Chapter 34
34
AGE 20
“ U gh, that feels so good,” Vivien says, lying face down on the bed as I straddle her naked body from behind and massage her tense back muscles.
“You’re studying way too hard. Your shoulders are tied into knots, Hollywood.”
“I want to get good grades,” she mumbles into her pillow as my fingers work the kinks out of her back.
“You’ll ace these exams, and you know what it means.” Sitting back a little, I drizzle some of the massage oil into the crack between her cheeks. “Your arse will finally be mine.” I’ve been dying to take her anal virginity since she told me she’s never had a dick in her tight hole. Knowing I’ll claim this first cranks my arousal to the max. She’s understandably nervous, so we’ve been indulging in a little arse play in preparation for the big event, which Vivien has determined will happen after she finishes her exams.
Rubbing the oil around the edge of her puckered hole, I wish I could claim her here now, but my girl sets the pace. Always.
She lifts her head and looks back at me. “I’m still a little nervous, but I trust you.”
Those words both excite and disgust me. “Have I ever left you feeling anything but good after we fuck around?” I sink the tip of my pinkie inside her arse.
A little gasp trickles into the air, and her face flushes. “I’m always floating on a cloud. You fuck me real good, Dil. Best sex of my life.”
I’m gloating on the inside. Something I’m better than you at. In fact, I’d go all out and say I’m a hundred percent better at being her boyfriend than Reeve Lancaster ever was.
Pushing my little finger in a bit more, I lean down to kiss her on the mouth. “Then trust me on this. I will blow your mind. It’ll be the ultimate post-exam high.”
I toy with her arse for a few more minutes before cleaning up, and then I finish the massage and tuck her into bed while I go to the kitchen to make her some hot chocolate.
“Hey, broski,” Ash says, looking up from where she’s stacking the dishwasher when I enter the kitchen.
“Sick of me yet, little sis?” I tease as I pour milk into a saucepan and set it on the hob.
Since Viv and I started fucking, I basically live here now. Apart from our regular Friday night Whelans date, we haven’t gone out much the past few weeks because Viv is studying. If I wasn’t sleeping over, we wouldn’t get to spend much time together at all. The band has picked up a regular mid-week gig at another pub in the city, and I still work the odd shift at Whelans behind the bar, so we’re both pretty busy.
Viv doesn’t want to stay over at my place, not even after I offered to buy a new bed because I figured she didn’t want to sleep in it knowing she’s not the first woman to claim a spot. Can’t say I blame her. Doubt I could sleep in her bed knowing my twin or any other man had slept there first.
She’s as territorial over me as I am over her.
I honestly can’t remember a time I was this happy. It’s all very domesticated, and I’m shocked at how much I’m loving just doing the normal mundane things with her. Going to sleep holding her in my arms and waking up wrapped all around her is like a balm for my soul. On the rare nights where I have slept alone at my gaff, I’ve felt bereft, like I’m missing an integral limb.
“Never.” Ash snuggles into my side as I stir the warming milk. “You know I love having you here, and you make my best friend really happy, which makes me happy.”
I wrap my arm around my pint-sized sister. “Viv makes me happy too.”
Ash looks up at me with a soft expression. “I know, Dil. You’re made for each other.”
Yeah, I’m not touching that. I’ve given up feeling guilty for my agenda. I had to drop it and just let the chips fall where they fall because I was beating myself up every time I was with Viv, and she was picking up on it. It is what it is, and feeling guilty over it isn’t going to make any difference. So, I’m pretending like it’s not a factor. I’m treating this like a real relationship because it fucking is, and I’ll handle the potential fallout later. Right now, Vivien Grace Mills is my world, and I’m not beating myself up for feeling happy. I’m soaking up all the feel-good emotions like a sponge, cherishing every moment and committing it all to my memory bank to draw upon after it’s over and she’s gone.
A pang hits me square in the gut while my heart lurches in my chest like always when I think about our inevitable end. I’m trying not to go there, but sometimes it’s hard because I’m struggling to imagine going back to my old existence after she’s gone.
“Going to tell me where you keep disappearing to?” I ask Ash, purposely changing the subject before I get depressed.
Ash slinks out from under my arm as I remove the box of Butler’s Hot Chocolate from the press.
“He’s no one important,” she lies, avoiding eye contact.
I drop three of the yummy hot chocolate pieces into the milk and resume stirring the liquid.
“If you say so.” I have my suspicions, but I’m saying nothing. When I first suspected Jamie and my sister might have rekindled whatever romance they had last summer, I was tempted to pull my best mate aside and rip into him. But I stopped myself in time. They’re grown-ups, and Ash knows her own mind. If she’s started something with him, she’s gone into it with her eyes wide-open. Who am I to interfere? I’ve hated other women stepping in the path of my relationship with Vivien, and I’d be a hypocrite to do the same and deny them the happiness I feel.
If it’s serious, I’ll talk to Jay to ensure he’s on the same page as her. But I’m not going to tell him she’s off-limits anymore. I don’t think I ever should have.
Ash takes three mugs out of the press, placing them on the counter. Her shoulders are rigid, and her lips are pursed, so I go easy on her. I’ll wait for her to raise the subject with me. And perhaps I’m wrong. Maybe she’s banging some other guy and I’m way off base. “How is studying going?”
The tension eases instantly from her shoulders. “Good. Viv and I have been studying together at the library, and I think we’re well prepared.”
“You’re both going to nail it.”
“Thanks for cooking dinner every night. It’s a big help.”
I shrug because it’s not a biggie. “I like cooking for my favorite sister and my best girl. It’s the least I can do.”
She leans in and hugs me. “I love seeing you as a boyfriend. I knew all along you’d be the best, and you are.”
I laugh while turning off the heat on the hob. “You were always going to be biased.”
“Doesn’t make it not true.”
“He’s not sending her stuff or messaging her anymore, right?” I ask, avoiding looking at her as I pour the chocolate milk into the three mugs.
“Dillon.” Her tone contains censure. “We talked about this. I’m Switzerland. You need to ask Vivien. I’m not your spy.”
Setting the empty saucepan down, I rub the back of my neck. “Sorry,” I mumble as I retrieve the packet of mini marshmallows from the press. “I just don’t like asking her about him, but I was wondering.”
We sent him an intimate photo of us in bed the morning after the Trinity Ball. It didn’t leave much to the imagination, and I hope it drove the point home. She’s mine now. I need to know he understands that. Vivien hasn’t mentioned anything to me in the weeks since, and she never talks about him anymore, which I hope is a good sign she’s moving on, but I can never be fully sure.
Ash glances behind me before lowering her voice. “I’m not doing this again, Dil. We all agreed I’d keep my friendship with Viv separate to your relationship with her for a reason. But to answer your question, no, he hasn’t contacted her, and he hasn’t sent her anything. He got the message loud and clear.”
“Good.” I drop marshmallows on the top of the three mugs.
“Don’t worry about Reeve.” Ash rubs my arm before taking one of the mugs. “Viv is crazy about you, Dillon. You’re the only one putting that big smile on her face every day.”
I know, but for how long?
“This is too much, Hollywood,” I say, shaking my head at the deluge of clothing bags littering the floor of her bedroom. It’s mostly new stuff she bought herself today to celebrate the end of her exams, but a good few of the bags contain clothes she bought me.
“I told you I’m determined to introduce more color into your life, babe.” She cops a feel of my arse. “You can’t go around dressed like the Grim Reaper all summer long.” Her soft giggle trickles into the air, warming every part of me.
Backing her up against the wardrobe, I cage her within my arms. “You’ll pay for that.” I dive in and drag my teeth along her earlobe. “What’s wrong with all black? It’s my signature look.”
Her arms snake around my neck. “I love your signature look. Honestly, you’d look hot in anything. You are sexy as hell, Dil, and I’m horny for you twenty-four-seven.” She grinds her pelvis against me, and predictably, my dick stirs to life. This is the way it is with us. We fuck at least twice a day. We can’t get enough of one another, and I’m having the best sex of my life.
“I just like buying you things, and I wanted to thank you,” she continues, kissing the corner of my mouth. “I couldn’t have sailed through my exams without you. You cooked, cleaned, brought me drinks and snacks, escorted me to and from college, gave me the best freaking massages, and fucked me into oblivion so I got a good night’s sleep.” Her eyes turn suspiciously glassy. “You don’t know how much your unconditional support means to me, and I’m struggling to find ways to show you, so don’t get angry that I spent a little money on you.” She chews on the corner of her mouth, looking nervous, and I know why.
We’ve had a few arguments over money. She got me added as a named driver on her rental car and refused to let me reimburse the additional cost. I always want to pay for her when we go out, and she doesn’t like it, wanting to pay her own way or take it in turns, arguing she’d be like this with any guy and it’s not just because she has more money than me. I know my hang-ups are tied up with my twin. But it’s not like I can explain that to her or tell her how inadequate it makes me feel when I can’t properly provide for her.
I hate feeling inferior to that prick, but being an ass isn’t making me feel any better. Viv did something nice for me, and I’m acting like an ungrateful punk. She just finished her exams, and we have the whole summer together before we are forced to part. This is a happy occasion, a night to celebrate, and I’m determined to ensure she has a good time. Which means I need to let this go.
“I’m not angry, beautiful.” I kiss her softly. “Thank you for buying me things. It’s very generous, and I’m a lucky fucking bastard to call you mine.”
She visibly relaxes against me. “I’m so lucky I met Ash. She’s my best friend, and you’re the best boyfriend a girl could ask for. I don’t want you to think I take you for granted because I don’t, Dillon.” She stabs me with earnest eyes. “I’m lucky I get to call you mine. I still pinch myself most days to believe it’s true.”
Vivien does wonders for my self-esteem. I feel like I’m the best version of myself when I’m with her, and I don’t even have to try. It’s as effortless as breathing. Pulling her into a hug, I rest my chin on her head and hold her close, wishing I never had to let her go. She completes me, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be whole again without her. If I could open myself up and tuck her inside, I would. “I never think that, and I don’t do it for any reason except I like looking after you and I like making you happy.”
“Well, you’re really good at it, Dillon.” Her hands trace a path up my chest, and she cups my face. We stare deep into one another’s eyes, and my heart thumps wildly in my chest. That familiar electricity surges around us, enveloping us in a bubble. My arms tighten around her, and my heart swells to bursting point. I could stare at her all day. I love every single thing about her. Holding her in my arms is the best feeling in the world. “I love being with you, Dil, and I’m excited to spend the summer with you.”
Unspoken words hover in the air, but neither of us will articulate them. What’s the point? We both know the inevitability of our demise. Talking about it all the time won’t change that fact, and I’m trying not to think about it too much because it’ll only cast a shadow over the time we have left, and that’ll defeat the purpose.
“We’re going to have the best summer ever,” I say, pressing a fierce kiss into her hair. That’s one promise I fully intend to keep.