Chapter 22 #2
Shock flashed in her eyes. “You were never horrible to me. You were harsh but mostly questioning things I understood. Horrible is jeering at people’s pain and… You were never horrible.”
We talked about the updates to a list of other things including the interim police chief of the capital. He was working out well, but Sagan wanted to give it more time. She was honest that the police chief for one of the biggest capitals and commerce areas in the world wasn’t a small decision.
There were still more candidates to consider and positions in the police department that needed replacing.
Then she broke a huge story that was being whispered about that too many Queen’s Guards were loyal to the elders and were out. That for now some of the royal family’s private security were filling in certain roles and they were talking about a temporary contract.
But Sagan was considering breaking tradition and keeping a contract always. She thought it was a good balance to make sure that this situation never happened again. Too much darkness had seeped into the castle and she didn’t know how to get it all out safely and not make things worse.
I gave her an apologetic look when we reached the end and she nodded. We both knew we needed to talk about her mating contest. It was what people wanted no matter how… Childish?
Her mating wasn’t childish, but people’s interest in the “contest” part like they could vote someone back or—it was all vile. The opinions and media frenzy around it were downright vile.
“It seems there’s some potential among the candidates already,” I said evenly.
“The leading families have a lot to offer Thovudin and I would expect nothing less,” she said, her tone making it clear she gave zero fucks.
Which gave me nothing to work with and this was the sticking point of what people really wanted.
She seemed to realize my dilemma and threw me a bone. “Since we’ve already discussed what happened with Kole Conley and I’m apparently no longer staying quiet, it seems the right time to remind people of a few things.”
“Please do,” I accepted, having a feeling I knew what and it was something Toni had already said in a statement.
“I did not pick the prospective mating candidates. I’ve had no input.
At all. So even the Beta who made the snarky comment at a meeting that people could just be switched out for their uncles if they make me unhappy or whatever drivel catty people are saying—I had no input.
Alpha Vex put his brother up for consideration. ”
“At Onyx Conley’s request from what we’ve heard,” I pushed, smirking when she didn’t say anything. “You met before.”
“I’ve met many people in the Alpha families,” she deflected easily, the mask back on.
“Yes, but I found out you actually gave a guest lecture when he was the professor.”
Amusement danced in her eyes as she tried to curb a smirk. “Many years ago. My first where a sexist administration tried to embarrass a young princess who didn’t attend their university. I was too nervous to remember it was Onyx Conley, but I did remember him and how kind he was to me that day.”
I blinked at her a moment, shocked she was revealing that much. “So there’s a chance at a connection there?”
She snorted. “I’m giving everyone the consideration they deserve.
I’m also not going to hide—I’m annoyed how many are saying it’s a pity I couldn’t look past Kole’s mistake and now their candidate is Onyx Conley.
Kole didn’t fall onto the woman threatening me and sleeping with the former high priest to manipulate him into hurting me.
“Or the dozens of others coming forward who thought we had an ‘understanding.’ It’s ridiculous that Onyx is only the Alpha’s brother and a lesser candidate.
” She snorted. “He’s an accomplished scholar who made his own way independent of the Conley name while Kole struggled through school, but I thought him charming once.
“Know that I know the truth now and I just didn’t care enough to get to know Kole and see all the piles of red flags.
Like him running his mouth that I’ll regret how I treated him if I get stuck with Onyx.
The man who gives me gorgeous flowers? Supports me and doesn’t emotionally abuse me?
Asks what I need and how he can help me every time I look at my phone? ”
I could have been pushed over by a feather when I realized she had feelings for Onyx and all of this stemmed from her defending him instead of herself. I thought she was finally standing up for herself.
No. She was standing up for him.
Wow.
And damn, she was loyal.
“He’s a giant in several fields and handling a major issue with a country we’re rebuilding a relationship with that the former elders intentionally destroyed.
While Kole planned on leaking secrets to the press to manipulate me that I wasn’t safe in my own castle.
Threw fits—there’s no comparison between them and Kole does not come out on top.
“Ever.” She let out a slow breath and adjusted how she sat.
“Honestly, I regret letting the relationship go on as long as I did. It was easy and I thought shielded me from certain rumors—constantly being hounded by people who wanted to be prince. I thought it a good match. I wish my father had told me sooner that he knew of Kole’s cheating and had tried to break it off with—”
“I’m sorry for interrupting, Your Majesty, but did you say that King Rhys knew of Kole’s infidelity?”
The briefest flash of victory was in her eyes before it was gone. She’d wanted that to “slip” out. She was throwing down and ending this.
Sagan De la Rosa wasn’t someone to be messed with. That was for damn sure.
Or the people she cared about. She was furious about Kole Conley being recorded and his rant. Good, it had been disgusting and honestly, Alpha Vex needed to handle him or Applerest was screwed.
“Apparently,” she sighed. “I didn’t know. I found the proof and files—the communication with Alpha Vex that he wanted the relationship to end and to discuss it. Obviously, the king had more important issues, but—people need to stop speaking on things they don’t know, especially with such certainty.
“My father never supported the relationship. He wanted it ended. It wasn’t a setup of our parents or a match.
It was basically a joke with my friend that I never accepted anyone and I promised I would the next person who asked.
He did. He seemed nice and from an ally family, so that seemed safe for my first relationship.
“And instead of people being kind about it—it’s all disgusting.
I’m judged no matter what I do. I was judged for not dating and being a dorky prude.
I accept someone and it’s my fault he cheats because I’m not pretty enough for him.
I just…” She let out a slow breath. “I’m very disappointed with the people of Thovudin. I thought we were better than this.”
“I wish we were too,” I muttered, shocked at what else she’d just admitted publicly. Kole Conley was going to explode. This was going to get messy and… Actually, I didn’t know how it could get any messier, but evidently the queen was done being quiet about it.
“But yes, given I work well with Onyx and Joris, people were upset they are getting an unfair advantage,” she said, bringing us back around.
“So while I’m barely sleeping to handle massive corruption and keeping the nation going during this huge transition while the world is watching, I’m now having every meal be an introduction to candidates I didn’t have input on. ”
Princess Treena coughed like she was trying not to groan or just maybe signal for Sagan to chill out already. I wasn’t sure but… Wow.
Yeah, this was juicy all right.
“Hopefully, once they’re all out of the way, the candidates can start being as useful as Onyx and Joris,” I said, not sure what else to say. It wasn’t like this was my type of news either. I was—I wasn’t a gossip or an entertainment reporter for fuck’s sake.
“That is the hope so I can figure out which one of them—if any—is the right mate for me,” she said, sounding more tired than dismissive.
But I immediately locked in on what she said that would raise eyebrows. “One? I thought the expectation was several?”
She raised her eyebrow at me, which was amusing given my earlier thought.
“People can expect the sky to turn green during rain, but that doesn’t mean it will happen.
I have never said I will mate multiple men.
The elders tried to force me to and control me.
Others now assume that will be the outcome.
You know what they say when people assume things. ”
I snickered and heard it echoed, so someone else had as well. “Fair, but it’s not unheard of. I think people are hoping—”
“It’s not unheard of, but Thovudin is too sexist for me to consider it,” she said flatly, that eyebrow still up when I opened my mouth.
“Be honest. It’s always men who are—Alphas who have multiple mates are praised for continuing the bloodline and realizing how important the stability of their area is.
“How gross is it that they’re like stud horses only around to procreate because of their stronger genes is a conversation for another day.
But that’s what’s said as if we don’t mate for love.
What is said when it’s a woman?” She snorted when I flinched.
“Yes, she’s greedy to take so many men. She’s a whore and too lustful and—unsavory things, right? ”
“From what I’ve heard, but I would think—”
“It would be different for me?” She blinked at me a moment and chuckled.
“Oh yes, after I’m wearing padding to lure men in like a whore.
Tank tops on hot days that make me—yes, people will be much more understanding for me.
” She snorted. “It’s all ridiculous. Mating isn’t about lust. A woman can handle her own needs to—”
My cameraman started coughing to the extent he had to thump his chest and looked away from what he should be.
Sagan locked in on it and pointed to him. “Keep that in. I want that reaction in because it proves my point more than anything I could have said.”
“The sexism?” I checked.
She nodded. “Your biggest male nighttime anchor of the most watched news show constantly makes references to the size of his anatomy in varying ways that I find crass, but it’s always ‘locker room talk’ and ‘boys being boys.’ I make a statement—a normal, basic statement that I didn’t even get to finish that a woman can handle her own needs and he chokes on air. ”
“I think maybe it was that it came from our queen,” I hedged, not sure I believed that but at least trying to give my colleague a way out later when this became an issue.
Because it would. The queen was making it one.
The look she gave me like she knew it was bullshit was amusing.
“One could make that argument, but while the entire nation makes it clear they see me as a woman first before their ruler, it can’t be that way when it’s convenient for some.
My point also still stands. A woman doesn’t mate because she’s lusty. She mates for love.
“We can handle our needs and lust—our urges just like men. I’m being pushed to mate so more men can have the title of prince, but I will be judged for it.
Unless that changes, I won’t consider more than one mate even if they’re the most wonderful men ever.
And I won’t have children until this nonsense of me being queen regent to the next king is handled. ”
And with that, the interview was over. It was clear she was about to blow her temper or…
Something. She muttered to please excuse her and thanked me for my time.
Not even going through the normal outro as she stood and said she had matters to attend to.
She had her microphone off and on her seat before the rest of us could even react.
“Obviously, I’m going to need to see your final cut and make adjustments to—” Toni started to say.
“Don’t,” Princess Treena sighed. “Just don’t.
She knows what she’s doing. She’s had it.
” She stood and picked something off her pants that I was absolutely sure wasn’t actually there.
“Maybe this is what will have Thovudin pull its head from its…” She shook her head.
“She deserves so much better. I used to respect dragons and Thovudin. Now…”
“Obviously, that’s not on the record either,” Toni said quickly.
Treena gave Toni an amused but hostile look. “Would it matter if it was? I’m just an animal to over half your nation. They judge Sagan for having an animal as her advisor and not even a male one. I have breasts in one of the most sexist countries in our world. What does it matter what I say?”
I’d always known Thovudin was sexist, but hearing the heir of another nation say it so bluntly and with such disgust… I really started to wonder if we were as bad as other countries were making us sound.
It irked me. It really did, so even after the segment was edited and aired, I didn’t even stick around to see the live feedback. I wanted to dig more into what Princess Treena and Queen Sagan were saying.
I decided to start at the beginning with Sagan and what I found was… Beyond shocking didn’t cover it. She was astounding.
I knew she had degrees—master’s and doctorates—but what I didn’t know is she always had two or three going at the same time. Always in multiple programs. She had three undergrad degrees at the same time. In four years.
And she aced them all. Term papers and tests were public record through the universities. Other professors used her studies and papers as references. Her intelligence was that advanced and respected in other countries.
But in Thovudin, she was an ugly reject who no one had faith in and just expected to pop out a baby for the next king to be what we “needed.”
I thought about what to do with what I’d learned. My network was better than most but just as bad—just as sexist. Sagan was right about the male anchors and more.
Back and forth I went until I decided to do what I knew even if for once I did it without the recognition. I had enough of that in my career.
Now I did it for the future of Thovudin and other women who didn’t have the voice like my queen was fighting for. I went through several options but then found the domain name ChangeStartsWithSagan was available and it seemed… Perfect.
So I bought it and went to work.
If my queen could fight for my rights as a woman then so could I.
A lot of us should do more instead of simply judging each other.