Chapter 14 Running Up That Hill by. Loveless
Will
I knew I was an asshole for not telling Jackie about my family before we had left.
I was worried she would view me differently after finding out and I wanted to delay it for as long as possible.
I should have realized that something like this wouldn’t change her perspective of me and you can’t hide from who you are.
Her light peeled back the darkness within me.
She deserved to know the truth beforehand.
Her only response was calling me an idiot. She isn’t wrong about that.
I did lie to her.
Maybe someday I’ll tell her about it, but I couldn’t now.
That flight attendant didn’t assume she was my wife.
In fact, I don’t think she would have known there was any connection between us, she was too busy flirting with me.
After her third attempt at getting me to go into the airplane bathroom with her, I told her Jackie was my wife and that her behavior was inappropriate.
Could I have just said no to her?
Probably.
For some reason I wanted to claim Jackie as well. It was childish, but hearing her called Mrs. Bly did something to me.
“You seem different, William,” Sarah remarked as she sat across from me in the lounge of my mother’s house.
After dinner, we retired in here to chat.
Jackie was the first to head to bed, followed shortly by my mother.
It was Bec, Sarah and I left. We had spent the last hour catching up on each other's lives.
“Right? I was thinking the same thing the second I saw him,” Bec responded. “Actually, since I saw Jackie.”
Sarah looked at me for a moment, probably trying to figure out what was going on with me. “Did you sleep with her?”
I sputtered out my water. “What? No I did not, and even if I did I wouldn’t tell you.”
“But you want to, don’t you?” Bec said.
I shrugged.
The answer was a resounding hell yes. It was becoming exceedingly difficult to keep my hands off of her.
We had a moment in my room earlier where I could have sworn she was staring at my lips, almost daring me to kiss her.
I wanted to, I was even leaning in to kiss her when Bec interrupted us.
I haven’t decided if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
“I knew it!” Bec exclaimed. “This calls for another drink.”
Sarah and I laughed in unison as Bec ran to the bar that was in the lounge.
“Get me a whiskey, please!” Sarah yelled to my sister. The two met when Bec visited me during the second year of my doctorate and they became fast friends.
“Nothing for me,” I responded continuing to sip my water.
Sarah eyed me skeptically. “Since when do you turn down a stiff drink at the end of the day, William?”
Once again, I shrugged.
We both knew the answer. I didn’t drink when around Jackie. It had nothing to do with me not trusting her sobriety. I think it was my own weird way of supporting her. Luckily, Sarah dropped the subject just as Bec returned and handed Sarah her drink.
“So, where do we stand on Jackie and Will?” Bec asked Sarah.
I sighed and leaned my head back against my chair.
I was banned, and it sucked.
That’s where we stood.
“I like them,” Sarah responded, completely shocking me. I looked up so quickly I think I gave myself whiplash.
“Since when?” I asked my friend, confused on when or how she changed her mind.
“William, you have a reputation of hitting and quitting women. I didn’t want you to do that to her. She deserves more than that,” Sarah explained. “I now see that you actually care for Ophelia. I’m not sure how I didn’t put it together earlier, but the two of you are perfect for each other.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, genuinely curious.
In my view, she was completely out of my league.
“You balance each other. She brings out the best parts of you, and vice versa. You also seem to push each other. William, you’re in New York for the first time in a decade and a half. Not only are you here, but you didn’t even think about it because she had to be here,” she explained.
I was opening my mouth to respond when I heard that sound that would haunt my nightmares.
Jackie was screaming again.
“Fuck!” I yelled as I stood and ran up the stairs to get to her, my water spilling on the floor behind me.
I could hear Bec and Sarah running behind me asking what was going on, but I had one thing on my mind. I needed to get to Jackie, I needed to see she was okay, I needed to wake her up. The sounds of her screaming broke something in me.
I rounded the corner and threw open the door to find Jackie just as she was last night. She was screaming in her sleep and thrashing about. It wasn’t a scream of pain, but pure unadulterated fear. I hated seeing her so scared, even if it was just a dream.
I finally reached the side of her bed and took her face in my hands. “Jackie! Wake up Sunshine, please wake up,” I exclaimed as I began trying to shake her awake.
“William, what’s going on?” Sarah asked behind me, sounding scared and confused.
“She’s having a nightmare,” I was still trying to get her to wake up. “Jackie! Wake up!”
“Why won’t she wake up? What’s happening?” Bec asked as she stood by Sarah, sounding equally scared.
“God Dammit Jackie! Wake up!” I yelled, continuing to shake her.
Finally, she shot up, panting hard like she had just been running.
“Who was that? Where am I?” Jackie asked, looking around the room, but not seeming to see us.
I sat next to her and wrapped her in my arms. It was as if having her there made it easier for me to breathe. “You’re okay. We’re in New York. You’re safe.”
I continued to repeat that to her as she slowly began to calm down and catch her breath. These nightmares completely wrecked her. She looked as if she had been running, and was sweating just the same. I looked down to see what she was wearing. “Are those snowman pajamas?’
Jackie chuckled softly, a sound that helped soothe my anxiety. “Yeah, I got them for Christmas last year from Theo. She has a matching pair.”
I smiled at her. She was safe, in that moment that was all that mattered to me. These nightmares were terrifying to witness. It was as though someone else was in control of her body and it felt impossible to wake her up.
“Ophelia, what was that?” Jackie jumped at Sarah’s question, just now seeing she and Bec were in here.
“Ummm…I-I’m not sure. I can’t remember,” she responded, almost in a whisper. “I’m sorry if I ruined your night.”
“No, not at all, sweetheart. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I have never seen that before. It scared me,” Sarah responded as she sat on the other side of Jackie on the bed with Bec taking the foot.
Jackie sighed as she looked at Sarah. “Last night was the first time, Will woke me up then too. I don’t know what it is, I can’t remember.”
“That’s okay, Sunshine, you don’t need to. Let’s just go to bed. We can figure it out tomorrow,” I told Jackie as I laid us back down. Sarah followed suit, laying down. I knew she needed to be here tonight too. We needed to make sure Jackie was okay.
Slowly Sarah and Jackie drifted back to sleep. I began to do the same when Bec shook my leg, getting my attention.
“Will, what was that?” Bec asked.
I shrugged in response, having no idea.
Slowly my sister and I fell asleep as well, both knowing these nightmares were more than met the eye. It was the second best sleep of my life, only being beat out by the night before. Something about sleeping next to Jackie made my thoughts slow down and my anxieties calm.
Once again, however, I awoke the next day without Jackie by my side.
It was almost becoming a cruel joke to fall asleep with her in my arms, finally having her close, to only having her missing the next day.
I stretched and looked around my now empty room.
It was obvious Bec and Sarah had stayed the whole night by the mussed pillows and blankets scattered around the bed.
I stood and walked to the ensuite to get ready for the day.
I smiled looking at the vanity and seeing all of Jackie’s skincare, hair, and makeup items. It made things feel almost complete.
After brushing my hair and teeth and finding my glasses I made my way downstairs towards the incredible smell of bacon.
I found everyone in the kitchen prepping what I assumed was breakfast. My mom put one of her records on and everyone was dancing and singing to Abba.
“Good Morning, ladies,” I exclaimed to the room. I was met with four pairs of eyes, one pair in particular that made my heart skip a beat.
“Morning, Will. Your feet make a terrible pillow, by the way,” Bec stated as she handed me a cup of coffee and I took my seat at the kitchen table.
“Good morning, my son,” my mom stated as she leaned down and kissed my cheek.
“Having you here makes me so happy, but I know you’re here for work so I’ll get out of your hair for the time being.
” She looked around the room for a moment before pointing to Sarah.
“You’re in charge, Sarah, don’t let anyone get hurt. Love you all!”
We all laughed at her theatrics.
My mom was always a character. Her time with my father dulled it a bit, but since the separation fifteen years ago, her light came back stronger than ever.
She was an incredible woman who had spent years trying to protect Rebecca and I from my father’s wrath while simultaneously trying to get us out.
When someone is as wealthy as my father, it’s not easy to get a divorce.
He had endless resources and connections.
Because of this, he was able to drag the divorce through the courts for years, but my mom won.
Winnifred Bly went back to Winnifred Balan twelve years ago and I knew she had never been happier.