Chapter 22 #2
Kelly Clarkson’s Breakaway was on repeat in the car and the forty-five-minute drive passed in a blink as those intrusive thoughts stung my brain over and over again, like wasps attacking in August. Soon, I was pushing my way into the travel agents on Patrick’s street without pausing to question what the fuck I was doing.
Within a half hour, I was walking back out the door with my flight itinerary under my arm.
I felt a buzz of excitement in my veins so intense it was like electricity coursing through my body.
I was going. I was taking the plunge and getting the fuck out of here with Sinéad and Niamh.
Every decision that weighed on me, every ounce of pain I’d cloistered in my chest since Shea’s death, every hesitation I’d felt over my feelings for Connor and Ronan just floated away. I quickly shot off a message to Sinéad
Róisín - I’ll see you in Dublin airport in 2 weeks time Sin
followed by a picture of my ticket.
I didn’t even know where the fuck we were going once we arrived in Hanoi, but I was sure she’d fill me in now I was along for the ride.
I guess we’d find out if Niamh was serious once and for all now that the wheels were in motion too.
. no time like the present. I snapped a picture of me holding my travel details and uploaded it to my Instagram story.
As I made my way back to my car, my phone started hopping with messages.
The family group chat, along with the girls’ one, pinged non-stop, and I smiled as I went to check my messages.
Mam was going to absolutely flip.. I didn’t think she knew where Hanoi was.
Thinking about it, I wasn’t certain I could locate it on a map myself.
Niamh was the first message to reply on our group chat.
Niamh – Fuckit, I’m booking today!
My grin got impossibly bigger at that, and I guffawed a laugh at the expletives coming from Ella and Sara.
My phone started ringing in my hand and I disconnected Connor’s call.
Two minutes later, I did the same with Ronan’s.
When their messages inevitably started pinging, I simply turned off my notifications.
I didn’t want anything to dull this feeling of soaring the skies like I had wings of my own.
The ache in my chest already felt so much lighter and even Mam’s message in the family group that I better be fucking be joking, and Sorcha’s emotional message that I couldn’t miss the birth, couldn’t bring me down from that high.
As I walked back to my car, I stopped on Parliament Bridge and watched the water of the River Lee rush beneath me, feeling the most content I’d felt since before this shit show of a year started.
Not worried about how anyone else would take it, what the repercussions of this decision might be.
Knowing that no matter what, I’d made a choice that was just for me.
I’d finally realised that I didn’t need to be adrift because I didn’t have my hero around anymore since Shea died.
Sometimes you need to be your own hero. And I finally felt free.
THE END