Chapter 4
Pax
Detached. That’s my sole objective here. But fuck that. This girl needs more. I can feel it.
“You want more, Sully?” I can already feel myself hardening again.
“More?”
Her hands grip my shoulders as I feel her thighs clench around my waist, so I glide her up along my dick. “Ya, baby. Whatever you want.”
“I don’t want to have sex,” she says even though she licks her bottom lip. I’m definitely not here to pressure her into anything she doesn’t want, but I get the sense that she wants more. She’s curious. Thirsty for more.
“Sully.” I look her in the eyes. “You can do whatever you want with me. Explore. Try anything you want. I won’t hurt you, and I’m up for anything.
” My reputation as a playboy has gotten around for good reason.
And even though right now I’m offering myself up to her, I don’t feel like an object.
I feel like I’m part of something more important.
Does that sound crazy? Probably. But there’s something about Sully that I want to fill.
And no, I don’t mean her pussy. It’s like she’s eager and looking for something, and I could be that something.
Even just for one night. Shit, that hits something deep in my chest. And as I lay here, waiting for her answer, I realize I’m holding my breath.
“Ya. I could try more.”
“What do you want?”
I don’t know what I’m expecting, but it’s not this.
“Would you…kiss me?”
In one swift move, I reach behind me and whip off my shirt.
Then I caress her face. Leaning in, I give her a chance to close the distance.
When she does, soft lips rest on mine for a moment before swiping across my mouth.
Softly, I kiss her in return until I feel her chest exhale deeply and know that she’s settled.
Then I draw my tongue along her lip until she opens for me.
She’s so fucking sweet. She’s nothing like the women I usually hook up with.
And this kiss might be my worst mistake.
But I’m not letting that get to me. Right now, all I want is to be what she needs.
The kiss deepens and grows hotter by the second. She rubs herself on my abs and her naked pussy is soaked. Fuck, she feels amazing. I love how she explores, not just me but her own body.
“Can I-can I feel you?” She pants over my mouth.
“Anything, baby.”
When she slides her drenched pussy along my dick, we both groan at the contact. Pure bliss. She bites down on my bottom lip in a deep moan. Her body shakes in my hands, and she drops her forehead to my shoulder. I hear her chanting, Ohmygodohmygod, in my ear.
Her greedy pussy rubs up and down my pole for so long I think I’m about to come. But then she slows her movements at the top and the tip slides into her.
Her whole body stills at the same time I do. Her eyes lift to mine in shock, and a flood of emotions soars through her eyes. The last of which breaks through my lust. Guilt.
I pull out and wrap her in my arms. But it’s too late. I hear a soft sniffle. Shit.
“What’s wrong, Sully?”
It takes her a moment to catch the breath caught in her throat, but finally she chokes out, “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
“It’s okay, baby. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
But she’s shaking her head. At least she’s clinging to me and not pushing me away. Not sure if that’s much hope at all, but it feels like something.
“I’m not…this kind of girl. I don’t just sleep with people. I’ve never been with anyone before. Oh my God. I can’t believe I let this happen.”
“It’s okay. You’re allowed to explore this side of you.”
“Not like this,” she mutters.
“Like what?”
After a deep breath, she opens up. When she catches my eye, I wipe at the tears on her cheeks. “Sex is supposed to be about love. And obviously that’s not what this is.”
This isn’t about love. She’s right. And even though I don’t believe sex and love have to be entwined, still, her words cut. More so because her head hangs down in shame.
“It doesn’t always have to be like that—”
“I’ve just always believed it should be like that.”
“Why?”
Her eyes snap back to mine. “It’s just the way I was raised. I know it’s too traditional, but it’s hard to shake the voices in my head.”
“Listen,” I hold her closer. “You didn’t do anything wrong. We stopped the second you felt you went too far. Trust yourself. Trust your body.”
“You’re not upset?”
“Fuck, no.”
That makes her chuckle for some reason. “You realize that sounded a little aggressive, right?”
“Hey, I’m a passionate person. I might come across intense, but I’ll never lie to you. I promise I’m not upset. Can you handle this fucking level of intensity though?” I squeeze her hips to make her chuckle again because I hate seeing this innocent girl cry.
“Thanks for stopping. And um…thanks for not expecting more.”
I don’t know what makes me do it, but I kiss her temple softly. Protectively. “I’m here for you.” The words linger in my brain long after I leave.