Chapter 25 You Don’t Get To Choose When #2
He shrugged, smirking. “Firstly don't speak as though you've ever been normal. Secondly, Where’s the fun in that? Watch this—two ladder removals, and boom. Simpocalypse.”
I shoved his arm. “You’re evil.”
“You love me,” he shot back, clicking rapidly on the screen as one of his Sims flailed in the pool. “Besides, you used to do this too. Don’t act all innocent.”
“That was different,” I protested. “It was Sims 2 and I was, like, ten I couldn’t even do long division yet.”
“And clearly a bad influence.” He pushed the laptop toward me. “Here. You want a turn at first-degree murder? Or are you just gonna judge me from the sidelines?”
I hesitated, staring at the screen. The little digital people moved around obliviously, their bright, cheery world a stark contrast to how I felt. “Fine,” I muttered, grabbing the mouse. “But we’re starting fresh. Let's make the sim have a family no killing anyone this time.”
“Boring,” he groaned, but leaned back to let me take over.
We spent hours arguing or rather insignificant little details like the pattern of wallpaper, window placement and whether or not the house should have a door not.
“You have no taste,” I told him, clicking furiously to delete the third karaoke machine he’d added to the living room.
“And you have no vision,” he shot back, grinning.
It was easy to forget everything else when I was with Soleh, his carefree attitude was contagious in the best way. But as the game autosaved and the screen dimmed, reality crept back in.
I glanced toward the hallway where my dad’s office was. The door was shut, like always, a faint murmur of his voice leaking through the crack as he spoke on yet another work call.
“You gonna talk to him?” Soleh asked, catching my glance.
I shrugged, clicking idly through the game menu. “What’s the point? He won’t really listen.”
Soleh leaned back, stretching his long legs across the coffee table. “You should still try. Otherwise, he’s just gonna keep thinking everything’s fine and last I checked, you were the one that taught me that the first step in solving A problem is having the courage to voice it.”
I sighed, setting the laptop aside. “You’re too smart for your own good, you know that?”
He smirked. “Runs in the family.”
“Debatable,” I muttered, standing. “you’ve encountered that dude with our DNA named Cahya, right?”
“Ah yes against my own will,” Soleh affirmed. “I heard Bae’s in town, I’d love to see her, she’d so murder sims with me.”
“Yeah she is, she’s staying with Wyn and Cahya, I’ll let her know you wanna hang out,” I assured him.
I made my way to Dad’s office, knocking lightly before pushing the door open. He was at his desk, typing away on his laptop, a headset hooked over one ear.
“Dad,” I said, stepping inside.
He held up a finger, signaling for me to wait as he wrapped up his call. I leaned against the doorframe, my arms crossed, watching as he rattled off something about budgets and deadlines.
Finally, he took off the headset, glancing at me with a distracted smile. “Yesoh. Quite the surprise visit, What’s going on?”
I hesitated, suddenly unsure of what I wanted to say. “I just… I don’t know. Ballet’s been a lot lately. Like, more than usual. Sometimes I feel really left out in that environment.”
He nodded, his expression sympathetic but distant. “That’s how it is at your level, right? You’ve always been good under pressure.”
“Yeah, but—” I started, then stopped. His phone buzzed on the desk, and his eyes flicked to it instinctively.
“Sorry,” he said, picking it up and typing a quick reply. “What were you saying?”
I swallowed the lump rising in my throat. “Never mind. It’s not important.”
“Of course it’s important,” he said, setting the phone down. But his voice lacked conviction, and I couldn’t tell if he was trying to convince me or himself.
“I should go,” I said, backing toward the door. “Soleh’s waiting.”
“Okay,” he said, already turning back to his screen. “But let’s catch up soon, okay?”
“Sure,” I murmured, stepping out and closing the door behind me.
Soleh looked up as I returned to the living room, his gaze sharp and knowing. “That bad, huh?”
I flopped onto the couch beside him, grabbing a pillow to hug. “He’s busy, as usual.”
“His loss,” Soleh said simply, nudging me with his elbow. “You’re cooler anyway.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, even as my chest felt heavy. “Thanks, Soleh only you would say that unironically.”
“Anytime, Soh,” he said, grinning. “Now, let’s make this mansion a haunted one. Gotta keep things interesting.”
I rolled my eyes but picked up the controller. At least with Soleh, I didn’t have to try so hard. He just loved and accepted me as I was, always had and always would.
The room glowed with the kind of annoyance that penetrated the walls of my mind, no painkiller could aid this kind of headache.
The stress of my audition, of my emotionally distant yet financially stable father, and the fact that Wynter had decided to wreak havoc yesterday.
Remi and Sydney thought I was losing it and they were certainly not wrong, my girls rarely ever were.
Remi glanced up from her phone, raising an eyebrow. “You’re either sulking again or one minor inconvenience away from being sent to the loony bin.”
“I’m not sulking,” I muttered, staring at the ceiling.
“What the heck happened between you and Wynter this time?” Remi wondered,
“It was so bad!” I huffed,
“It couldn’t have been that bad come on now—”
“He tried to— I thought he— was going to kiss me. For real this time.” I foretold,
“Yesoh and we're certain this isn’t another figment of your imagination?” Sydney glanced around the room,
“What?” I gasped, “Now why on earth would I make something like that up?”
“Well, you are known to get a bit creative when it comes to scenarios between you and Wyn.” Sydney reminded me.
“I know what I experienced and I know what I saw in his eyes, he wanted it, for real this time. And I chickened out and stopped him.” I assured them,
“And why is that? You’ve been plotting on that dick since you were old enough to fathom attraction.” Remi reminded me and Sydney laughed. “Personally? I would’ve just hopped on it and worried about the consequences later.”
“No guys, I’m not going to allow any advances from him until I know that he likes me for certain. And that this isn’t just some phase that exists in passing.” I explicated.
“And this morality dilemma is what has you sulking up and down the dorm?” Sydney questioned.
“I already told you I’m not sulking!”
“You are,” Sydney chimed in, her voice teasing as she leaned against the desk. “And we’re not letting you mope tonight.”
I turned my head, frowning. “What do you mean?”
“Cahya and Jax are going to the club,” Remi said, grinning. “We’re tagging along.”
“The club? Seriously?” I groaned, already picturing sweaty bodies and bad music. “I do ballet and play the sims for fun what the hell do you think I know about the club?”
“Absolutely nothing which is why we’re being so insistent on it!” Remi seconded.
“You cannot be serious right now.” I anticipated.
“Yes, seriously,” Sydney said, crossing her arms. “Auditions are over, and you need to let loose. Besides, we can’t have you sitting here wallowing in existential dread all night over a dude whose middle name is Andy.”
“Uncalled for, absolutely.” I giggled.
Remi clapped her hands, looking entirely too excited. “We’re going to dress up, look hot, and remind the world who we were before we decided to get an education that took over lives.”
“And the who we are in question is swimming in student loans but I digress—” I sighed.
“Not me though y'all can go ahead and stay safe out there.” Sydney cleared her trust fund baby throat.
I sighed, sitting up. “Fine. But if this night sucks, I’m blaming both of you.”
Within an hour, we were out the door. I’d let Remi raid my closet, and she’d pulled out a sleek black dress I’d barely worn, claiming it was perfect. Tight in all the right places with a low back and a slit up the side, it wasn’t my usual choice, but tonight wasn’t about usual.
I wasn’t a drinker at all but I needed a drink that day for the sheer sake of my sanity.
By the time we got to the club called Fever, the music was already pounding, a relentless beat that seemed to vibrate in my chest. Cahya and Jax were waiting inside, and as soon as they spotted us, Jax looped an arm around Sydney’s waist, pulling her into an easy kiss.
“Look at you!” Cahya said, clearly tipsy his eyes sweeping over my outfit in surprise that I was even there. “My baby sister at a function that isn’t mandatory? Somebody came to slay tonight.”
“Firstly, I was led to believe that this function was mandatory. Secondly, Either you’ve had one too many already or you’re hanging around Jax too much and he’s been teaching you Sydney’s lingo.” I chuckled.
I couldn’t help but laugh truly, brushing it off as we made our way to the bar. Sydney and Jax disappeared onto the dance floor almost immediately, leaving Cahya, Remi, and me to sip drinks and people-watch.
At some point, I wandered off, needing space from the crowd and the noise. I ended up at the bar, where a guy around my age was ordering a drink. He caught my eye and smiled—an easy, genuine smile that instantly put me at ease.
“And then I saw a man in a fur suit on the subway and thought I’d stepped into some freaky matrix.” Arjuna was his name and he chuckled, “And when I told a friend of mine wanna guess what he said?”
“Average Thursday morning in New York?” I guessed,
“Exactly and you could imagine my shock that it’s perfectly normal to be sitting next to a dude in a fox costume at nine in the morning.” He told me and I laughed. “This could never happen in Jakarta.”
“It might but all the aunties would post it on Facebook and demand answers and legal action!” I corrected.
“God you’re so easy to talk to. It’s so nice.” He sighed.