16. Positive
Gia clenchedthe cell phone in her hand as she made her way back toward her house. The login information to the dating site could potentially change her life and that of her child—her entire family dynamic, really. Aiden had been conceived during her and Ben’s brief but passionate love affair. For two young kids just out of high school barely getting to know one another, the news of the pregnancy came as a surprise at best.
Gia entered the living room and sat on the recliner, opening the footrest portion and stretching her legs. She held her phone against her chest and closed her eyes momentarily, remembering the day her life changed in ways she had never imagined possible.
Gia held the pregnancy test between her fingers, jaw dropped and eyes wide. “How could this happen?” she muttered to herself, bringing her hands to her face and resting them against her cheeks, hot to the touch. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes until she could no longer hold them back, and they streamed down her face in torrents. Gia knew exactly how it had happened, but it was just that one time without protection. The first time.
She had been feeling ill for several weeks, lethargic, exhausted, and constantly nauseous, especially when she forgot to eat. Finally, it clicked in her mind, and she’d purchased the home pregnancy test without telling a soul. It would be negative, anyway. It had to be, she remembered thinking. However, as she sat there awaiting the results, it turned out it was not.
Positive.
Gia was pregnant.
She managed to get from the bathroom to her bedroom unnoticed by her mother, who was downstairs in the kitchen preparing dinner. She climbed into her bed, curled up into a ball and clenched her arms around her legs. The tears became unstoppable then. Torrents of regret poured down her face. She loved Ben, but how could she tell him about this? Their plans certainly didn’t include a baby! They were supposed to join World Corps, travel to Brazil, and embark upon the adventure of theirlives—a pregnancy just didn’t fit the plan.
After her tears had stopped—at least for the time being—Gia reached for the phone near the side of her bed. She picked it up and dialed Ben’s number, holding her breath while waiting for him to answer.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Ben. It’s Gia.”
“Hey, you! What’s up? Why does your voice sound funny? Are you okay?”
“Uh,” Gia hesitated, unsure if this was the type of information one supplied over the phone. “I’m not really, but I need to see you in person. Can you come over?”
“… I don’t like the way this sounds. Are you breaking up with me?”
“I, uh, no. I mean, I didn’t even know we were officially together.”
“Well, I guess we never really talked about it. But, if you want to end things, can you just tell me now and save me the trip there?”
“Ben… That’s not it. I really need you to come over,” Gia said, her voice hitching as the words came out. “Please?”
“Okay, as long as that’s not what you’re going to tell me, I’ll be right there. Do you need anything on my way?”
“No, I’m okay. Just hurry, please.” Gia’s voice sounded shaky, and Ben must have noticed the urgency.
“Okay, I’m on my way right now. No stops. Hang tight.”
The time between hanging up the phone and Ben’s arrival was only minutes, but to Gia, it felt like hours. She felt paralyzed, unable to move, incapable of rational thought. Straightening up her posture and wiping the tears from her swollen eyes, she regained her composure for a moment.
“Mom?” Gia yelled.
“Mmmhmm?” her mother called back, her mouth clearly occupied with tasting some part of what would be dinner.
“Ben’s coming over for a little bit. Can you just tell him to come up? I’m in the middle of some Brazil research,” she lied.
“Of course. Is he staying for dinner? There’s plenty!”
“Uhm, I—I’m not sure. I don’t think so.”
“Okay, make sure to invite him. I like Ben. He’s such a nice boy. Smart, too.”
“I will. Just send him up, okay?”
“Okie dokie!”
A few minutes later, Gia heard Ben’s car pull up. She glanced out her bedroom window to see him parking at the curb in front of her room. She watched as he walked from the car to the front of her house, a look of concern in his expression Gia hadn’t yet seen from him. When they were together, they were usually planning out their exciting future, not dealing with surprise teenage pregnancy. She could only imagine how he would react when he learned about their… situation.
Gia heard the doorbell ring, and her mom answered it, exchanging a few pleasantries with Ben before directing him to Gia’s room. Three gentle knocks at her closed door told her he had made it. “Come in,” Gia told him. “It’s unlocked.”
The door handle turned, and Ben appeared, ducking his head into the doorway before the rest of his body followed. He looked so young to Gia today. So unprepared for the news she was about to throw at him.
“Is everything okay? What’s going on? You sounded upset on the phone.” Ben walked over to Gia”s bed and gazed into her eyes, trying to ascertain the reason behind her strange mood.
“I… I’m not okay. I don’t know what to do. How could this happen?” Gia brought her hands to her face and cradled it, covering her eyes to avoid looking at Ben. It was clear from their puffy redness that she had already been crying.
“How could what happen, Gia?” Ben’s eyebrows were furrowed in concern and confusion. He sat beside her and placed a hand on her knee. “What’s going on?” he asked, his voice soft and comforting but worried. Before Gia could respond, Ben’s expression shifted to one of surprise and panic as his eyes caught the pregnancy test resting on the nightstand beside the bed. Taking note of the + symbol, Ben shook his head a few times as the meaning of the symbol sunk in. “You?” he asked, sounding terrified. Gia nodded. “Me?” Ben questioned. She nodded again.
“Who else? It’s only been you. It’s only ever been you.”
Ben gave her a look that showed her he already knew. He trusted her. “I know,” he confirmed once he could find the words. “What—what do we do?” Ben asked the question, but no words came. He didn’t wait for a response or ask again. Instead, he reached his arms around Gia, pulled her down onto the bed so they were lying down, and hugged her close to provide comfort. They remained that way for several minutes, letting the news sink in and silently processing it.
Finally, Gia interrupted the silence. “I want to keep it.”
“What?” Ben said, his expression unreadable.
“I want to have the baby, and I want to keep it. It’s part of me. It’s part of us.” Gia touched her stomach. While there were no external changes to her body, she imagined that inside, there was a part of her and Ben growing with each passing day.
“What about Brazil?” Ben asked. Gia didn’t fault him for the insensitive question at that moment. She knew it had to be asked. That was their plan. It had been Ben’s plan even before he and Gia had grown close. She knew that from the second he’d accepted the volunteer position at World Corps, it was never optional. There was never any question. It was the next step in his life—the step that would get him out of this small town where he’d spent his whole life. He had made it clear that he saw it as his only escape and Gia worried that this would seem like some sort of trap that had been set to hold him back from his future.
“Maybe Brazil can wait, maybe—I don’t know. Maybe when we’re older, we can?—”
“Gia,” Ben interrupted. “You said so yourself; we weren’t even officially together. I don’t know what any of this means. But I can’t give up Brazil—not for you, not for a kid I don’t even know.”
“Your kid. Our kid.”
“I need time to think,” Ben countered. “This is a lot. This is just—it’s a lot.”
Gia nodded, trying to appear understanding, but feeling as if she could break apart into tiny pieces. None of this was easy for her, and she knew it couldn’t be for him, either. Fighting off the urge to burst into sobs, she merely said, “I get it. We can talk later.”
Ben threw his legs around to the side of the bed and rose to his feet. Gia could see tears forming in the corners of his eyes as he kissed her on the forehead, and she could tell he was trying to hold them back. She had already had her first cry over this; it was his turn, and she could tell Ben wanted to be alone. He deserved that, at least.
Ben squeezed her hand, whispered, “I’m sorry,” and walked out her bedroom door.