Chapter 5
Five
Allison
The next morning when I wake up, I know Dime's gone. I can tell by the way the air feels. But there's someone else here, I'm just not sure who. I get up out of the bed, and slowly walk over to where I have sweatpants in a bag. I'm sore as if I've had the worst workout in my life.
Wincing when I put my legs into them, jostling my shoulder, I breathe in deeply, trying to calm my rocketing emotions. I've always had some kind of anxiety, but this looks like it's going to cause it to ratchet up. Counting to ten I exhale and will my stomach to calm down.
"Are you awake Al?"
When I hear the voice of my best friend, Dani, I hurry out of the bedroom. "Oh my gosh, you're here!"
She hurries over and carefully wraps her arms around me. I hold her tightly, letting some of the tears that have flooded behind my eyes fall. "I've been so worried about you," she says as she lets go. "Dime and Devil both told me to give you your space."
"You're my best friend," I argue.
"I know, but they were right. You needed rest more than you needed me waiting around ready to kick Logan's teenage ass." She gives me a watery smile, and I can see that she's been crying too. "But I'm here now, and I brought breakfast."
That's when I notice the bags on the kitchen counter. The smell of bacon and maybe pancakes hits me, and my stomach growls loudly enough that we both laugh.
"Come on," she says, taking my hand and leading me to the couch. "Let's get you fed."
I settle into the cushions, pulling one of Dime's blankets over my lap. It smells like him, that combination of leather and nature that I've come to associate with safety. Dani bustles around the kitchen like she owns the place, pulling out plates and utensils, dividing up whatever she brought.
When she comes back with two plates piled high with pancakes, bacon, and scrambled eggs, I feel my eyes water again. "You didn't have to do all this."
"Yeah, I did." She sits down next to me, close but not too close, and hands me a fork. "Now eat."
We're both quiet for a minute, and I can feel her watching me. Finally, I look up at her. "I don't want to talk about it," I say softly. "Not right now. I just want a normal meal with my best friend. Can we do that?"
Relief washes over her face. "Absolutely. We can talk about whatever you want, or nothing at all."
"Tell me what's been going on with you," I say, cutting into my pancakes. "I feel like I've been in a fog for days."
"Well," she starts, and I can see her thinking about what to share. "Devil's been talking about doing a cookout with the club. Nothing big, but just something where we can have fun, you know? Burgers, beer, maybe some music."
The normalcy of all of it causes my chest to relax slightly. "That sounds nice."
"Right? I was thinking maybe in a couple weeks, when the weather's supposed to be good." She takes a bite of bacon, chewing thoughtfully. "We could do it at the clubhouse, use the big grill outside."
"I could help you plan it," I offer, and the words surprise me. But as soon as I say them, I realize I mean it. I need something to focus on, something that isn't the images that keep playing in my head when I close my eyes.
Dani's face lights up. "Really? That would be amazing. You know I'm not great at planning, and I would love to have you help me."
She's lying, and I'm thankful for it. She's one of the best planners I know, but she wants to help me, and I'll let her.
"It's not that hard. We'll make a list, figure out who's bringing what, make sure we have enough of everything." I'm already mentally calculating numbers, thinking about side dishes and desserts. "Do you want to do a theme?"
"A theme?" She laughs. "For a motorcycle club cookout?"
"Why not? It doesn't have to be fancy. Just something to tie it together.
" I'm warming up to the idea now, my mind moving away from the dark thoughts that have consumed me since I woke up in the hospital.
"We could do an end-of-summer barbecue thing, with red and white checkered tablecloths, mason jars for drinks. "
"I love that." Dani grins at me, and it's the first time I've seen her genuinely smile since I woke up in the hospital. "See, this is why I need you. I never would have thought of that."
We spend the next twenty minutes planning, talking about potato salad and coleslaw, debating whether to do hot dogs in addition to burgers, discussing music options.
It feels good to think about something normal, something that doesn't involve the way Logan's eyes looked when he moved them up and down my body.
For these few minutes, I'm not a teacher who was held by a student in her classroom.
I'm just a woman planning a party with her best friend.
But eventually, the plates are empty, and the conversation starts to wind down. Dani gets up to clear the dishes, and when she comes back, she sits down more carefully, like she's preparing to say something I might not want to hear.
"Al," she starts, and I know what's coming. "How long are you taking off work?"
I pull the blanket tighter around myself. "I'm staying with Dime for the foreseeable future. The school said I'm not expected back until next week at the earliest." I pause, staring down at my hands. "They've got a substitute covering my classes."
"That's good. You need time."
"I know." But even as I say it, part of me wonders if a week will be enough. If any amount of time will be enough to erase what I saw, what I felt, while Logan held a gun on me in my classroom.
Dani reaches over and squeezes my hand. "You're going to be okay, you know that? You're the strongest person I know."
"I don't feel very strong right now."
"That's because you're tired and hurt and scared. But you will." She stands up, pulling me into another hug. This one is tighter, more fierce. "And we're all here for you. Me, Dime, the whole club. You're not alone in this."
I nod against her shoulder, not trusting my voice to speak. When she pulls back, her eyes are shiny with unshed tears.
"I should go. Let you rest." She gathers her purse, checking to make sure she has everything. "But call me if you need anything, okay? Day or night, I don't care."
"I will. Thank you for breakfast. For everything."
She gives me one more smile before heading to the door. Just as she's opening it, I hear the rumble of a motorcycle pulling up outside. We both freeze, and then Dime's bike appears in the driveway.
He cuts the engine and swings off, pulling his helmet off as he walks toward the house. When he sees Dani in the doorway, he nods to her.
"She okay?" he asks, his voice low.
"She's good. We had breakfast." Dani glances back at me. "Take care of her."
"Always."
They exchange a look that I can't quite read, something passing between them that makes me think they've talked about me, about what happened. But I'm too tired to be annoyed about it.
Dani gives me a little wave and heads to her car. Dime watches her go, then steps inside, closing the door behind him. His eyes find mine immediately, scanning my face like he's looking for signs of damage.
"Morning," I say softly, turning to walk back to the couch.
He crosses the room in three long strides, dropping down on the couch next to me and pulling me into his side. I go willingly, tucking myself against his chest, breathing in the smell of leather and wind and him.
"How you feeling?" he asks, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
"Better. Dani brought breakfast, we talked about the cookout she wants to plan. I'm still really damn tired," I admit. Part of me is afraid it's depression, another part of me knows it's because of the pain medication I'm still taking.
"Yeah? That's good." His hand runs up and down my arm, a soothing motion that makes my eyes heavy. "You need anything?"
"Just this," I murmur. "Just you."
He tightens his arm around me, and I feel his chest rise and fall with a deep breath. "You've got me, baby. For as long as you want me."
I don't say what I'm thinking, which is that I might want him forever. That feels too big, too scary, especially now when everything else feels so fragile. So instead I just let myself sink into him, let myself be held, and for now, that's enough.
Outside, I hear Dani's car pull away. Inside, the house is quiet except for our breathing, and I let my eyes drift closed. Sleep is tugging at me again, and I don't fight it. Not when I'm wrapped up in Dime's arms, not when I finally feel safe again.
"Sleep," he whispers against my hair. "I've got you."
And I do.