Chapter 25
Anna
I cannot breathe.
I mean, technically, I am breathing. My lungs are working. My heart is definitely still beating—too fast, too hard, too much.
But my brain? Completely fried.
Because I just kissed Joel Price.
And not just kissed him.
I grabbed him, pulled him in, melted against him like he was the only thing keeping me upright, and then—then—I let him take me apart, piece by piece, with his mouth, his hands, his words.
I want you.
The memory claws at me like my teenage dream come to life.
I feel it everywhere.
My lips are still tingling, my body still on fire, and I swear I can feel his hands on my waist even though he’s not touching me anymore.
And that’s a problem.
Because if I don’t move, I might do it again.
I inhale—big, deep, calming breath. Then exhale.
It doesn’t help.
Because every single nerve in my body is still vibrating, still clinging to the memory of his hands, his mouth—his stupid, stupid words.
I step back too quickly, too abruptly, like he’s made of lava. My back slams into the gate, causing it to clang far too loudly for my liking.
Joel just watches me, eyes unreadable, chest still rising and falling too fast.
“You okay there, Ace?”
His voice is too soft, too careful.
Like he’s trying not to scare me off.
I scowl. “I—yes. Fine. Totally fine. What? I’m great. Perfect, even.”
He hums, studying me. “Really?”
“Really.”
Joel tilts his head, green eyes searching mine.
And God, why does he always look at me like that?
Like I’m something he wants to figure out, wants to understand—wants to keep.
My stomach flips violently.
“Because you look like you just had a religious experience.”
Oh my God.
“Get over yourself,” I mutter, running a frantic hand through my hair.
Joel doesn’t grin.
Not this time.
His lips part slightly, like he’s about to say something else, something important, but I can’t—I don’t want to hear it.
Because what if he says something else I can’t ignore?
What if he’s right?
My lips are still tingling.
My fingers are still curled into fists, like I’m holding on to the last shred of my self-control.
And he sees it.
He knows.
I force myself to move. Take a small sidestep. Get space. Get distance. Get sanity.
“That was—” My voice does not sound normal. I clear my throat, try again. “That was… probably a mistake.”
Joel’s brows lift. “Probably?”
Abort. Abort.
“I mean—” I shake my head frantically. “Definitely. A mistake. Absolutely. Forget it ever happened.”
Joel’s expression tightens.
Like that was the wrong thing to say.
His throat bobs as he swallows, his gaze flickering over my face, as if trying to piece together what’s happening in my head.
And I don’t know why I feel guilty.
I don’t know why it physically hurts to call it a mistake.
Because it wasn’t.
It so wasn’t.
But if I say that out loud, everything changes.
So I don’t.
I don’t say anything at all.
The silence between us stretches—thick, weighted, dangerous.
Joel is still watching me, but now there’s something else in his expression. Something sharper. He’s standing there, chest still rising and falling too fast, jaw tight, like he wants to call bullshit but doesn’t know if he should.
Because he’s waiting.
Waiting for me to take it back.
Waiting for me to say something real.
I can’t let him see how shaken I actually am. How I can still taste him. Or how I still feel like I’m coming apart at the seams—like something big and terrifying and irreversible just happened, and I don’t know how to put myself back together.
I swallow, the lie still bitter on my tongue.
His gaze flickers down—to my lips, to my fists clenched at my sides. He sees it.
He knows I’m lying.
And I hate that.
I hate that he’s always been able to see through me.
I take another step.
His jaw tics, but he doesn’t stop me.
Doesn’t move at all.
It’s like he’s forcing himself to stay still. Like if he reaches for me now, he won’t be able to stop.
I suck in another shaky breath, trying to steady myself, but my chest is too tight. I can still feel his hands on my waist. The way he held me there, like he needed me as much as I needed him.
And God, the way he kissed me—
I squeeze my eyes shut.
No.
No, I can’t think about this now.
Because if I do, I’ll fall apart completely.
I press my palm against the gate behind me, grounding myself.
Joel watches the movement. His lashes fluttering like he’s barely holding himself back.
Like if I gave him even the smallest opening—he’d close the space between us again. A part of me actually wishes he would. Is that as wrong as it sounds?
I suck in a breath—about to say something, anything, just to cut through the tension.
And then, because the universe hates me—
“Anna? Joel?”
I freeze.
Joel’s head snaps up, his whole body tensing.
Oh, no.
Oh, no no no.
I know that voice.
And from the way Joel suddenly looks like a deer caught in headlights, he’s more than aware, too.
Slowly, like we’re about to be caught committing a crime, we turn.
And there she is.
My mother.
Standing just a few feet away, eyebrows lifted, arms crossed over her chest.
She takes one long look at the two of us—me, still pink-faced, still breathless. Joel, stiff and suspiciously silent. The inches between us that feel like nothing at all.
And then she smiles.
Not just any smile, either.
A full, beaming, happy-mother smile.
I swear, I just about black out.
“Oh,” she says, voice too damn soft, too damn pleased. “Finally.”
I choke on air.
Joel visibly swallows as he turns to me with questioning eyes.
I step forward frantically, still spiraling.
“Mom—this isn’t—” I wave my hands wildly between me and Joel. “It’s not—”
She waves me off. “Oh, sweetheart.”
She clutches her chest like I’ve just given her the best news of her life.
“Oh, sweetheart,” she says again, shaking her head with so much emotion I think she might actually cry. “I hoped. I really, really hoped.”
Oh my God.
Oh my actual God.
This can’t be happening.
Joel shifts beside me, clears his throat, visibly trying to figure out what the hell to say. But there’s nothing to say and opting for—“I was just snogging your daughter”—probably not the best choice.
“Mrs. Ch—Liz,” he corrects himself quickly, “I—um—”
Mom doesn’t let him finish.
“Oh, honey,” she says, walking over to me so she can grab both of my hands like we’re in a freaking Hallmark movie. “I knew this would happen eventually. I just—I didn’t know when. But after that day in your kitchen…”
I am still in shock, still vibrating from the kiss that just changed my entire molecular structure, and my mother is acting like I just got engaged.
I pull my hands back. Quick. Abrupt. Panicked. “Mom. Stop.”
Joel looks like he wants to say something, but he’s clearly still recovering from being caught in this Twilight Zone episode.
“I’m serious,” she insists, grabbing my face like she used to when I was a kid. “This—this is what I wanted for you both.” She smiles at Joel like he’s my knight in shining armor.
I stare at her, horrified. “What?”
She cups my cheeks, beaming. “You two. Oh, Anna, I always knew.”
I wrench away, face blazing, wheel in my head spinning out of control. “You always knew what?”
She nods like she absolutely did. “Since you were kids. Appa, too. We knew if you two could just get over whatever issues you had, you’d find a way back to each other.”
I look at Joel.
Joel looks at me.
We both visibly malfunction.
Mom sighs, patting my cheek. “Oh, honey. You don’t see it, do you?”
See what? The absolute disaster that is my life right now? The fact that my entire world just shifted off its axis, and I have no idea what to do with it?
And then, because the universe is on a mission to fully destroy me—
“Anna? Where—oh, what the hell is this?”
I turn slowly, like I’m being punked.
And there he is.
Ethan.
Holding Mina in his arms, my adorable, innocent one-year-old niece, while his wife, Tessa, stands behind him, brows raised.
I swear, my soul leaves my body.
Because Ethan is not stupid.
And he’s definitely not blind. Or deaf. He heard that damn song.
His gaze sweeps over the scene. Me. Joel. Our mother—literally glowing with pride.
He blinks once. Twice. Then his expression shifts.
And then—he knows.
Ethan’s jaw locks.
His entire body tenses.
He looks at me, then at Joel, then back at me, and I can actually see the moment it clicks.
“Oh, hell no,” he mutters, passing Mina to Tessa without even looking away.
Joel immediately takes a step forward, palms up.
“Ethan,” he says, cautious, but calm. “Listen, man—”
Ethan cuts him off. “What the actual is going on here?”
Mom sighs, so incredibly deeply, you’d think she was summoning all of the ancient gods to her aid.
Tessa, to her credit, doesn’t look surprised at all.
I, however, am about to self-destruct. This all too much.
Ethan’s gaze snaps to me.
“Anna?” His voice is way too sharp.
I make a strangled noise.
“Ethan, it’s fine,” Mom interjects, clearly exasperated. “This is wonderful news.”
Ethan’s eye twitches.
Joel tries again, his voice steady. “Look, I care about your sister—”
“You care about my sister?” Ethan repeats, indignation painting his tone.
Mom groans, rubbing her temples. “For heaven’s sake.”
Joel visibly steels himself. “Yeah. I do.”
And just like that, Ethan looks like he’s ready to commit murder.
“Are you kidding me?” Ethan gestures wildly between us. “How long? When the hell did this start?”
I gape at him. “I—what?”
“Don’t ‘what’ me. Was it before or after I suggested he stay with you, Anna?”
I shake my head frantically. “It’s not like that. We’re not—it’s nothing!”
Joel’s jaw tightens.
Something flickers in his expression.
Something that feels like disappointment.
My stomach plummets.
Ethan lets out a slow breath. Runs a hand through his hair. Then exhales, still looking like he’s trying to wrap his head around this.
Same, bro. Same.
Ethan’s voice is sharp, cutting, filled with something too tangled to name.
“Really, Joel?” He shakes his head, muttering a curse under his breath. “You pick now to do this? At Mina’s party?”
Joel flinches.
My chest tightens.
Ethan’s words cut too deep, and the worst part? I see it hit Joel.
I see it in the way his jaw locks. In the way his shoulders shift, how his fingers twitch at his sides—like he wants to fix this, but he doesn’t know how.
And for some reason, that makes something snap inside me.
“That’s not fair,” I blurt before I can stop myself.
Joel’s head whips toward me, startled.
Ethan’s brows shoot up.
Oh.
Oh, crap.
I don’t know why I said it.
I just know I had to.
Ethan narrows his eyes. “Since when do you defend him?”
Joel visibly stills.
And I feel it—the sudden shift in the air, the weight of what Ethan just said pressing into my chest.
Because he’s right.
I don’t defend Joel.
I never have.
So why am I doing it now?
I cross my arms, defensive. “I’m not—defending him, I’m just—”
Ethan lifts a brow. “You’re just what?”
I clench my jaw. “This wasn’t his fault.”
Ethan lets out a sharp breath, shaking his head. “Jesus, Anna.”
I tense. “What?”
His gaze flicks between me and Joel, like he’s seeing something for the first time.
And I hate it.
I hate that look.
Because it’s recognition.
It’s realization.
And I’m not remotely prepared for it.
Ethan exhales slowly, pressing his fingers to his temples. “You know what? I should have known.”
I swallow.
Joel doesn’t say a word.
“I should have seen it,” Ethan mutters, shaking his head again. “I mean, it was all right there. Wasn’t it?”
Joel shifts, finally speaking. “Ethan, man, I swear—”
“Don’t. Don’t go into it.” Ethan glares at him. “Because the second you say it out loud, I’ll have to accept that it’s happening and I’m not ready for that yet.”
Joel presses his lips together.
And somehow, that makes it worse.
Because he respects Ethan too much to push it.
Ethan sighs. “Look, I don’t know if I want to punch you or just walk away.”
Mom, who has been watching all of this like it’s the best movie she’s ever seen, finally steps in.
“Enough,” she says, firm but gentle.
Ethan huffs. “Mom—”
“Ethan.” She rests a hand on his arm, her look far too knowing.
Ethan settles, the words he was about to say snuffed out before they even start.
Hell, even Tessa is beaming at us.
My chest tightens.
I can feel Joel’s eyes on me.
Can feel the way Ethan is watching me, waiting.
And for the first time in my life, I don’t know what to say.
Because if I say nothing, that means I’m not denying it.
And I can’t lie to myself anymore.
Mom smiles, voice warm, filled with certainty. “Just be happy, sweetheart.”
I glance over my shoulder at Joel, his soulful green eyes watching me like I’m the key to his own personal universe.
And for the first time in years, I wonder if I could let myself be.