Chapter 12
While the end of my date with Ronan had been up there as the most humiliating thing to happen to me in my life, he had been so sweet about it all and made me see the funny side.
Once we’d established my allergic reaction wasn’t causing my throat to close and my impending death, he sorted me out with some antihistamines, and the swelling went down after a few hours.
I hadn’t planned on staying the night, but since it took so long for my eyelids to revert back to a human size, it was pretty late by the time I’d been in a fit state to drive home.
Ronan had suggested I stay over when we were halfway through watching Green Mile, and I was having such a good time with him, I ended up agreeing.
I had thoroughly enjoyed round two and then round three in the morning, when my face didn’t look like a melted wellington.
Once I left his on Thursday morning, he texted me to say what a good time he’d had.
So it didn’t look like he was about to disappear into the ether and leave me ghosted now that we’d done the deed, which I was more than relieved about.
I was treating myself to a relaxing Saturday evening of pampering and was just getting out of a long soak in the bath when Dad shouted down the corridor, “Niamh is here, love.”
I grabbed my phone as I wrapped myself in a towel. We rarely just dropped in on each other without checking the other was home first. Mainly because if you weren’t home, the visitor was still likely stuck at your house for an hour minimum, chatting to your family.
I had three missed calls from Niamh, two from Ella, and a message from Ella saying;
“Ring me now—shit’s gone south with Niamh and Dermot.”
I must have turned my phone on plane mode by accident while I was relaxing. I opened the door and started heading to my room.
“NIAMH - COME DOWN TO MY ROOM!” I yelled up the hall so she could hear me, and I heard her stomp down the hall a second later.
I turned in surprise as she slammed my bedroom door shut and did a double take at the state of her.
She had mascara blotched all down her face, her eyes and nose were red and swollen from crying, and her long balayage hair looked like she’d run her fingers through it a hundred times.
She and Dermot had fought plenty over the years and she’d come to us for bitching sessions and moral support, but I’d never seen her like this before.
“Niamh, what is it?” I gasped, moving to pull her into a big hug immediately.
“He dumped me,” she whispered, and I pulled back to look at her as she repeated the words, sure I’d misheard. Niamh and Dermot were the strongest, most boring, dependable couple I knew. They’d been going out since puberty and had plans to get engaged in three years when they were both qualified.
“What happened?” I demanded, still not sure if this was just a fight or if I should be taking this more seriously. More seriously meaning hunting down Dermot with a shotgun.
“He texted me. He broke up with me over text.” She said it like she was dazed, like she still couldn’t believe it was happening.
“Maybe he’s having some kind of freak out, no one breaks up by text after eight years together,” I scoffed, but she shook her head.
“I’ve just been to see him. He told me he’s done; he’s not in love with me anymore. I thought it was just a freak out too, or he was sour over something… but he’s gone so odd lately.”
“What do you mean odd?” I was still trying to piece this together in my head, those two were the last people I’d expect to break up. Jesus, if they weren’t getting on it’d be more likely to find them in couples counselling than calling it quits.
“He’s been so cold with me; it was like talking to a different person. He was just... detached I suppose.” She shrugged as she wiped at her eyes. “His drinking has been out of control lately and he’s been making these jabs at me when he’s been drunk. I think there’s someone else.”
“What? Did he say something?” I demanded. If he’d cheated on her I really would hunt him down.
“No, but I just have a feeling.”
My bedroom door banged open as Ella rushed into the room. Her eyes found Niamh’s and widened at the state she was in; Niamh had called her with a full run down before landing at my door so Ella already knew everything.
“Girl, I’m so sorry,” Ella said softly. She had accepted this a lot quicker than I did, but I guess she’d had the drive over to process it.
“What do you need us to do, girl? Do you want to stay here so we can have a movie marathon?” I asked her, not sure where to go from here now that we’d confirmed Dermot really had just heartlessly dumped her.
Niamh nodded her head sadly as we gathered her in a group hug, still in shock the turn of events this weekend was taking.
********
Niamh came back to Limerick with us after calling in sick to work saying she couldn’t face it.
Just when I was starting to relax about the welfare of Ella and Sara, Niamh ended up being dumped by the love of her life in the most callous way I’d ever heard of.
I was also consumed by my own dramas, the thought spinning around in my mind that I’d now slept with both Connor and Ronan and how confused my feelings for both now were.
I couldn’t deny that my feelings for each of them were strong.
Connor felt like a siren song pulling me home, and despite every bit of pain he’d caused before, being with him that night had felt right.
Then there was Ronan, warm like a sunrise - he made my heart feel light and my soul happy.
Just being near him made me smile, not to mention the extreme sex appeal and the effect he had on my libido.
Both wanted me, that much was clear. But after sleeping with them, what did it all mean?
I’d left myself exposed, feelings had surfaced and I was living in dread the hammer would fall soon - waiting for the disconnection, the cold shoulder from them now that the chase was over, and the realisation that Róisín Tierney wasn’t that special after all.
Later that night, I sat up in bed confused as to what had woken me.
It felt like I’d only been asleep five minutes, but the house was silent and the early fingers of sunrise were creeping across the room.
My phone vibrated again, as I realised what had disturbed my slumber and I patted around, grumbling at whoever was calling at this ungodly hour.
I did a double take when I saw it was Mam and the time was 6 am.
Panic hit me hard. She’d never call this early.
“Mam? What is it?” I gasped into the phone.
“There’s been an accident, love. We need you to come home,” she said softly, but her voice was hoarse. “It’s Shea.”
“What accident? What happened? Is he okay?” I spluttered, already jumping out of bed and pulling on my tracksuit bottoms.
“It was an accident at Lynch’s farm, love.
Me, Dad, and Fionn are heading to the hospital now.
He’s in Cork University Hospital. We just got a call the tractor turned over, he’d been helping John Lynch this morning in the field before he started work.
The ambulance took him there, but they said it was bad, love.
I need you to wake Ella and get her to drive you home. Okay, pet?”
I blinked several times before speaking. “But Mam, he’s going to be okay, right?” The fact she didn’t reassure me was making me hyperventilate. Mam wouldn’t want me worried. I heard her hesitation.
“I don’t know, darling. We’re all going to pray with everything we’ve got, okay? Now get the girls up and get yourself home safe. Just stay calm, and we’ll be together soon.”
I nodded a few times before realizing she couldn’t see me. “Okay, I’ll get Ella and leave straight away.”
“That’s the girl. I’ll see you soon, my love.” She choked out and ended the call.
The room spun as panic took hold. Shea was in an accident.
Mam hadn’t said it’d be okay once. She said I had to come home right now.
My heart thundered, and it felt like my stomach was a cement block as I tried to steady myself.
I staggered to the hall and burst into Ella’s room.
She jumped and sat up at my loud entrance, Niamh following suit in the bed beside her.
“What the fuck is going on?” she shouted, groping for her table lamp before flicking it on. “Why are you... Róis? Róisín, what is it?” Niamh rushed to grab my arms. I stared at her, blood rushing from my head, making my vision spin.
“Shea’s in hospital,” I whispered. “He’s been in an accident on Lynch’s farm. Mam didn’t say he’d be okay, she just told me to come home now.”
Ella’s eyes widened as she pushed out of the bed and gripped my shoulder, tears welling. “Okay, that doesn’t mean he won’t be okay, Róis. Maybe he broke a leg or some ribs or something. Don’t jump to the worst without knowing.” She reassured me, and I clung to her words desperately.
I clung to them even as my brain screamed they were lies.
Mam wouldn’t worry me unless there was reason.
If it was minor, she would have said all the things Ella was saying now.
She hadn’t. She just didn’t want to say how bad it was over the phone.
I choked as a loud sob ripped from me, collapsing onto Ella’s floor.
The sobs were so frantic I couldn’t catch my breath, my head spinning again.
Please let me pass out, let the dizziness take me, so this wasn’t real - so I couldn’t feel this cracking inside, like I’d break into a million pieces.