Chapter 19
Nineteen
Dime
Devil and I are looking down at our phones at the same time. Both of us were getting ready to leave the garage for the day when the text came through from Chief Harrison.
Keegan is standing to the side, waiting for his dad to come and pick him up, Lee is hanging out with him, keeping him company.
"Y'all gonna be okay out here?" I ask. "Devil and I need to go talk about some shit in the office."
"Yeah," Lee answers. "I'll hang out with him until his dad comes to get him."
"I'm not a fucking child," Keegan argues. He reminds me so much of Ransom that I have to grin over at him.
"We know you're not a fucking child, but Ransom will have our asses if anything happens to you, so let us protect ourselves, yeah?" He nods, and I clap both of them on the shoulders. "Y'all need anything, let us know? We'll be right inside."
Devil and I walk into the office, and as soon as the door closes behind us, I can feel the tension ratchet up. He pulls out his phone again, reading the message for what has to be the tenth time.
"Not enough fentanyl," he says, his voice flat. "That's bullshit."
"Complete bullshit," I agree. I pace to the window, looking out at the garage. "We handed him a sample directly from Ethan. The leader of the Rebels personally gave us that product. There's no way it didn't test positive."
"Unless Harrison's lying to us."
The words hang in the air between us, heavy and dangerous. Accusing your commanding officer of lying is serious business. But we're both thinking it, and there's no point in pretending otherwise.
"Why would he lie?" I ask, even though I think I already know the answer.
Devil sits down in the desk chair, leaning back and staring at the ceiling. "Because he knows."
"Knows what?"
"That we're too deep. That we've gone native, that we care more about this club than we do about the badge." He looks at me. "He's trying to buy time, trying to figure out how to handle two undercover officers who might not want to come back in."
My stomach twists because he's right. I know he's right. Harrison isn't stupid. He's been running operations long enough to recognize when his officers are getting too close to the life they're supposed to be infiltrating.
"So what's his play?" I ask. "Keep us under indefinitely? Hope we eventually remember we're cops and not outlaws?"
"Or he's building a case that doesn't rely on us.
Getting evidence from other sources so when he does move on the Rebels and the Clarks, our cover stays intact.
" Devil runs a hand over his face. "Which would actually be smart.
If we testify, if our involvement becomes public, we're dead.
The club will know we've been feeding information to the cops this whole time. "
I lean against the wall, my mind racing. "Storm, Lee, all of them. They trust us. They've welcomed us into their family, given us a place to belong. And we've been lying to them the entire time."
"That was the job, Dime. That's always been the job."
"I know that. But it doesn't make it easier." I look at him. "Does Dani know you're struggling with this?"
"Yeah. We've talked about it." He's quiet for a moment. "She knows that when this is over, I'm going to have to make a choice. Stay a cop or stay with the club. I can't do both."
"And what did she say?"
"She said she'll support whatever I choose. That she loves me, not the badge or the cut, just me." His voice cracks slightly. "Which somehow makes it harder."
I think about Allison, about the way she looked at me when I told her my real name. The acceptance in her eyes, the understanding. She told me she'd love me no matter what I chose, and I believe her. But that doesn't make the choice any easier.
"There's going to come a time when we have to make a decision," Devil says. "Even if that decision isn't what we believed it would be when we first went under."
"I know."
"Do you? Because from where I'm sitting, we're both pretending like we can keep straddling this line forever.
Like we can be both cop and criminal, keep everybody happy, never have to choose.
" He leans forward, his elbows on his knees.
"But that's not how this works. Eventually, something's going to give. And when it does, we need to be ready."
I cross to the desk and sit on the edge of it. "What if we chose wrong? What if we became cops for all the right reasons, but somewhere along the way, we found something better?"
"You mean the club."
"Yeah. The club, the brotherhood, the life." I pause. "My mom chose drugs over me. Every single day, she chose getting high over being my mother. And I became a cop because I wanted to stop other people from making that choice, from destroying their families the way she destroyed ours."
"That's a good reason."
"It was. But now?" I shake my head. "Now I look at this club, at the way Storm takes care of his people, the way Lee's working his ass off to earn his patch, the way everyone shows up for each other no matter what. And I think maybe I found the family I was supposed to have all along."
Devil nods slowly. "I get that. I do. Because I feel the same way. Being a cop was about justice, about doing the right thing. But being part of Saint's Outlaws? That's about belonging. About being part of something bigger than yourself."
We're both quiet for a long moment, the weight of what we're saying settling over us. This is dangerous territory. We're talking about abandoning our badges, our careers, everything we've worked for. And for what? A motorcycle club that doesn't even know who we really are?
"We need to start thinking about what the future looks like if we decide not to be cops anymore," I say finally. "Because Harrison's lying to us means he's already thinking about what happens when this operation ends. And we need to be prepared for that."
"Agreed. But Dime?" Devil stands up, coming over to stand next to me. "Whatever we decide, we decide together. We went into this as partners, and we come out of it the same way."
"Together," I echo.
"And we protect the people we love. Allison, Dani, everyone in this club who's become family. That's non-negotiable."
"Non-negotiable," I agree.
There's a knock on the door, and Lee pokes his head in. "Ransom's here for Keegan. Everything good?"
"Yeah, we're good," Devil says. "Thanks for keeping an eye on him."
"No problem."
Lee disappears, and we can hear the sounds of Keegan saying goodbye, the rumble of Ransom's voice, and then the garage door closing. It's just us now, alone with the choice we're going to have to make.
"You want to know the worst part?" I ask.
"What?"
"I don't even feel guilty about it. About thinking of leaving the force, choosing this life over the badge. I should feel guilty, right? After everything, after all the years I spent trying to help people, trying to make a difference."
"But you don't."
"No. I don't." I look at him. "Does that make me a bad person?"
Devil considers this for a moment. "No. It makes you human. We went into this thinking we knew who we were, what we wanted. But people change. Experiences change us. And maybe who we were when we started this operation isn't who we are anymore."
"And you're okay with that?"
"I have to be. Because the alternative is spending the rest of my life pretending to be someone I'm not, and I'm done with that shit.
" He pulls out his phone again, looking at Harrison's message.
"We'll keep working the case. We'll do what he's asking.
But we're also going to start planning for a future that might not include a badge. "
I nod, feeling something settle in my chest. It's not quite peace, but it's close. It's acceptance, maybe. The understanding that the path I thought I was on might not be the one I'm supposed to walk.
"We should get out of here," I say. "I promised Allison I'd pick her up from school, and you've probably got plans with Dani."
"Yeah, she wants to work on planning that cookout." He grins. "Apparently it's very important that we have the right kind of potato salad."
"Sounds serious."
"You have no idea."
We leave the office, and as we're walking out to our bikes, I feel the weight of the conversation we just had sitting heavy on my shoulders. This is real. We're really considering walking away from everything we've worked for, everything we've been.
But as I start my bike and head toward the school to pick up Allison, I think about what's waiting for me. A woman who loves me, a cat who's taken over my pillow, a home that finally feels like it belongs to me. A life that's real, not just a cover story.
And maybe that's worth more than a badge.
Maybe it's worth everything.
When I pull into the school parking lot, Allison's already waiting, and the smile on her face when she sees me makes everything else fade away. She climbs into the truck, leans over to kiss me, and asks about my day like we're just a normal couple living a normal life.
And for right now, in this moment, we are.
The rest of it—the lies, the choices, the future—can wait.
Right now, I just want to take my woman home and pretend like the world isn't about to demand answers I'm not sure I'm ready to give.