there and waits. “You can tell me. Or just tell me what you know. Have men forced themselves on you?”
“I can’t tell Axl.” The words come out broken, and I hate how small my voice sounds. “He’ll kill him. And that can’t happen, Daddy.”
“Kill who, sweetheart?” My father doesn’t move, but there’s a sharp edge to his words.
I look at him, and I watch his face because I need to know if he already knows what’s coming next. I need to see it when I say the name.
“Justin.”