29. Nyah
NYAH
Dear Diary,
Apparently, ‘stay calm and follow the plan’ does not apply when the man you love walks away with someone else.
Ididn’t care if Carlos noticed. I didn’t care the plan Lynx and I had come up with for tonight was that I’d end up in Luca’s bed.
All I could see was Dax walking away with another woman and the last expression on his handsome face was pure anger, all of it directed at me.
Maybe I should have felt bad. I knew I’d hurt his feelings. But what had he expected me to say? He couldn’t grab my arm, touch me, whisper that he hated seeing another man’s hands on me.
Didn’t he know the walls here had ears? That none of these people were on our side? That they were all smiling to my face, welcoming me into the fold, while holding knives behind their backs?
Carlos might not have been in earshot when Dax was saying things he shouldn’t have, but every single person at this party was watching us, waiting for me to slip up so they could go running to tattle.
I’d had no choice to say that I belonged to Carlos. No choice but to say he could touch me whenever he wanted.
Hell, it was true. I hadn’t been able to stop him spreading my legs and thrusting his fingers inside me.
Dax had been reckless and stupid, and so I’d shut it down before his lack of care got us both buried.
And now he was upstairs with a woman who wasn’t me.
I wanted to scream. Tear at something. Throw this fucking champagne glass into the tiles beneath my heels and let it shatter into a million pieces.
The same way my heart was.
I forced my feet to stay still for at least ten minutes. I smiled, nodded, pretended to sip my champagne that I’d been quietly pouring into potted plants all evening.
When Carlos was deep in conversation with the other men, and the women around me had hopefully forgotten the scene he’d made with Dax, I quietly said, “Excuse me, please. Bathroom.”
If anyone noticed me slip away, I couldn’t bring myself to care. I couldn’t control my feet a second longer.
I couldn’t just stand there, knowing Dax was upstairs, fucking a woman who wasn’t me.
I glanced over my shoulder, expecting Lynx to fall in behind me, but knowing he wasn’t going to stop me.
The moment I got to the doors, all composure fell away and my short, choppy strides, impeded by the tight dress, turned into a run, fueled by anger for Dax and hate for Carlos.
The split was so high up my thigh it was indecent, and yet I didn’t stop to fix it.
I passed waitstaff dressed in tuxedos, but none of them gave me a second glance, their attention solely on not spilling their trays of food and drinks.
I made it upstairs, passed my bedroom and Luca’s, my body on autopilot, a heat-seeking missile that only had one objective, now that all rational thought had left my head.
I threw open the door to the room Carlos had given Dax, accusations ready on my lips, though what I was accusing him of exactly I didn’t even know.
What was I going to say? How dare he cheat on me? We weren’t together.
All I knew was the jealousy and pain inside me, screaming this man was mine, and I was going to claw the eyes out of any woman who even thought about touching him.
The bedroom was dark, nothing but moonlight coming in through the open window.
The bed empty.
For half a second, I stood there confused, wondering why they weren’t naked, rolling around together. I considered that maybe I’d misunderstood which room Carlos had given them.
Fingers wrapped around my wrist and hauled me inside, the door slamming shut behind me. His warm body pressed against mine, stealing my breath in a gasp of shock.
His hand came over my mouth, silencing me.
His eyes were different than any other time I’d seen them.
Gone was the warm gold and the sweet crinkles at the sides because he smiled so much.
There was nothing there now but pure anger.
And deep, unbridled need.
His lips came to my ear. “You aren’t his fucking plaything, available to him whenever he wants. You’re never going to say that to me again, you understand me?”
He didn’t even give me a chance to respond. His eyes gleamed bright with anger. “Nod your head and tell me you understand that what you said out there was bullshit. You aren’t his, Nyah. You never fucking were. You were always mine.”
He kissed me hard, none of his usual gentleness to be found. The kiss bruised my lips. Pain and pleasure exploded inside me, and tears welled in my eyes. I tried to shove him off me, because this wasn’t us. This wasn’t how we were supposed to be.
But then he was kissing me again, and everything inside me melted.
Because even furious, it was still him.
Still Dax.
Still the man I loved.
And so I kissed him back, stopped fighting him, and let him punish me the way I knew he needed to. The way I deserved for leaving. The way I deserved for what I’d said and done, and for the way I’d hurt him.
His lips demanded, and I let him take. He kissed me until my head spun, his body unrelenting on mine, his mouth rough, not caring if he smudged my makeup. His tongue stole into my mouth, controlling the kiss, taking what he wanted, and giving me what I needed.
I tried to bring my hands up to his hair, to hold him, to slow him down and find the gentle side of him I loved so much, but he wouldn’t let me.
His fingers became steel cuffs around my wrists, and he spun me around so I was facing the door.
I turned my head to one side, the wood cold beneath my cheek, and I breathed raggedly as he ground on me from behind, his cock hard through the fabric of his suit pants.
“Dax—”
“Don’t fucking talk, Nyah. Because I don’t want to hear any more of that bullshit coming out of your mouth.”
I’d never seen him mad. Not like this. I’d seen him happy, sad, wild with fear…never this. His artist fingers, normally so gentle, were demanding. His previously gentle touches were fierce, fast grabs of my flesh, and my skin came alive.
My heartbeat sped up, my blood pounding in my ears.
As much as I loved my sweet, gentle man, there was something exciting about seeing him like this.
About watching him lose control and letting him take it all out on me.
Because God only knew I deserved it.
He caught the skirt of my silky dress and hoisted it up until the split was around my waist and he could push the fabric to one side to expose my ass.
He groaned, running his palms over me, my G-string nestled between my ass cheeks because any other sort of underwear would have shown in that dress. He kneaded both globes, so handsy, but that didn’t stop how good they felt.
His palm slapped across my ass.
I let out a cry that was more surprise than anything else.
“Bend over and hold on to the door, Nyah. Don’t make a fucking sound. You deserve this.”
Heat pooled between my legs, and he slapped my other ass cheek, a stinging pain that felt more like pleasure than a punishment.
But I did what he said, letting him spank me, his palm slapping each cheek again until they stung. But then he was on his knees behind mine, drawing my panties off and tucking them in his pocket.
I was sure I was blushing, but it was difficult to tell because my entire body was hot and burning with the need and desire he slapped into me. He widened my legs, exposing my center, and with one palm on my back, my hands braced on the door, he slapped me on the pussy.
I twisted my head, so my groan of pleasure was muffled by my arm.
He spanked me over and over, my ass, my pussy, until all of it thrummed, pleasure coursing through my body.
He kept going, driving me as far as he could, punishing me with both pleasure and pain, and when it all got too much, when I was right on the verge of telling him to stop or I wouldn’t be able to sit down for a week, his tongue slicked between my legs, taking all the pain away.
I couldn’t stop the moan. I had no idea where Sindy was, but I hoped if anyone walked past outside, they would assume my moans were hers.
Because I couldn’t stop now. I was pretty sure if Carlos himself walked into this room right now, Dax would have just kept going, fucking me with his tongue, devouring me from behind, pleasuring me now to make up for the pain he’d caused.
He worked my clit, licking and sucking it, and then speared me with his tongue. Pressed it inside me, his stubbly beard scratching between my legs in a way that only increased the pleasure. His fingers dug into my thighs, holding me in place, and his tongue dipped back farther, rimming my ass.
“Oh my God,” I moaned, the pleasure there a shock of surprise.
He pulled away, fingers taking the place of his tongue, gathering up the silky arousal weeping from my pussy and spreading back to my asshole so he could play with it.
“I should fuck you here,” he groaned, spreading my cheeks with one hand and fingering the tight rear hole with the other. “Remind you who you actually belong to.”
I’d never done anal before, but I would have agreed to anything in that moment. If he’d asked to fuck me while lying on hot coals, I would have. Because he was right.
It wasn’t Carlos who owned me. Carlos couldn’t make me come undone with just a single look.
But Dax could.
The way Carlos dragged me around parties with his fingernails digging into my arm, I was nothing more than eye candy.
It was Dax who I would get down on my knees for. Dax I would give my entire body to in any way he wanted, including the places I’d never touched before.
“You can have me any way you want me,” I said breathlessly, grinding back, taking the tip of his finger there, showing him I would do whatever he wanted.
He groaned, working me a little longer, his other hand joining in with three thick, unforgiving fingers in my pussy.
With both sensitive areas full of his touch, I couldn’t control the need growing inside me.
It rose from my toes, swirled around my bloodstream, taking ripples of pleasure to every cell in my body.
“I need to come,” I moaned, none too softly.
He punished me by cracking his palm across my ass once more.