Chapter 3
Three
Allison
It's dark in the room I'm in. Not so dark I can't see what's around me, but like the sun is behind the clouds. Blinds are drawn, or curtains, but in the background is the steady thump of what sounds like a heart monitor. Why do I hear a heart monitor?
My eyes are heavy as I try to open them, and when I go to lift my arm something prevents me from lifting it the whole way. That's when I realize there's something attached to my hand.
"Allison, don't move so quick. You're okay."
That's it. The voice of the man who has pulled me from actual darkness more times than I care to count since we met one another. "What happened?" I ask, but my voice is so rough it's as if I'm speaking through a throat full of gravel. "Where am I?"
He goes over to the window and opens the blinds. Now that the sun is shining in, I see that I'm in a hospital room. There's a IV in my hand, and that's why I can't lift my arm up too far.
"Is anything starting to come back for you?" He asks softly, before he comes over and has a seat on the bed.
I close my eyes, and fear envelopes me in a way I haven't experienced in years.
"Maybe. I don't have a good feeling." He doesn't say anything, just allows me to keep my eyes closed, and I search in my memories for whatever this is.
Then it's as if I open a door, and I'm taken back to my classroom. "Logan," I gasp.
"Yeah."
It's one word, but it says everything. The way it's pulled from deep within his chest and throat tells me more than anything how much this has hurt him. "I'm okay," I say quickly, reaching out to take his hand.
"Don't." He leans forward, putting his forehead to mine.
"Don't say you're okay when I slept here last night and heard you.
More than once, I might add, yell out in your sleep.
This scared you, and I'm not saying it scared you more than it should, but.
.." he pulls back, trailing his finger down my face. "You've been hurt before?"
I nod, because it's all I can do. Tears pool in my eyes, I can feel them gathering. "I have," I whisper, sniffling.
He and I. We haven't done the whole past situation. He doesn't know everything about mine, and although Dani told me about him being undercover, I haven't asked him about it. The truth is, we don't know everything about each other, and that's a conversation we'll have to have.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
"We're going to have to talk about it at some point."
Our eyes meet, and I take the strength I need from his level gaze. "We will, but we also don't have to rush it."
My throat moves up and down as I swallow roughly. "That sounds good."
Closing my eyes, I fall back against the mattress and take a breath, counting to ten. This relaxation technique I learned in therapy has been one of the things that has gotten me through the lonely days and nights as I've processed what happened to me before I met Dime.
"They mentioned you'll get to go home today," he says, clearing his throat.
"Do you want to come home with me?" He asks it in a careful way, like he's afraid I'm going to bolt at the mention of leaving the hospital.
"You can stay with me for a couple hours, you can stay forever.
I just need to make sure you're safe, and I want you to feel that way. "
My heart is thumping in my chest as I agree. "I'd love to come home with you. I just need to go get my clothes and stuff."
"Let me have Dani do it. I know she'd love to help you. It'll give her something to do."
My best friend is probably losing her fucking mind.
I haven't spoken with her since all this went down.
I do remember that she texted me, but I don't think I answered her.
"That's a good idea, please ask her to get my laptop and everything around it.
I'll need that to do lesson plans and grade papers. "
Now that he seems to have a job that can keep his mind off of me in this bed, he's laser focused. This is what I love most about him. He pays attention, he knows what others need, and he's not afraid to jump in and make sure things are taken care of.
"I'm gonna walk outside and call her. I'll be right back." He drops a kiss to my cheek, and it's so sweet that it almost makes me cry.
There hasn't been a lot of sweetness and softness in my life. I've wanted it more often than I've even admitted to myself, but I haven't been able to believe it might actually happen. But this man? He makes me believe that it can. When I see his back leave the room, I allow myself a moment.
I sob as the memories of what happened in my classroom come back to me.
It's the last thing in a long line of shit, and I just have to let it out.
I'm holding the pillow in front of me, burying my face in the fabric because I never let others see me cry.
Never do I want to make myself vulnerable because I've learned that being vulnerable can be used against you.
But that's when I hear it. A groan that sounds like a kicked puppy.
Then Dime is on the bed, scooping me up in his arms, holding me against his strong chest. And that's where I let myself fall apart, because I know the man holding me will always put me back together again.