Dirty Billionaire (The Montgomery Billionaires #4)

CHAPTER ONE

WARD

I’M NOT SURE WHAT SEMI -retirement means exactly, but that’s my official status.

I’m a few months from turning fifty and recently stepped down as the CEO of Montgomery Enterprises—the company I built from the ground up.

It was a big life decision.

Actually, it wasn’t.

When Tina, my wife and mother of my children, died a few years ago, it shocked us all. It had broken my heart into tiny shards. Tina and I had plans to grow old together and do a million things.

God, I have so many regrets.

During our life together, I worked long and hard while she raised our children.

At the time, it seemed like a sound plan. Bella and the boys were our priority, and my company was thriving. In fact, it is now a billion-dollar empire that provides us the freedom to live a life that most people couldn’t fathom.

I don’t take it for granted, but I did take the time with my wife for granted and that is one thing money can’t buy.

Time.

Or time fucking travel.

Grief changes you. It’s turned me into a philosophical man, wondering if you can really live your life always worrying it may end. Or if those you love might never walk through the door again.

That would make you crazy.

I enjoyed every part of growing my company, seeing two of my adult sons step into it and thrive. It was as much a creative expression of myself as a financial success.

Would I swap it all to get Tina back?

One day I say yes.

Another, I would answer no.

The heart and brain are at a constant tug of war. Some days I feel numb, others I go about my life feeling happy and normal. Then guilt whacks me over the head.

I’m well aware my own life could be taken from me in an instant, and that can send me on a spiral now that I have tiny grandchildren who I want to see grow.

I also wish Tina was fucking here to see them.

Ah, my good friend, anger. It’s always close at hand, and there’s always something to be fucked off about when it comes to the loss that we all live with each day.

Or rather, she doesn’t live.

We were supposed to have forever.

Tina was the love of my life. The moment I met her and stared down into Bella’s, my stepdaughter’s eyes, I fell for them both.

Then she blessed me with my sons Knox, Atlas, and Levi.

They’ve all got beautiful partners. Knox married Payton, and she recently gave birth to their son, Daxon. Atlas and Molly are pregnant with twins. Levi’s now engaged to Kaylee, his college sweetheart.

Bella married Blake Dufort, and they have a daughter, Jamie, who looks so much like Tina.

She’s missed it all and I’ve had this weight on my shoulder to be both their mother and father.

Fuck, it’s hard.

I celebrate with them. I tell them how proud I am. Then I climb into bed and the tears stream down my face.

Tina should still be here with me. With all of us. Beside me, grinning stupidly at each other at how proud we are for creating such wonderful little people.

Our offspring.

God, she would’ve loved to see Levi’s face when his name was called out in the NFL draft. Tina was the one who told me to let him play with that ball when I thought he should focus more on math.

“Not all our kids are going to end up in the boardroom with you, darling.”

She was right.

While Levi’s team didn’t win the Super Bowl this year, I have no doubt in the years to come they will.

Montgomery’s always win after all.

The question is, who the hell am I now?

A father and grandfather, yes. A businessman with the majority shareholding in my company, who still attends every board meeting and is closely watching the CEO I put in place while Knox matures enough to take over.

He’s still a little mad with me for not automatically giving him the position, but he wasn’t ready. Also, I may have projected a little. I felt his focus should be on Payton and their little bundle of joy. I want to tell them to enjoy every second with their partners and forget their careers, but that’s not how I raised them.

I can’t put my shit on them. They lost their mom too. I am not the only one grieving her.

In fact, I think they’re faring better than me.

It’s been over two years now and people have starting asking me about dating.

Daring fuckers.

I clench my teeth and tap the indicator with my finger, turning the Bentley onto my road. The gate technology recognizes me and is open by the time I reach my mansion.

Dating.

Pfft.

Fuck that. I’m forty-nine and in great shape, so my doctor tells me. It’s obvious. I have a strong muscular body, all my hair and teeth, and go to the gym almost every day.

One of my daughters-in-law told me my salt-and-pepper hair and short beard is sexy. To which my children replied gross.

Dating is just a topic I’m not happy discussing.

That doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to women. I am. Very. I was when I was married to Tina despite being unconditionally loyal to her.

My focus is on the kids.

Having someone else in our lives feels...wrong.

Not having Tina in our lives feels fucking wrong. When consciousness hits me in the morning, I no longer roll over and pull her against my chest, waiting for her sleepy groan, which always made me smile. I no longer slide her annoying silk sleep pants aside and slip my thick cock inside her.

And I no longer get to wait for her face to lift and lips to meet mine as I watch her come.

I can’t remember how many times we worried we might get a later in life surprise, but Levi was our last child.

I would’ve been happy.

I love my children more than life.

Now, I wake up, roll onto my back, stare up at the ornate ceiling of my bedroom and wonder if today will be the day I feel ready to love again.

Or if I ever will.

After twenty-something years, I really doubt it’s possible to love again. Not in the way I did with Tina. I’ve surmised that it’s likely to be more of a companionship than true love.

Is that even what I want?

I park the Bentley and climb out, lifting my sunglasses onto my head.

“Afternoon sir,” Hank, my butler, says, stepping out of the front door and holding it open for me.

“Hank.” I nod at him then turn back to the driveway. “I thought Bella would be here already.”

“Mrs. Dufort, Bella, had to leave. Jamie was unwell, so she said she would message you,” he says. “It was very noisy.”

I laugh as I slap him on the shoulder. “Babies are noisy, Hank.”

They also fill the home with delicious joy, smelly diapers, and a whole bunch of washing. To be fair, I never dealt with much of that. We were able to hire help, and Tina was a hands-on mom.

I’m disappointed to not see my daughter, but Bella is an excellent mother, and I know she will have done right by Jamie.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and dial.

“Dad, I’m sorry.” Bella answers and I can barely hear her through the screaming.

“Is Blake home?” I stop walking.

“Yes. The doctor is on the way,” she says. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Or if it's serious.”

“Yes. Love you, Dad.” She hangs up.

I try not to worry or show the kids, but the thought of losing any of them is so much more pronounced now.

Esmeralda greets me as I walk into the kitchen and drop my keys.

“Afternoon...or nearly evening, sir.” Esmeralda smiles.

“Looks like it’s just me tonight.” I tell her. “Jamie is unwell.”

“I heard.” Esmeralda grins. “Great lungs that kid has.”

I roll up the sleeves of my shirt and glance at my Rolex. It’s not even six but it’s cold outside, even for early February, and the board meeting dragged on today.

“I’ll have an early dinner. In the library, Esmeralda.”

“Certainly. I’ll bring it through in about ten minutes,” she replies.

Walking through the enormous house, I wonder for the hundredth time if I should sell it. The echoes of my wife are in every tile on the floor, on every painting on the wall. In the kids’ rooms. The living areas. In our bedroom.

Jesus, how could I date?

How could I bring another woman home to our house or into our bed? I know for a fact I can’t. I have spent a sum total of one night with another woman since Tina died.

Penelope.

Beautiful Penelope.

We went to her house and spent hours pleasuring one another. It’s tormented me ever since.

I crave her body. I crave her mouth on my shaft again. I want to see those green eyes of hers pleading for release.

And I despise myself for all of it.