6. Blast from the Past
Carla glanced at Matt,who was doing his best to ignore his wife’s shenanigans. He was passing a vacuum back and forth over the same area of floor over and over, listening to the dinging sound of dating app notifications from Carla’s laptop. Carla tried to conceal her smile as he asked questions, indicating his interest in the situation. “Who was that?” he asked.
“A guy named… ew. Boris. That is not a gardener”s name.”
“Uh, I don’t think gardeners get to hand-choose their names. It’s not his fault his parents named him Boris. What does he look like? And what would a gardener’s name be?”
Carla stared thoughtfully at her screen for a moment. “Hmm… maybe… Gus?”
“Gus? Whatever. What does Boris look like?”
“He’s not Gia’s type.”
“What’s Gia’s type, then?”
“Not Boris.” Carla glanced at Matt, who had stopped pretending to vacuum and was standing behind the couch, staring at the computer screen. “Listen, either you’re in or you’re out. If you’re in, sit your butt down and help me. If you’re out—pretend to do chores somewhere else!”
Matt scoffed, but plopped himself down on the couch next to his wife. They both stared at the laptop screen. No more than ten minutes had passed since Carla had finished her friend’s dating profile, and the messages and ‘likes’ were already flowing in.
“I don’t know how I let you rope me into this,” Matt said, raising his eyes to the ceiling. “I swore I didn’t want to get involved—didn’t want to know a thing about this!”
“And yet here you are.” Carla smirked. “You know you want to help Gia just as much as I do. Like it or not, it’d make things easier if we could all hang out together with no one feeling like a third wheel.”
“I do not feel like a third wheel. And if I did, I wouldn’t hang out with you two. And, if you feel like I’m a third wheel, then maybe I won’t from now on,” Matt said, turning his head away to keep Carla from seeing the subtle hurt in his eyes.
“Awww, Matty, don’t be butt hurt! I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant it’d make things so much easier—like double dates and stuff.” Carla reached behind her with both arms to wrap them around Matt’s neck and pull him in closer to her. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” he scoffed, still pretending to be offended but unable to hide the interest he had developed in the little project. “Okay, so, who do we have? Who are our options?” he asked, looking intently at the screen.
“Well,” Carla started, “there’s weird, creepy faux-hawk guy.” She wrinkled her nose as she flipped through the photographs on the screen. “He does not look like the gardening type.” She shrugged.
“No. No, he does not. Swipe left,” Matt told her, and she nodded in response, swiping her finger left across the touchscreen on the computer.
“What about Mr. Too-Tight-Leather-Pants?” She chuckled, rolling her eyes. “These aren’t the type of men I was expecting to find on here.”
They continued to flip through the pictures, swiping left repeatedly, muttering “no” in unison. Several minutes later, they gave up.
“I need a break. This is exhausting. I see why Gia chose to take a step back from this nonsense,” Carla said, moving the laptop aside and standing up. She glanced at her phone, which she had silenced, and considered calling Gia back.
As if he could read her mind, Matt interrupted her thoughts. “What’re you going to tell her you’ve been doing all this time?” he asked, raising his eyebrows in question.
“I… I’m not sure. I’ll rely on my expert question evasion skills or just change the subject. It’s not like she needs to know what I’m doing twenty-four-seven.”
“No—but you usually tell her anyway.” Matt laughed.
“Ugh. I’ll just tell her you and I were busy. She won’t ask any more questions. She is so against men right now that she won’t even want to know anything else,” Carla said. It seemed like as good an excuse as any, and it wasn’t a lie.
“Fair enough,” Matt agreed. “Okay, let’s take a break and reconvene in an hour.”
Carla laughed out loud. “I think you may officially be even more into this than I am,” she accused, the corners of her mouth rising into a grin.
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but beyond you, I really don’t have much of a life,” he admitted, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close.
“Oh, I’ve noticed, and I’m just fine with it. We have a beautiful life. Now, we need to make the same happen for Gia.” Just as Carla finished her sentence, a loud ding signified a new notification from Only Gardeners, causing both to glance down at the still-opened computer.
Simultaneously, both of their jaws dropped. “Benjamin Marshall!?” Carla squealed, her eyebrows raising practically off her forehead.
“I thought he moved to another country to hug trees and save the planet or something?” Matt asked.
“He did. I guess he’s back. And, man, did he ‘glow up’ during his travels!”
“You mean ‘grow up?’”
“No. I meant what I said. The nerdy boy got hot!” Realizing immediately what she’d just said in the presence of her husband, she backtracked. “Not as hot as you. I mean for Gia. You know what I mean. I mean… I love you,” she rambled, tripping over her words.
“Ordinarily, I might be offended. But, in this case, I very heterosexually agree that that man is, in fact, hot—for Gia, of course,” Matt admitted. “What was the notification? Did he like us? I mean her. I mean, I don’t know what I mean.”
“He messaged us. Her.” Carla froze as she read the message that appeared on the screen:
Hey Gia,
I know it’s been a long time. I was surprised to see you on here. I had heard you’d gotten married. I’m glad you’re still gardening. Can we meet to talk about what happened before I left for Brazil?
Ben
Carla and Matt looked perplexed.
“What happened before Brazil?” Carla asked aloud. “I didn’t even know they talked when he lived here… and I thought I knew everything about Gia. This is not acceptable!”
“Carla, I can see where this is going. As usual, I will be the voice of reason and tell you right now—don’t do it. Don’t get involved. Don’t meddle. This isn’t just some random guy from the internet. There’s obviously at least some type of history here, and it’s not your place to put the puzzle together. If she didn’t tell you, it was probably for a reason.”
Carla waved Matt off. “Just a few messages to see where it goes. It’s for Gia,” she said and began typing a response.
Dear Ben,
It’s lovely to hear from you. You look great. I am recently divorced. Which part of what happened before you left did you want to discuss?
Gia
“Carla, I’m telling you right now. This is a bad idea. You’re going to dig a hole much deeper than any you’ve dug before, and you’re risking a very good friendship,” Matt advised.
“Matt, it’s fine. It’ll be fine. I’m just doing a little bit of research for the project. You were super into it until just a couple of minutes ago. This could be a critical positive development!”
“Or a terrible one. And can we please stop referring to it as ‘the project’?”
“Sure, sure,” she said, waving him off dismissively again. “Now, you’re either in the Gia Project or out. If you’re in, sit down and wait for his response. If you’re out, will you please go make me a sandwich?” Her lips formed into a fake pout, but a smirk tugged at the corners of her mouth.
She knew he was in. Part of her was disappointed, though. She was hungry again and could have used a sandwich.
Another notification sound caused them to whip their heads around to face the screen. Matt let himself fall butt-first onto the couch. “I know I’m going to regret this,” he muttered.