Chapter 9 - Diesel
Two hours until I have to leave everything I just found.
June's pressed against my chest, her breathing uneven, and I can feel wetness seeping through my shirt. She's crying silently, trying to hold it together, and it's breaking something in me.
"Hey." I tilt her face up, brush tears away with my thumbs. "Look at me."
She does, and her eyes are red-rimmed and terrified.
"I'm coming back," I tell her. Firm. Certain. "I swear to God, June, I'm coming back to you."
"You can't know that." Her voice cracks. "You're riding into a war zone. Anything could happen."
"Then I'll fight harder." I kiss her forehead, her cheeks, her trembling lips. "I've got too much to lose now. Too much waiting for me here. I'm not dying tonight."
"Jackson…"
"No." I frame her face with both hands. "Listen to me.
I've spent twenty years in love with you.
Twenty years watching you from a distance, convincing myself I'd never have this.
And now I do. Now I know what it feels like to hold you, to kiss you, to be inside you.
You think I'm giving that up? You think anything the Vipers throw at me is worse than living without this? "
Fresh tears spill down her cheeks. "I can't lose you. I can't bury another person I love."
"You won't." I pull her closer, wrap my arms around her so tight she can barely breathe. "I'm coming home. To you. To this. To whatever future we're building together."
She's shaking in my arms, fingers clutching my shirt like I might disappear if she lets go.
"Promise me," she whispers. "Promise me you'll be careful."
"I promise you. Again. Over and over. " I kiss the top of her head. "I'll have my brothers watching my back. Phoenix has planned this down to the minute. We're going in smart, going in prepared. And I'm coming out alive because I've got you waiting for me."
We stay like that for a long time. Just holding each other while the clock ticks down. I memorize the curve of her spine under my palm, the smell of her hair, the sound of her breathing gradually steadying.
At 10:45, I force myself to move. Pull away gently and start getting dressed. June sits on the bed watching me, wrapped in my t-shirt, looking small and scared.
I pull on my jeans, my boots, the flannel she stripped off me hours ago. Strap on my shoulder holster, check my Glock. The weight settles against my ribs, reminder of what I'm walking into.
"I hate that you have to go," June says, holding tears back.
"I know." I sit beside her on the bed, take her hand. "But ending this tonight means we don't have to keep looking over our shoulders. Means I can actually build something with you without worrying that they’re going to use you to get to me."
She squeezes my fingers. "If you come back—" She stops, corrects herself. "When you come back, we need to talk. Really talk. About what this is, what we're doing, how we move forward."
"Yeah." I bring her hand to my lips, kiss her knuckles. "We will. We'll figure it all out together."
"I love you." The words come out fierce. "I need you to know that. Whatever happens, I love you, Jackson Reed."
"I love you too." I cup her face, kiss her one more time. Pour everything I'm feeling into it: the love, the fear, the promise. "And I'm coming back to you. To these arms. To this bed. To whatever life we're building."
When I finally pull away, we're both breathing hard.
"Walk me out?" I ask.
She nods and follows me downstairs. We don't say much. Just exist in each other's space for the last few minutes we have.
At the front door, I turn to face her one more time. She's backlit by the hallway light, still wearing my shirt, hair messy from my hands, lips swollen from my mouth. Most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
"I'll text you when I can," I tell her. "Might not be until it's over, but I'll let you know I'm okay."
"Please do." Her voice is small. "I'll be up all night waiting."
"Try to sleep."
"Not happening."
Fair enough. I wouldn't be able to sleep either if our positions were reversed.
I kiss her one more time, then force myself to step back. "Lock the door behind me. Don't open it for anyone except me or someone from the club."
"I will."
"I love you, June."
"I love you too." Tears stream down her face again. "Come home to me."
"Always."
I walk out before I lose my nerve. Before I say fuck the mission and stay here with her where it's safe, warm and everything I've ever wanted.
The door closes behind me. I hear the lock click. Stand on her porch for five seconds just breathing, getting my head straight.
Then I head for my bike.
The ride back to the clubhouse takes fifteen minutes but feels like five. My mind's split between June and what's coming, the woman I left crying in her doorway and the war I'm riding into at midnight.
*I'm coming back.*
I must. No other option.
The clubhouse is lit up when I arrive, every window glowing. Bikes are parked in neat rows. Brothers checking equipment, loading weapons, going through final preparations. The energy is tense, focused. Everyone knows what's at stake.
I park my bike and head inside.
The common room is chaos. Canvas is on the couch with his injured leg propped up, looking pissed off and resigned in equal measure.
Eden's beside him, one hand on his thigh, clearly trying to keep him calm.
Brick and Rosie are at the bar. Judge has Nora and Grace near the hallway.
Grace is signing something rapidly and Judge is responding just as fast, making her giggle despite the tension.
Phoenix stands near the chapel door talking with Ranger and Saint. All three look up when I enter.
"Diesel," Phoenix calls. "You good?"
"Yeah." I head toward them. "Ready to ride."
Canvas catches my eye from the couch and scowls. "This is bullshit. I should be going with you."
"You should be healing," Phoenix says without looking at him. "That leg won't hold up in a fight, and you know it."
"I can fight!"
"You can protect." Phoenix's voice goes firm. "You've got the most important job tonight, Canvas. Everyone we love is staying here. You and Mariah are our last line of defense."
Canvas's jaw works, but he nods. "Fine. But you all better come back in one piece or I'm tracking down whoever hurt you and finishing the job myself."
"Noted." Phoenix almost smiles. "Quinn and Mariah are on their way over. After they arrive, no one leaves, no one opens the door except for us."
The women all nod. Grace signs something I don't catch, but Judge's expression softens.
Saint appears at my elbow, voice low. "Things go well?"
I glance at him. "Yeah. They did."
"Good." He claps my shoulder. "Now you've got another reason to come back in one piece."
"I'm coming back no matter what," I tell him. Mean it. "Got too much waiting for me now."
"That's what I like to hear." Saint's smile doesn't quite reach his eyes. He's riding out to potentially kill his own brother tonight. Can't imagine what's going through his head.
"You good?" I ask him.
"No." His honesty is blunt. "But I will be once Demon's dead, and this is over."
Fair enough.
Phoenix checks his watch. "Eleven-thirty. Everyone gear up. Final weapons check. We roll out in twenty minutes."
The room shifts. Brothers checking guns, strapping on holsters, pulling on cuts. The women gather together near the hallway, trying to look brave and failing. Even Grace seems to sense the tension, staying close to Nora.
I do my own check. Glock secure in shoulder holster. Backup piece at my ankle. Knife in my boot. Phone in my pocket, turned on silent but accessible in case I get a chance to text June.
Phoenix appears beside me. "You tell her?"
"Yeah."
"How'd she take it?"
"About as well as you'd expect." I adjust my holster. "She's terrified. But she understands why it has to be tonight."
Phoenix nods. "Ivy's the same. Keeps trying to be strong, but I can see it in her eyes. They're all scared."
"They should be." I meet his gaze. "This is dangerous as hell and we all know it."
"Yeah." He checks his own weapons. "But we're ending it tonight. That's got to count for something."
Judge’s voice cuts through the room. "Brothers. Circle up. It’s almost time."
We all do. Even Canvas.
"Tonight we end this war," Phoenix starts. "We ride out together. We fight together. And we come home together. Nobody gets left behind. Nobody goes rogue. We stick to the plan, we watch each other's backs, and we make sure Demon doesn't walk away from this. Remember… From ash, we rise!"
"From ash, we rise!" Everyone rumbles.
Phoenix checks his watch again. "Eleven-fifty. Mount up. We ride in five."
The brothers start heading for the door. I take one last look around the clubhouse, at the women gathered together trying to be strong, at the home we've all built here.
Then I follow my brothers outside into the night.
The bikes fire up one by one. Eight engines roaring in unison. I settle onto my seat, feel the familiar rumble between my legs, and think about June waiting for me to come home.
*I'm coming back.*
Phoenix raises his fist. We all respond in kind. Then he drops it and we roll out into the darkness, eight brothers riding toward war.
The last thing I see in my mirrors is the clubhouse lights fading behind us.
The last thing I think about is June's face when I promised to come home.
And I will.
No matter what it takes.