Chapter 26 #2
“But you’ve done something.” I looked at Vander. “You said Ruvien never gives warnings without a reason. What he just said sounded like a warning to me. So tell me what he meant. What truth do I deserve to hear?”
“We should sit down,” Lorcan said.
I folded my arms. “No. I’m not taking a seat like a good, obedient pupil. Just tell me. Right now.”
They looked at each other.
“Stop doing that!” I cried. “This is about me. So tell me what I need to hear.”
“It’s Lilawen,” Vander said in a low voice.
My stomach dropped. “Is she—?”
“She’s alive,” he said quickly. “She’s safe.
But…” His expression turned grave. “There is no easy way to say this,” he muttered as if speaking to himself.
“Lilawen knows you’re here, Corinthe. She knows about Cyprio and the warehouse in Sausberg.
” His chest swelled. “She knows I rescued you because she’s the one who told me where I could find you. ”
For a minute, my mind refused to absorb his words. It was like he spoke a foreign language, or a vor I couldn’t grasp. “How…?” I swallowed hard. “Why should I believe you?”
“She made contact with my spies in the Wendlewood after Cyprio took you. She wanted me to find you and take you to Rasimir.”
I shook my head. “No. She would never do that. She knows what he is.” And she’s Crau Setra , a little voice whispered in my mind. The same as Marrigan.
Sympathy filled Vander’s eyes. “I know this is difficult to hear—”
“Which is why I won’t hear it,” I snapped, backing away. “Rasimir is a vile murderer. My mother would never send me to him knowing he intended to enslave me and drain me for power.”
“She is Crau Setra,” Lorcan said. “She has always been Crau Setra. She never stopped.”
“You can’t know that,” I said, my voice rising along with my anger and fear. “You haven’t seen her in decades.”
“I have,” Vander said. When I jerked my gaze to him, he nodded grimly.
“I saw her in the Wendlewood. She said that if the time came when I needed to tell you everything, I should expect you to be skeptical. She said she’d raised you to question, so she said to tell you to remember the silver hairbrush from the actress.
She said you would understand what that meant. ”
The ground shifted under me. I didn’t realize I was unsteady until Lorcan was suddenly beside me, one hand under my arm as he guided me to the bench.
“Breathe,” he ordered, easing me down. I let the roses settle in my lap. Lorcan sat beside me and gripped my hand, the contact the one steady point in a roiling sea of pain and confusion. “In and out. That’s all you have to do.”
My throat burned. Or maybe it was betrayal, the blaze consuming me from within. Mama.
“Why would…?” I croaked. “How could she do this?” A hot tear sprinted down my cheek and splashed onto the roses.
Vander sat on my other side. “The Crau Setra never leave the order. Lilawen failed at killing Rasimir. But she has another chance to kill him now.”
I looked at him through blurry eyes. “You mean me?”
His silver eyes held a mix of anger and remorse. “She created a weapon,” he said quietly. “She’s using it.”
Are you a tool or a blade?
If Vander and Lorcan told the truth, I was nothing but a tool. Molded and shaped by my mother, who cared more for a guild of assassins than her own child.
“It doesn’t make sense,” I said. Staring sightlessly at the grass, I shook my head. “Marrigan spoke poorly of Mama. She said she was—”
“What?” Lorcan prompted, drawing my gaze.
I drew an uneven breath. “Marrigan said Mama was motivated by lust, and that I was the same.”
Anger clouded Lorcan’s eyes. “Marrigan is a manipulator, Corinthe. She meddles from afar, pulling strings to suit her goals. And her goal is to rule Nocta. At first glance, she might seem like a better alternative to Rasimir, but that’s not the case. Most of the witches are purists.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, my unease growing.
“They believe only those who speak the vor scapa possess true magic. They don’t count vampires among those ranks. Nocta under the witches would be much the same as it is under your father.”
Vander touched my arm. “Not every coven believes this. A few holdouts celebrate all magic.”
But Marrigan believed it—and she didn’t seem like the sort of person to entertain different opinions.
“She pulled me into her temple through the maze,” I said. “If she’s so powerful, why doesn’t she do the same to Rasimir? Or gather the Resistance and storm the Drakhold? She could simply kill him and take over Nocta.”
“You assume enough Noctans would follow her,” Lorcan said.
“Immortals have long memories. They remember what life was like when the witches and vampires battled for power before Rasimir’s rise.
But even if that wasn’t the case, no Devout Mother has ever appeared outside the temple of the Crau Setra.
It’s said the Mother’s departure would reveal the temple’s location, which no one has been able to find. ”
Well, that was something at least. “She insulted my mother,” I said. “Why would Mama continue to serve someone like that?” More tears burned my throat. “How could she—?” I clamped my lips together before my voice could break.
How could she choose the Crau Setra over me?
Vander wrapped his fingers around mine, our joined hands resting next to Ruvien’s flowers in my lap. “Lilawen was raised from childhood to kill. She took vows, and she broke them. I don’t know if she chose. I don’t know if she’s capable of understanding she had a choice.”
“We almost always have a choice,” I said.
Vander’s sad smile let me know he recognized the words as Ruvien’s. “Lorcan and I choose you, Princess. In case there was ever a question.”
The world stopped for a second, then sped up, my heart speeding with it. I looked at Lorcan, my heart hitching again when his dark eyes lowered to my mouth. “What do you mean?” I asked.
“We both care for you,” he said. His fangs made a brief appearance as he gave a short huff of laughter. “That wasn’t part of the plan. It makes everything more complicated. More dangerous.”
“Then don’t do it,” I said, my irritation rising. He made it sound like caring about me was the worst thing that ever happened to him. “Stop caring.”
“I tried.” His gaze skimmed my mouth again. “It didn’t work.”
Heat blossomed low in my body. Seated between them, with one of their thighs pressing against each of mine, the implications of our conversation were clear.
They cared for each other. And they each cared for me. I couldn’t deny that I cared for them. That left us with one option.
We almost always have a choice. Was I ready to make it?
Standing, I faced them. “You would have killed Delphine. Both of you.”
“Yes,” Lorcan said. He remained seated, his stare unwavering. “Because refusal would have undone centuries of work. Living another day means another day to possibly free Nocta. We all make sacrifices. Delphine understood that better than anyone.”
Guilt was a bitter taste in my mouth. “Is sez —” My throat closed, cutting off my air. Lorcan and Vander were on their feet in an instant, but I waved them off. “I lost the vor ,” I said when I could speak again.
Lorcan’s expression turned solemn. “That’s the danger of revealing it to Rasimir. If he realizes you no longer possess it, he’ll eventually discover the vials.”
Perfect. Another complication to tiptoe around. But at least I was alive. Delphine was a statue.
“But we can reverse the petrification, right?” I asked.
Lorcan’s face didn’t change. “ Rix will reverse it. But one of us would have to possess the vor for petrification first.”
And we didn’t. Vander had said as much when I turned the bush to stone after I drank the vial.
“I’ll claim the vor for real,” I said. “I’ll save Delphine and make things right.”
A hint of skepticism moved through Lorcan’s eyes. Just a hint, but enough for me to see it. “You’re prepared to drain a witch and take the gift?” he asked. “Last I knew, Princess, you were opposed to killing.”
He’d allowed me to see the skepticism. Lorcan was too disciplined to let it slip. He wanted me to know he doubted me.
Well, hopefully, he saw the resolve I was probably incapable of hiding. “That was before Marrigan and seemingly every witch and werewolf in Nocta wanted to kill me.”
Vander drifted close, his own resolve shining in his eyes. “I’ll siphon you whenever I can. I won’t let you turn to madness.”
A knot of fear formed in my throat. So much was uncertain, and not just his ability to pull dead blood from my veins before it corrupted my mind. We still didn’t know if I could keep the magic I stole. If I couldn’t, Marrigan was the least of my problems.
But Vander and Lorcan knew it as well as I did, so I swallowed the knot and said, “Thank you.”
Vander looked at the sky. “We should get back.” He turned his gaze to the roses I still held. “And you should leave those here. Gifts from elves are never free.”
“We’ll split up,” Lorcan said, taking the roses from me and placing them on the ground. “Rasimir still has patrols searching the forest for wolves.”
We agreed I’d return with Lorcan. Just before we entered the forest, the talk of reversing vor s sparked a memory, and I stopped Lorcan with a hand on his arm.
“When you and Vander first told me about vor s, you said three can never be reversed.”
Just behind him, Vander stilled, alertness in his posture.
Lorcan’s face was unreadable as he said, “That’s right.”
“You named one,” I said. “Does that mean you don’t possess the others?”
For a moment, Lorcan seemed like he wouldn’t answer, and I almost took back the question. Maybe he was embarrassed by his lack of power.
“I can only speak two,” he said at last. “As you know, uci means ‘death.’ I also possess dismenti , which is the vor for forgetfulness. Once you’ve commanded someone to forget, nothing will persuade them to remember.
You can strip someone of their name. Their entire identity.
Or you can make them forget how to breathe. ”
A shiver passed through me. “And the third?”
“It’s the vor for ‘truth,’ but ‘confession’ is probably more accurate. I’ve never encountered a witch who can force others to spill their secrets. Overriding someone’s will requires unique power.”
In my mind, Marrigan stared at me with dozens of eyes. “Would I know if Marrigan forced a confession from me?”
Lorcan nodded. “In the moment, yes. But if she used dismenti , you wouldn’t remember it.”
The chill in my bones sank deeper. “You can speak the vor for forgetfulness. That means you’ve used it before.”
“We need to go,” Vander said.
Lorcan took my hand and led me away from the fountain, his gaze straight ahead. “It was a long time ago. Like truth, the gift is difficult to find.”
“ Rix ,” Vander said, and the forest reappeared.