Contrition （n.） – Olivia
CONTRITION (N.):
A DEFENDANT’S GENUINE REMORSE AND CLEAR ACCEPTANCE OF RESPONSIBILITY FOR AN OFFENSE, WHICH COURTS OFTEN CONSIDER AS A MITIGATING FACTOR TO POTENTIALLY REDUCE A SENTENCE.
OLIVIA
“Um…Liv?” Lindsay stepped in front of the couch, blocking my view of Law & Order: SVU.
“Get out of the way.” I groaned. “You’re going to make me miss the best part.”
“This is a rerun episode, and you watched it five times last week.”
“No, it’s my favorite episode.” I craned my neck. “Detective Stabler is about to say—”
“She was twelve years old, you sick fuck!” She uttered it with him, ruining the moment.
Then she picked up the remote and turned it off.
“What the hell are you doing?” I sat up. “I’m not bothering you.”
“Actually, you are.” She crossed her arms. “You have become a literal couch potato, and I’m pretty sure your skin is days away from fusing with our cushions.”
“Oh, please. You’re exaggerating.”
“You’ve showered like three times—at most—and whenever you’re not distracted by SVU, you’re crying about your boyfriend.”
“He was never my boyfriend.” I scoffed. “He was just a boss I screwed.”
“Right…” She rolled her eyes.
“I’m serious,” I couldn’t say those words without my voice wavering. “He was just great sex and a time-filler, and I don’t miss him at all.”
“Anyway…” She didn’t look the slightest bit convinced. “As your best friend, I’ve decided that today is the misery cutoff date.”
“What do you mean?”
“First, you’re going to get up and take a shower,” she said. “Then you’re going to wash the linens and couch cushions, while you finish two things.”
“What two things?”
“You seriously have to ask?” She walked over to the windows and opened the blinds, letting in sunlight I’d avoided for almost a month.
“You’re going to finish up that dirty judge article,” she said. “You don’t have to publish it, but you’re going to finish it, so you move on one hundred percent from him.”
I nodded slowly. “And the other thing?”
“You’re going to pick up where you left off and return to law school,” she said.
“What? Hell no.”
“I already started the applications for you.” She held up her hand before I could say another word. “I know the law clerk job was intense, but it’s the most focused and energized you’ve been in years.”
“I don’t want to be a lawyer, Lindsay…”
“Who said you had to be?” She stepped closer. “But you should finish and then use your law degree to do something else.”
“Or, I could just do something else…”
“You still have a huge passion for the legal world.” She read me like a book. “I think working under him slowly brought it back out of you, and it would be unfair for you to stifle it again.”
“Okay…I’ll apply to a few.”
“You’ll apply to twenty.” She clapped her hands. “After your shower.”
“Wait…” I stood up, stretching. “Do you think Liam is as miserable and sad as me? Or do you think the emotions are all one-sided?”
“I’m sure he misses you.”
“He hasn’t called or texted once.”
“Neither have you.”
“He’s not showing up and begging me to take him back.”
“Neither are you…”
“But he’s supposed to—”
“He’s supposed to show you who he really is, and he’s doing an amazing job.” She crossed her arms. “The moment you finish your article about him, you’re done because—even if he misses you—I’m pretty sure that you discovering what he did means he has to be done with you.”
I should’ve never looked into him, then…
“But what about—”
“The shower?” She pushed me. “Yes. Now.”