19. Arrangements
Her hands trembling slightly,Gia navigated the Only Gardeners app, arriving in the messages folder and seeing the unopened envelope icon next to Ben’s profile image. She breathed deep into her lungs and held it for several seconds before releasing it and clicking the message open.
Dear Gia,
Do you know me? How could I ever give up coffee? Especially after living in Brazil—some of the best in the world there. Just say where and when…
Ben
Gia rolled her eyes. She knew he didn’t say it to be intentionally insensitive, but the mention of Brazil rubbed her the wrong way. After all, she had given up the potentially life-changing experience Brazil offered for an entirely different life by choosing Aiden. She chose her child. And, while she had absolutely no regrets about that decision, the mention of Brazil and how Ben had chosen that adventure over her and Aiden still stung. It was as if Ben had pulled the scab off a still-healing wound with a single message.
Gia began typing.
Ben,
I wouldn’t kno?—
Realizing she was about to respond very passive-aggressively, Gia deleted the start of her message and began again.
Ben,
I’m sure they have excellent coffee. The café on Main Street has decent drinks—maybe not Brazilian, but not bad. I can meet you there tomorrow after my kids get off to school. We can talk then, but I can’t stay long.
Gia
Gia needed to keep things short and sweet. She didn’t want to get caught up in anything emotional. This was strictly business. She would keep all of their discussion about Aiden. She knew they would have to meet eventually and that there would likely be some tough conversations ahead between her, her ex-husband, Aiden, and Ben… but for the time being, to maintain her sanity until the next day, emotions had to stay out of it. She was already overwhelmed with nostalgia and some bitterness from remembering their past the night before.
The little green circle over Ben’s image told her that he was currently online, and it took only moments for her message to change from ‘sent’ to ‘read,’ indicating that Ben had probably been awaiting her response. His turn, Gia thought. Despite her best efforts to avoid seeming overanxious, she couldn’t help herself. She placed her hand on her knee to stop her leg from bouncing, a dead giveaway indicating her nerves were on edge as she awaited another message from Ben. Luckily, she was alone.
It didn’t take long for her phone to vibrate again, with the new message icon appearing again at the top of the screen. She steadied her hands and read:
Gia,
Is 9 AM tomorrow okay?
This time, Ben didn’t sign his name formally at the bottom of the message, which Gia took to indicate it was becoming more of a back-and-forth chat than individual messages. She pulled open the calendar app on her phone to double-check her schedule tomorrow—something she realized should have been done before telling him she was available the next day in the first place. Perfect. I’m free until around 10, then a doctor’s appointment in the same area of town.
Gia smiled to herself. A ten o’clock doctor’s appointment meant she could easily escape the meeting without concocting an excuse. She was a terrible liar and tried avoiding it whenever possible because people always knew. Even her ‘little white lies’ were blatantly obvious! Gia left the formal greeting off her message to acknowledge their ongoing discussion.
Gia: Nine is good. I have a doctor’s appointment, so I can’t stay long.
Ben: You said that already.
Gia: Just reiterating.
Ben: Okay, then. See you at nine tomorrow at the Café on Main—Cold Brew, right? Good coffee.
Gia: See you at nine.
Gia recognized she was being blunt but refused to allow herself to get emotionally tied up in this before even seeing Ben. Maybe there would be more emotion during their meeting, or perhaps she could manage to keep it all business. Either way, this wasn’t the time for getting all swept up in the past. She had to maintain her composure. Her children would be back from her ex-husband’s house soon, and Gia wanted to keep this from them for as long as she could—at least until she and Ben sorted out what it all meant. What does he want from all this? Why is he back?
She couldn’t help but wonder what role Ben hoped to play in Aiden’s—and her—lives. As Aiden’s father, she wouldn’t begrudge his meeting with his son, but at the same time, he had abandoned them both. Coming back now, especially after Aiden had grown up knowing an entirely different father figure, would only complicate things.
What is he really entitled to beyond meeting Aiden?Gia scoffed to herself. She couldn’t help but let a hint of anger tinge her thoughts. It wasn’t fair for Ben to think he could simply swoop back in and shake up her son’s entire world, not to mention her’s. He had a choice many years ago, and he made it. It didn’t include them, so why should it now? We owe him nothing, Gia thought. Nothing at all. If he wants into our lives in any capacity, he’s got a lot of making it up to us to do.
Even so, Gia couldn’t help but let her mind—and heart—wander in the direction of some sort of romantic reunion. Was that what he wanted? Or was this solely about Aiden? After all, he was on a dating site—and so was she. Gia gave a gentle slap to her own face, scolding herself. No, Gia. Never again. Don’t even think it.
Gia rose from where she remained perched on the edge of the lounge chair, grabbed her garden harvest, and wandered into the house, heading toward the kitchen. She needed to return to her earlier distraction and get her mind off things. “Pesto time,” she said aloud, pulling the carefully bunched basil and herbs out of her basket and giving them a quick rinse under running water. Once she started moving around the kitchen, Gia knew she was a force to be reckoned with. Depending on her mood, she could whip up a mouthwatering cold dish in mere minutes or spend hours crafting and cooking the perfect comfort food.
Gia firmly believed that the best food always came from the freshest ingredients—and as far as she was concerned, nothing topped the produce from her garden. It made her feel good that she was significantly more self-sustainable—and ecologically friendly—than most of her friends when it came to feeding her family.
Gia pulled out the food processor, tossing in garlic and parmesan cheese as she tried to force her mind off the current situation playing out in her life. Lately, it almost felt like it wasn’t her own. Everything had been so dramatic over the past year, and it felt like she was on the outside looking in, jaw dropped low in shock as the hits just kept coming. She needed some sort of reprieve, some sort of… something!
As her mind wandered, she added the remaining ingredients to the food processor. She turned it on, pushing the pulse button repeatedly, allowing the machine to combine the ingredients until the mixture had reached the desired consistency. As she worked, she couldn’t help but think about how this was one of Carla and Matt’s favorites. Maybe she would bring them some as a peace offering to show them she wasn’t mad—not that mad, anyway.
She was in a way, but Gia knew she couldn’t stay angry with Carla for very long. It simply wasn’t possible. Despite everything, Carla was always there for her, especially over the past year. Gia also knew it would be driving her friend crazy that she was still in the dark over precisely what had happened between her and Ben originally—and where things stood now that Gia had the Only Gardeners login info.
She dialed Carla’s cell phone number. It rang several times more than she had expected under the circumstances. She was just about to hang up when Carla finally picked up.