Chapter 28 Dead to Me by. Tribal Blood
Jackie
Time is relative. Truth is relative.
Missing for Four Days
I couldn’t figure out where I was. One moment I was in my apartment with Griffin, scared out of my mind. The next moment, I was in the woods alone. They were familiar, the ones from my nightmares.
I could only assume I was in another one of my nightmares. Griffin must have knocked me unconscious.
For the first time, it was day time. I couldn’t see the sun, and the tree cover blocked my view from the sky, but the light filtering through the trees made it obvious.
“Damn it.” I muttered.
I looked down.
Once again, I had no shoes on. I guess it didn’t matter. It was just a dream, but it still bothered me for some reason.
I started my journey through the trees, following the same path I had followed many times now in my dreams. It was helpful that I could remember this time. I did my best to avoid the sticks and rocks that littered the ground. Even if it was a dream, it still hurt when I stepped on them.
After what felt like hours of walking, I entered into the clearing that I had become familiar with.
It was beautiful in the daytime. Green grass stretched wide, with random flowers poking through.
It was overcast, as usual for Oregon, and slightly drizzling.
I smiled to myself as I made my way towards the familiar cabin.
This was my favorite weather.
I knew deep down that I should be more concerned with whatever Griffin was doing to me, but I felt safe here in my own mind.
In my dream.
As I approached the cabin, I noticed that yet again there was no door. I circled around a few times, trying to see if I could find a way in, with no such luck. The usual lights that filtered out were also not visible. Maybe it was the daylight that kept me from seeing them.
I headed towards the hill at the back of the cabin and took a seat where Nate and I sat just the night before, side by side. Leaning back, I looked up at the clouds.
It was really a beautiful day.
Slowly I drifted off to sleep.
I would have to face the reality of whatever happened with Griffin, what he had done to me, but for the time being I found an odd sense of calm.
Missing for Two Hours
I awoke with a start.
Where was I?
I looked around trying to get my bearings.
Was I in a field?
I slowly stood. I felt tired and weak.
How did I get here?
I racked my brain, trying to remember how I got here or where I was.
Griffin.
It was Griffin. He took me. Drugged me?
Where were my shoes?
Was that a cabin?
I squinted towards the structure. Yep, it was a cabin. There must be someone in there because there were lights flickering through the windows on the second story.
I circled around, trying to find a way in. Maybe the person who was in there could help me.
There was a door.
I banged as hard as I could, calling for help.
No one answered.
Where was I?
It was too dark to take full stock of where I was.
I slumped down in front of the door and rested my head between my knees.
One deep breath.
Two.
Okay, I could do this. I could figure this out. I looked up again. I was now sitting facing the door, maybe five feet away.
How did I get here?
Did I move?
I couldn’t figure out what was happening. My thoughts and memories were foggy.
Where were my shoes?
Missing for Two Days
Someone had to be searching for me by now. Will was supposed to come over at seven. That would have been hours and hours ago.
What didn’t make sense to me was this dream.
Everything was so vivid. I heard of lucid dreaming before.
Sarah found the concept of it fascinating.
You were dreaming but completely aware. That must be what was happening to me.
Maybe the drugs that Griffin used to knock me out caused you to have lucid dreams?
That was the only explanation I could come up with.
It was infuriating. I felt trapped in my own mind, wandering aimlessly through a field with no plan. I couldn’t do anything to fight against Griffin here.
After what felt like the hundredth lap around the cabin, I noticed the door. The door that had a habit of disappearing. It was closed, but maybe I could get in.
I approached the door and placed my hand on the handle.
“Please, please open,” I whispered to myself.
Slowly I turned it, and with my luck it was locked.
“Why is this happening to me?” I whispered while resting my forehead on the door.
“If you move out of the way, I could let you in.”
I turned to see Nate standing behind me. He had his usual smirk on his face. This was a definite plus side to being stuck in this dream. I got to see him. I smiled and moved out of the way to let him through.
I watched as he opened the door with ease and entered the cabin.
I followed behind him cautiously. I hadn’t yet seen the inside of the structure in any of my previous dreams. It was rundown here.
There was a sleeping bag in one corner, a table and two chairs in the other, and a fireplace between the two.
Light filtered in from the top windows, illuminating the space around us.
I jumped at the sound of the door slamming shut behind me. I went to try and open it and once again it was locked.
“Don’t worry about that. When it’s time you can leave. It’s safer here anyways,” said Nate while he took a seat at the small table.
“Safer?” I asked as I sat down next to him.
“They can’t get to us in here.”
“Who’s they?”
He pondered my question for a moment. “I… I can’t remember. I’m sorry. Some days are better than others.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ll figure it out. Your memories will come and go. It makes the time pass faster, but sometimes slower.”
He was making no sense to me and only adding to my stress and anxiety.
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block the tears from starting.
I could feel myself beginning to panic. I was trapped in a dream, drugged by a psychopath, and had no way of fighting back.
I just wanted to go home. I wanted to be with Will. He would keep me safe.
I felt hands on either side of my face. “Hey, you’re okay,” Nate said in a soothing voice. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, Jack.”
I looked at my brother with his familiar blue eyes. They looked just like Vi’s and Theo’s.
“Take a breath with me. Like we used to,” he instructed and I followed. “In and out… Good… one more time… good.”
I continued the deep breathing he taught me when I was only six years old. It calmed me and allowed me to get control of myself. “I’m sorry, Nate. I’m just scared.”
“I know, Jack. I was too at first.”
“What does that mean?” I asked in earnest.
He just shook his head in response. “We just have to wait. It will get easier.”
Missing for Twenty-Four Hours
“I think the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”
I glared at my brother and flipped him off. He proceeded to laugh at my antics. I had been trying to get the door open in various ways for thirty minutes now with no luck.
“I’m bored,” I huffed.
“I know.”
“Stop being understanding.”
“Okay.”
I glared at him again, only to get a laugh in response again. “Look, Jack, you’re stuck here whether you like it or not. Just relax. The door will open when it’s time.”
He had said that many times. The problem was I had no idea what he meant and he had yet to offer any sort of explanation. I guess he was a part of my subconscious so he couldn’t know more than I did.
It was still annoying.
I turned and slipped down the closed door and sat on the ground. I looked at my brother. He looked so real. My mind had even aged him. He was only twenty-five when he died, barely an adult. Here, he looked like a man. He would have been thirty-one years old.
“If you didn’t have to raise Theo and I, what would you have done?” I asked.
He seemed to ponder the thought for a moment. “Honestly, I don’t know. You two were my world and my top priority.”
“You were only eighteen. You didn’t get to be a young adult.
Hell, you were basically a father to a fourteen and sixteen year old.
You missed out on so much.” I felt guilty about it.
Every year I had without him I would ponder on just how much he sacrificed for me.
He never went to parties, didn’t go to traditional college, didn’t even have friends.
There was one summer he interned for the Army, but that was it.
He came and sat next to me on the floor. He even smelled familiar, like dust after rain. I rested my head on his shoulder. “I wouldn’t change a thing. Yeah, there were things I missed out on, but life with you and Theo made up for it every single day.”
“Remember when my senior math teacher thought you were my dad and was so confused how you had me so young?”
I felt him chuckle. “It didn’t help that neither of us corrected him and you started calling me ‘dad’ to further throw him off.”
He was right. I had never been the best at math, despite the many late night tutoring sessions I had with Nate, who had degrees in physics and applied mathematics.
Nate would talk to that teacher often, fighting to give me more chances at retaking tests and redoing assignments.
He was my greatest supporter. My teacher did think he was my dad and would always try and figure out just how old Nate was.
“We had some good times,” I whispered. “I wish you were still here.”
He sighed. “I do too, Jack, trust me.” He paused for a moment before continuing, “I’m proud of you.”
“Why?” I asked while turning to face him.
“You stopped blaming yourself for my accident,” he smiled sadly. “You also stood up to mom and dad. That took real guts.”
I chuckled at him. “I did. You should have seen their faces. They were shocked.”
He laughed alongside me. “I can imagine it.”
“Why did they hate us more than Kai and Theo?”