3. Aspyn
ASPYN
“ Y ou may now kiss your bride, Cody,” the officiant proclaims. Tara’s husband, Cody, takes her into his arms and kisses her deeply.
He dips her, nearly knocking her right off her feet, and I hear her sweet giggle as Cody easily tips her back upright.
The officiant announces them as a married couple for the first time, and upon hearing her new last name with a “Mrs.” in front of it, she shrieks, “Oh my god!” and throws her arms around Cody again.
A chorus of giggles comes from the front row around me, where I’m seated with the rest of the bridesmaids. As Tara passes by, I hand her bouquet back, and the two of them walk back down the aisle as a newly married couple.
Tara pumps her bouquet over her head and sways her hips as they celebrate and dance their way down the red velvet aisle.
Despite what’s happening in my personal life, my heart swells with joy for Tara and Cody finally saying “I do” to one another.
I hope they last forever. They’re perfect together.
Some couples can go the distance; I still believe that.
My eyes dart around, gazing at my surroundings. We’re probably at around 8,000 feet elevation, and the scenery is beautiful, filled with aspen trees, my namesake, just beginning to turn colors as fall approaches.
Behind the venue is a tiny bridge over a creek leading up to narrow trails, and a few people on horseback navigate up the mountain.
An abundance of clouds help cover up the unseasonably warm sun, but don’t threaten any rain.
The sound of fast-moving water mingles with the gentle croaks of distant frogs and the lively birdsong overhead; nature creates a comforting symphony to soothe me.
I turn my face to the sky and soak up the peaceful vibes of this gorgeous Saturday.
I’d poured all of myself into Sean for a decade. Even though we’d just ended, there is a promise of something better—something happier—on the horizon, wafting through the clean mountain air. Don’t endings usually lead to beginnings? Something tells me I won’t be waiting long for mine.
I’ve got my life together if you don’t count my love life—working in my field of bereavement counseling and having great friends, an active social life, and hobbies I enjoy.
And with the hope of a new beginning washing over me, I turn to Sean and give him my elbow for the last time, allowing him to escort me down the aisle to a cocktail hour on the lodge’s patio.
It’s scheduled for an hour while Cody and Tara take photos, and then the rest of the bridal party and close family will be beckoned to the clearing by the creek for less intimate photos later.
“Hey, Aspyn!” Deacon’s brother, Steele, apprises me warmly from the end of the aisle, and Sean passes me off to him with a look of disgust. He’s never approved of my friendship with either of the Ambrose brothers, though he’s never outright said it.
He just encouraged me to be more of a “girl’s girl” and spend time with my girlfriends.
Despite coming down on me for having guy friends, Sean had constantly spoken about women at work, and had even been caught texting one inappropriately in the middle of the night.
But that’s Sean: rules for thee, not for me.
“What a lovely wedding, don’t you think?” Steele takes my elbow and leads me toward the bar, which is exactly where I want to go.
“Perfect. Exactly what I want someday, with a man like Cody who values things like warmth, loyalty, and fidelity. Someone who’ll cherish me.” My smile feels broken. “Maybe fewer guests, just a few of the most beloved. But yes, it was lovely and they make a beautiful couple.”
His hand moves to the small of my back as he moves me forward in line to the bar.
He lowers his voice to tell me, “I hear a certain someone hasn’t quite lived up to his promises as a partner. Not as into the loyalty bit as you are. I’m sorry to hear about that. And don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul.”
“It’s all right. It will come out sooner rather than later.” I sigh, then order a Moscow Mule. “How’ve you been? Haven’t heard from you in a while.”
“Good. You know, keeping busy. Back at school now, and I miss the summer like hell.” Steele cracks a straight smile with his pearly-white teeth and shrugs.
“It’s what I love doing, though. Oh, don’t look, but Sean’s glare is burning a hole into your back from behind us. Pretend I said something hilarious.”
I lift my face toward Steele and laugh voraciously, tipping my head back and feeling my curls bounce as he joins in. It almost sounds real.
“Shit, he’s coming this way,” Steele tells me with a grimace only I’m meant to see. Sean comes up behind me and palms my ass, which makes me want to knee him in the balls.
I exhale sharply and whisper, “Get your fucking hand off me or I will bite your fingers off.”
“Jesus, woman, have you gone insane?” Sean looks at me like I have three heads.
“Not at all, asshole. I have more clarity than ever. Now, get that scowl off your face. Pretend you’re a doting big brother.
It’s your sister’s big day!” I elbow him as Wendy and her boyfriend Jett, who’s also Sean’s cousin, approach and stand around the tall circular table with us.
Steele just sort of sways and looks uncomfortable as he drinks his own Moscow Mule.
Throwing mine back, I’m grateful for the alcohol’s burn, and I guzzle it down.
Steele grabs my drink and goes off to refill it while we all engage in friendly banter, eventually leading to Jett telling Sean, “Man, you hit the jackpot with Aspyn. She’s hilarious, speaks fluent sarcasm, and puts up with your miserable ass.
Frankly, she’s too good for you. Just like Wendy is way too good for me. ”
He leans in and kisses Wendy as a dour look crosses Sean’s face.
He’s quiet at least, broody looking, his dark curls carefully coiffed back with gel, dark circles beneath his eyes.
He looks like shit, but he deserves to. I hope the pull-out sofa with all its lumps bothered his back all night long. Asshole.
Sean could probably sense the daggers shooting out of my eyes as we left the house together and drove up in separate cars.
I’d had the urge to crash my Durango into his precious Audi, and I may have, if I hadn’t wanted to be on time for hair and makeup.
It’s not that I’m crazy, emotional, or unhinged—I’m just fucking furious.
Furious I wasted ten of my very best years on the biggest dickhead in the whole state of Colorado.
“Well, thanks, Jett. I think he’s a fortunate guy too,” I utter while a shadow appears on Sean’s features.
He stays quiet. “No one’s luckier than Cody.
Did you see his smile when Tara’s father walked her down the aisle?
I always watch the groom. I’ve never seen him smile like that before.
Talk about knowing how lucky he is. Tara’s a catch. ”
“I saw him, too. Like, he couldn’t believe Tara would marry him. That’s the look you better have, Jett.” Wendy turns her face up and kisses him a few seconds longer than I expect her to.
It’s an effort to keep a smile pasted on my face, but in the presence of a couple who truly loves one another, I can’t help but let my smile slip for a second.
I want what they have, but instead, I have this pissant cheater.
Plus, I’m about to start over and build my life from the ground up without the man I’d been with since I was nineteen.
It’s not that I feel I can’t do it, but I’m annoyed that I have to.
Sean had been my first. My only. God only knows how many women Sean has been with during our long relationship. So far, I only know about two, though I’m sure it was more of a pattern than I’d realized.
The first time I caught him texting a gorgeous blonde, he insisted they never met up, and he “just dipped his toes into the water” to see if he was “still desirable.” Then, he promptly turned it around on me for making him feel unlovable and undesired.
I could never give him enough sex to make him happy.
Nurse Q being so ready and hot for his ‘giant’ dick is much harder for him to talk himself out of.
He hadn’t tried this morning. I’m sure his affair with her will continue—just a niggling feeling I have.
I’d had my suspicions about a coworker of his too, whom I’d caught him texting at 3 a.m., but I’d given him the benefit of the doubt.
“How’s the babymaking going?” Wendy asks, sipping her champagne as Steele returns with my refilled drink. My stomach gurgles.
“We’ve been trying.” Sean winks like he wants everyone to know how often we’re fucking, which grosses me out so much I almost throw up into my drink. Gulping hard, the nausea passes.
“You know, sometimes the universe knows what you need and what you don’t. We haven’t had any success, but I’ve been checked out, so I think it’s probably time to have Sean see his doc, if only to test how strong his swimmers are.”
I try to bite back a laugh at my evil admission.
There is some truth to it: we didn’t try to prevent pregnancy and the doctor had given me an all-clear to start trying last year.
It hadn’t happened yet, thank gods. Thankfully, Sean would never be between my thighs again, so I figure the gods themselves had spared me from eighteen or more years of attachment to Sean. Good riddance .
“That’s too bad. Maybe you just need to try harder.” Wendy wiggles her eyebrows suggestively while I try not to vomit at the thought.
“I think we’re good.” I pat her hand on the table and ask if I can refill her champagne. My Mule is gone, so I grab our empties and walk to the bar, where Deacon leans against a nearby tree looking casual and handsome as always.
The sun peeks out from behind the clouds, shining brightly on his tall, muscular figure like a natural spotlight. Squinting into the bright afternoon, I make my way over to him.