Chapter 21
Anna
I am not okay.
I’m a complete mess. A full, walking disaster wrapped in a cardigan that’s starting to feel too hot, sitting in the back of Dirty Books while my brain replays the worst possible highlight reel of my life.
Specifically—Joel reading my book.
And not just reading it. Oh, no. Of all the pages he could turn to, he had to read that part.
The sword crossing scene.
The scene that was so filthy, I had to put the book down to process. It was glorious. Until it wasn’t.
The scene that, apparently, broke Joel’s brain for a good thirty seconds before it rebooted.
I feel myself overheating just thinking about it. Clearly he hadn’t Googled it. I don’t know if I should pity him or be thankful for that fact.
“Okay, what’s going on with you?” Vivian’s voice cuts through my spiral, dragging me back to the present like a snapped rubber band.
I blink at her, then at the rest of the Dirty B’s, all of whom are now staring at me like I’m a new species of human. A weird species. One that doesn’t usually malfunction in the presence of romance novels.
“What do you mean?” I ask, summoning every ounce of casual detachment I possess. I reach for a hint of boredom, but it doesn’t sound right, even to me.
Lily narrows her eyes. “You haven’t said a single thing about the book. Or rolled your eyes at Vivian’s dramatics tonight.”
“Or looked at her phone once,” Carlie interjects, sipping her wine.
I blink at her, cringing slightly. Shit.
Tasia quirks an eyebrow and nods sagely. “Yeah, come to think of it, that’s super odd.”
“Are you kidding? It’s not just odd. It’s downright out of character,” Quinn quips, giving me a once over.
“What are you talking about? I’m not always on my phone,” I fire back, rolling my eyes.
The entire collective gasps.
Okay, so that’s probably fair.
Quinn crosses his legs and peers at me skeptically.. “Oh, she totally has something going on.”
I freeze, hoping that if I don’t make any sudden movements, they’ll all move on.
“I have to agree with Quinn. What’s up, Anna?” Lily asks, always the first to try to help out when none is necessary.
Shit.
“Nothing,” I say too quickly, reaching for my wine and taking a big gulp. Then I remember what I almost did last night and set it back down, shoving it away.
Vivian and Lily exchange a look. The kind of look that says we’re not letting this go.
“Anna,” Lily says, tilting her head. “Did something happen? Do you need to talk about it?”
I shake my head. “Nope. Right as rain over here.”
“You’re sure?” Vivian presses, smiling like a shark. “Because your whole energy is off. And that’s saying something.”
That’s because it is.
I swallow hard, refusing to look at any of them. Everything is fucking off. My world is no longer tilting at the same axis.
Tasia leans in, eyes sparking with the kind of curiosity that could rival my mother’s. “Is it work? Or—” She pauses, her eyes flashing with mischief. “Is it because of Joel?”
Oh god. Why did she have to say his name?
Carlie sits up straighter, suddenly invested. “Oh yeah. I forgot about all that. How has it been living with Joel?”
I feel the blood drain from my body and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
Vivian claps her hands together. “Oh my god. It is about Joel! I knew it. Spill.”
“There is nothing to spill,” I lie, reaching for the wine again because, fuck it.
Quinn sighs dramatically. “Anna. Doll, we are here to support you. If you can’t lean on us, who can you lean on?”
I glare at all of them as I take another sip, savoring in the taste of regret and bad decisions as it washes over my tongue. “There is nothing going on.”
Tasia eyes me suspiciously. “Then why do you look like you want to sink into the floor?”
I open my mouth. Then close it. Then consider launching myself out the nearest window. But it’s at the front of the store and that’s too far away.
This is fine. Everything is fine.
Then—my phone buzzes.
“Oh, see? Me, being totally normal,” I say, making a show of picking up my phone. I glance down, and immediately, I go back to wanting to die.
Joel: Have fun at Dirty B’s. Don’t forget to ask if any of the men wanna band together to form Dirty Bastards.
I hate him.
I really hate him.
But… unfortunately, my traitorous mouth twitches. Just a little.
And unfortunately, Vivian sees it.
She gasps, slapping the armrest on her chair. “Oh my god.”
I straighten. “What.”
“Oh-ho-ho. Oh. That was a smile. Was the text from Joel? I want see,” she says, untangling her legs and attempting to beeline my direction.
I school my face into neutrality and shove my phone under my thigh. “No, it wasn’t. It was work. And I don’t smile.”
“It was absolutely a smile,” Lily confirms, her eyes lighting up like she just cracked the case of the century. “I saw it.”
I roll my eyes, but my heart is pounding in my ears so loud it might actually drown out this conversation if I let it.
“Prove it,” Vivian says, leaning over me. “If it wasn’t him, show me.”
“Rude. No,” I say, shoving her back as I press my leg down for good measure, You never know, she might make a grab for it. Honestly, I wouldn’t put it past her.
“Come on, Anna. You never get weird about book club unless something’s messing with your head.” She pauses. “Or someone.”
I shake my head aggressively. “Nope. Absolutely not.”
Quinn smirks. “Oh, I bet it is.”
Lily grins like a mad woman. “I second that.”
“Oh my god, you don’t know anything,” I attempt. “You’re all just—”
Vivian cuts me off. “Anna. Dear, sweet, Anna. You are spiraling over a man. And not just any man. Joel Price. The guy you swore you’d never speak to again. The guy you have hated for years.”
Oh my god, she just used air quotes.
“I still hate him,” I say automatically, my face deadpanning.
Vivian crosses her arms. “Do you?”
“Yes!”
She tilts her head, unconvinced. “Then why were you smiling?”
I scowl. “I wasn’t.”
“Oh, babe,” Vivian says, her smirk growing wicked. “You so were.”
“I wasn’t,” I repeat, doubling down because if I give even an inch, they will never let this go.
Carlie hums, studying me like I’m a live specimen under a microscope. “Let’s just unpack this for a second.”
“No, let’s not—”
She leans forward, resting her chin on her palm. “Joel sent you a text that made you smile. And you’re spiraling. So the real question here is…” Her lips quirk knowingly. “Why? What’s changed? If I were writing this out, you’d be falling, enemies to lovers style.”
I hate that my face burns hotter. I’m not the one who gets all weird about a boy. I’m not the one who fucking spirals. And I’m definitely not falling enemies to lovers style.
“I’m not spiraling,” I insist, refusing to acknowledge the last part.
Vivian waves a hand. “Okay, fine. Then tell us why you’re acting like you’ve had a full-blown existential crisis since you sat down.”
“I haven’t—”
Lily cuts in, her voice all faux-casual. “Is it the book?”
I go rigid.
Shit.
Quinn gasps dramatically. “Oh my god. Is it the book?”
“No—” I say too quickly, gripping my glass again like it’s the only thing keeping me tethered to reality. “Why would it be the book?”
Vivian’s eyes narrow, sharp as hell. How is it she can spot drama, but can’t tell when it’s okay to pass on a highway?
“Because, Anna, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you look personally victimized by this week’s pick,” she taunts, a little too knowingly for my liking.
Why am I getting the impression I’m not going to win this?
Carlie tilts her head. “Which is weird, because you were the one who suggested it.”
Vivian gasps, pretending to clutch at pearls around her neck. “You did.”
Quinn lifts a brow. “Wait. Wait, wait, wait. That’s right.” He eyes me, then the book, then me again. “Oh-ho, this just got way more interesting.”
“No, it didn’t,” I snap, but my voice is too defensive.
Quinn ignores me entirely, turning to Vivian. “What was that thing she said last week? About how this book was super well-written? Which, I must vouch for, by the way.” He fans himself and sighs dramatically.
Vivian snaps her fingers. “Right! She was all, ‘The tension is practically dripping off the page’—”
“Oh my god.” I cover my face with my hands. I did. I did say that.
Quinn grins triumphantly. “And now she can’t even look at it. That’s so fascinating.”
I groan, dragging my hands down my face. “Fine. You really want to know what’s wrong with me?”
Vivian gestures around dramatically. “Yes, that is literally what we’ve been trying to accomplish for the past twenty minutes.”
I take a deep breath, mentally preparing for impact.
Then I drop the bomb.
“Joel found my book.”
Silence.
Then—
Vivian gasps so hard, I’m actually worried she might pass out. She literally starts to shake in excitement as her brain starts to process.
Lily leans forward. “Which book?”
I glare, grabbing my copy from the table and waving it in the air. “Which one do you think?”
Carlie’s lips twitch. “Oh no.”
Quinn wiggles his eyebrows way too enthusiastically. “Oh, yes.”
Tasia exhales deeply, shaking her head. “Oh, this is so much more entertaining than I expected.”
I point at her. “You didn’t expect anything, because I wasn’t going to tell you.”
She snickers in response. “Whatever you say.”
Vivian’s entire body is vibrating now. “Okay, okay, let me just—” She fans herself dramatically. “So. Joel found your book.” Her grin is feral. “And?”
I groan again. “And he read it.”
Lily’s brows lift. “The whole thing?”
“No—” I shut my eyes, praying for strength. “Just a little.”
Quinn practically squeals. “Oh my god, he read the sword-crossing scene, didn’t he?”
I sink further into my seat. “He read the sword-crossing scene.”
Chaos.
Absolute, pandemonium erupts.
Vivian is cackling. Tasia presses her hands to her cheeks like she’s experiencing secondhand embarrassment or something. Quinn is just sitting back, sipping his wine like this is his Super Bowl. The bastard.
Carlie? She just smirks knowingly and mutters, “I’d totally put that in an enemies to lovers novel.”