Chapter 15 Who do you want? By. Ex Habit #2
Finally, on the last page there were two drawings. One of me was at a cabin that was oddly familiar. I couldn’t place it but I felt like I had been there before. The other was me, laying in the cemetery where Griffin’s victims were found. I looked… dead and had the sigil carved into my forehead.
“W-What are these? How did you do this?” I asked, almost to myself not fully wanting the answer.
Griffin turned to me, his demeanor relaxing.
“I told you, Jackie, I did it all for you. To bring you here. I needed to meet you. I needed to meet an Advocate,” he answered.
I began to shake in fear, not understanding anything that was happening.
“How did you draw these? How do you know what my apartment looks like?” I asked Griffin as tears began to fill my eyes.
“That’s your apartment?” Will asked as he glanced at me for a second before returning his attention back to Griffin.
I nodded my head in response, unable to form any words.
How could this be real?
It was obvious Griffin had some sort of obsession with me, but why I couldn’t understand. We lived on opposite sides of the country and had no ties from what I knew. How did he even know I existed before today?
“We’re leaving,” Will stated firmly as he took my hand and began to lead me out of the room when Griffin grabbed by my other arm and pulled back, hard.
“You can’t take her from me!” Griffin yelled as he yanked me backwards so hard to the point I fell to his feet. “She’s mine! This Advocate is mine!”
I had heard stories about how protective wolves get when their pack is attacked. How they will take down anything in their path and fight to their deaths to ensure those they cared for were safe. As I looked at Will, I knew I was about to see first hand what that was like.
In a flash, he was across the room and had Griffin by his collar as he held him up on the wall.
Griffin was tall, but Will was strong. In comparison, Griffin looked like a rag doll.
I felt someone grab me and pull me out of the room.
I looked to see one of the security guards that escorted us in.
It was the sound of cracking that drew my attention back into the room.
Will had punched Griffin straight in the jaw. Griffin collapsed into a pile on the ground, obviously dazed by the strike.
“You will never touch Jackie again. Do you understand me?” Will growled, in a shockingly calm yet deadly tone.
Initially there was no answer. Will picked him back up and held his collar so they were face to face yet again.
“I have more power than you can dream of. I do not care that you’re already locked up. You will not look at her, talk to her, draw her, or anything again. If you do, I will kill you. That’s not a threat, it’s a fucking promise. Do you understand?” Will growled yet again.
This time Griffin nodded, seeming to understand just how serious Will was.
Will dropped Griffin and swiftly turned and exited the room.
He was quickly in front of me and took my face in his hands as he inspected me, looking to ensure I wasn’t hurt.
The life in his eyes returned and replaced the stormy blue that existed before.
“Tell me you’re okay, sunshine?” he asked in a quiet voice for just us to hear.
I nodded, unable to use my words. The last few minutes had been terrifying, but standing here in Will’s embrace made me feel safe.
I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest. He made me feel protected.
He began to caress my head as he gave instructions to the guards around us.
During the course of the last few minutes, nearly a dozen had appeared.
We were led to the back of the building where our car was waiting.
I was ushered into the backseat of the town car and Will was by my side. He gripped my hand. The driver turned us onto the busy streets and Amherst Insane Asylum was in our rearview mirror.
Will and I sat in silence for a moment when I noticed his bleeding knuckles.
“You’re hurt,” I took his hand in my own to inspect the damage.
“What?” Will asked and then saw what I was so worried about. “Oh, I hadn’t noticed.” He pulled a handkerchief out of his coat pocket and began to dab away the blood.
“Thank you, Will,” I said to him, not knowing how to express my gratitude. I had spent so much of the last few years protecting myself. Since Nate died, I had protected myself.
Today, Will did.
He refused to allow Griffin to hurt me and got me away from him as fast as he could. It was refreshing to have someone completely in my corner.
Will looked at me, confused. “Why are you thanking me? I shouldn’t have let him get the chance to touch you.”
I was shocked. Was he blaming himself for this?
“Will, of course I need to thank you. You got me away from him, kept me safe. Hell, I think you may have broken your hand for me.”
He looked me in the eyes for a second before visibly deflating. “I never wanted you to see that part of me,” he whispered.
“What part?” I inquired.
“The part that’s just like my father. The part that is dangerous, calculating. The part of me in the darkness,” he responded. “It’s the part of me I hate.”
I could understand that. There was much of my past I was ashamed of. I had done some messed up things in the height of my addiction. I hurt the ones I loved and hurt myself in the process. But it was a part of me. Just as this was a part of him.
“Will, this part of you isn’t bad or worth hating. It’s protective, loving, and unwavering,” I stated, hoping to get him to understand he shouldn’t be ashamed.
“It’s dangerous, like he was,” he stated dejectedly.
The pieces were falling into place. It wasn’t hatred he had, but fear. Fear of turning into his father.
“What did he do to you? I know you said he wasn’t a good father or man. What did he do to warrant that?” I asked.
Will shrugged, not answering. I grabbed his chin and turned his face so it met mine. I looked at him and asked again. “Please tell me, Will.”
He sighed but answered, “He beat us. All three of us. My mom, Bec and I lived in hell with that man for years. I did my best to protect them, especially when I got older. But… but I couldn’t.
My father, he is powerful, rich. He used that money to control our every action.
We couldn’t pick our own interests, friends, classes.
We couldn’t make choices of any kind. We were trapped, like birds in a cage.
He could get away with anything. When I turned eighteen, I ran.
It was cowardly. I left my mom and sister to deal with his wrath alone.
I abandoned them, but I had to get away. ”
“You were just a kid, Will,” I reasoned. He was. He wasn’t to blame for his father’s actions and abuse.
“I used to think that. Then I met you. Nate was eighteen when he got you and Theo out,” he said, growing frustrated. “He was just a kid, too, but he saved you.”
I sighed. He didn’t understand the difference.
“My parents weren’t rich and powerful. We could hide because they didn’t have the ability to find us, the ability to take us back. Your father did. Do you think he would have allowed you to take Bec and leave?”
Will shrugged again, avoiding my question. I wasn’t going to get through to him in this car ride. It takes years to deconstruct the trauma responses of abuse. I myself was still in the process.
“I know you don’t believe me, Will, but you’re not your father. You are an incredibly kind man. Truly one of the best people I have ever known. You may not like what you did, but you kept me safe. Thank you, Will.”
He looked at me for a moment with an odd look I couldn’t place. It was appreciative, mixed with something else I didn’t understand. With no words he took my hand and faced forward. We sat like that for the remainder of the car ride back to his childhood home.
Hand in hand.
Will
“What the fuck?” Sarah asked, clearly just as perturbed as we were.
The whole experience at Amherst Insane Asylum was fucked up. The moment we walked in, I knew it wasn’t going to go well. Initially, I hoped my intuition was wrong.
Griffin was… off, but didn’t seem dangerous in the moment. That was until I began leafing through his journal. When I turned to the first page that showed his drawings of Jackie I wanted to puke. The drawings were lifelike, yet she had never met him. The obsession he had with her was unhinged.
The moment he touched her I saw red. The only thing on my mind was to get him away from her, no matter what. Watching him hurt her, even if it was an accident, made something snap deep within my soul. No one got away with hurting Jackie, not anymore.
“So you didn’t tell him anything about us, about our case, about me?” Jackie asked Sarah, still shaken up. She still hadn’t let go of me in some form, our hands currently clasped. It was as if I was her lifeline to reality in the midst of the chaos.
Sarah shook her head. “No, I told him nothing. I don’t understand how he knew anything about you.”
“Maybe he had read some of her previous articles,” Bec interjected and turned to Jackie.
“You are pretty well known in the sphere of covering criminal cases. Maybe he was trying to get attention for what he did and came across you. Your piece on Ted Bundy blew up about a year ago. That could be how he heard of you.”
Jackie nodded her head as she processed my sister's words. “That’s a possibility, yeah. There was a picture of me published with the article.”
“How did he figure out how your apartment, your room looked?” I asked, not convinced it was as simple as they were believing.
“What?” Sarah exclaimed as she looked at Jackie and then to me, her eyes frantic. “Someone explain, now!”
I grabbed the journal that we had accidentally brought with us when we left the asylum and handed it to Sarah.
“Look.”
She began to rifle through the pages. I could see the moment she got to the pictures that made me want to drive back and strangle Griffin myself.