25. Angie
ANGIE
My eyes are bleary and I have a headache. I grind my fingers into my temple trying to ease the ugly pounding but that doesn’t help. I have to snap Connor’s books closed and stretch out on my couch, yawning, nearly knocking over one of about a dozen half-full teacups scattered around the space.
I’m pretty sure Connor gave me an impossible, worthless task to keep me busy. There are mentions of that UBI company in a few different places but none of them are adding up and it’s starting to drive me crazy.
“Forget it. I need a break.” I jump up, wiggling my fingers at the ceiling with a groan, and stalk into the hall. Colm’s gone from the door and I have a clear path into the main building. I pause at the top of the steps, not sure what to do with myself all of a sudden.
I can’t leave the grounds. I’m not supposed to go outside but Connor grudgingly said I can walk around the yard so long as I have a guard with me at all times.
Maybe I can go find Lisa and do whatever she’s doing, although that’ll probably be annoying.
I’m married to her boss, which kind of makes me her boss too?
I’m not sure how that’s supposed to work.
“Thinking about jumping?”
I yelp and turn. Rowan’s standing in the entrance to her wing, grinning at me. She’s in an oversized hoodie and a pair of shorts. Her hair has a fresh blue streak in the front.
“Something like that. I’m into the new look.”
“Got bored.” She strokes at her hair, eyes crossing as she tries to look at herself. “You think it’s okay? I haven’t actually seen a mirror yet.”
“Oh, god, I would’ve spent an hour staring at myself before eventually chickening out. I wish I had your confidence.”
“Hard to care about looks, you know?” She runs her finger down her scar. “Not when I look like this.”
“Stop it, you’re so pretty. That’s crazy.”
She hunches, pulling her hands into the sleeves of her hoodie. “I dunno, is it? Some guys at school used to call me scarface.”
“Wow, fuck them. Did you tell Connor about that?”
“Hell no. They’d be dead right now.”
I’m honestly not sure if she’s kidding and decide I don’t want to know. “Screw them. You’re gorgeous, for real. The scar’s nothing.”
She waves that off. “If you’re looking for something to do, I have more hair dye back in my room? And maybe you can meet my parents too.”
“That’d be great. The parents, not the dye.”
“I’ll convince you.” She perks up and I follow her into their wing.
She takes me to a room toward the back which turns out to be a massive living room with a huge couch and a TV blaring some reality show I don’t recognize.
There’s a kitchen and an older man is standing behind the counter in black gloves preparing some kind of ribs.
He looks up and I’m surprised at how much he resembles Connor, though his hair is streaked with gray.
He’s handsome and I like the way his eyes light up the second he sees Rowan.
“Blue this time, huh? Looks good, but I keep saying the pink was the best.”
“I haven’t gone pink in years. Dad, this is Angie, Connor’s wife.”
Connor’s father steps back from the big rack of meat and holds his spice-covered hands in the air. “I’d give you a massive hug, but you caught me at a bad time.”
“That’s okay, Mr. Maguire. It’s really nice to finally meet you.”
“Call me Cathal. I was wondering when Connor would release you from that prison.” He makes a face, chuckling to himself. “Leave it to my son to marry a woman and lock her up on the same day.”
“Dad, be nice.” Rowan plops onto a stool. “Is that dinner?”
“I figured I’d give the kitchen a break. You two ladies looking for something to do?”
“I caught that one gazing at the front door longingly.”
Cathal dips his chin as if he knows the feeling. “Freedom sounds nice right about now, but since we’re all in this gilded cage together, we might as well have ribs.”
“Dad thinks he’s a good cook,” Rowan stage-whispers to me. “But I’d call him more enthusiastic.”
“Keep going on like that and you’re not getting a single bite of this.” Cathal returns to prepping, smearing spice rub all over the rack. “Angie, welcome to the family. I’m only sorry it’s not a better time.”
“That’s okay. I’m glad to finally meet you at least.”
“Where’s Mom?” Rowan cranes her neck toward the couch. “Don’t tell me?—“
“I’m right here.” A younger woman pops up, rubbing sleep from her eyes. “What’s going on?” She stands, yawning. Late thirties, much younger than Cathal, and very pretty. Dark hair, designer clothes, a sharp smirk. “Is that who I think it is?”
“Your mother had too much wine last night.” Cathal waggles his eyebrows. “And now she’s paying for it.”
“I’ve never been hungover in my life!” Rowan’s mother gets up and walks over, thrusting a hand at me. “Danielle Maguire, good to meet you. I hope my husband hasn’t scared you off yet.”
“No, not at all.” We shake and her grip is firm. I look from her to Rowan to Cathal, mentally doing the math.
But Rowan steps in. “Me and Connor are half-siblings,” she explains.
“Like I could ever give birth to a demon like Connor.” Danielle pulls Rowan in tight while she pretends to complain. “His father and me got hitched years back, after his mom passed.”
“God rest her soul,” Cathal says reverently.
“Now we’re one big, fucked-up family.” Danielle sighs dramatically. “Did I ever tell you what Connor said to me the day me and your dad got married, Rowie?”
“A million times,” Rowan says.
“He told me, and I quote, if you break my father’s heart, I will cut out your tongue and shove it up your ass until you’re farting in showtunes.”
“That’s my boy,” Cathal says approvingly.
“Connor and Mom have a love-hate relationship,” Rowan says.
“Yeah, I hate him and he loves to hate me back.” Danielle squeezes harder. “But you’re my little precious darling Rowie, my love?—“
“Mom!” She wriggles herself free. “You know who Angie is, right?”
Danielle brushes herself off and steps toward me.
My heart stutters and I wonder why she’s got this intense look on her face all of a sudden.
Is she mad at me because I’m Connor’s wife?
And she clearly doesn’t get along with him?
But after a beat, she wraps her arms around me and hugs so hard it hurts my back.
“Thank you,” she says into my ear. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’ve been meaning to say that for a very long time. Thank you so much.”
“Oh, uh, you’re welcome?”
“My wife is very loving and affectionate,” Cathal says, patting the meat rack like it’s her rump.
“You saved my girl’s life and I can never repay you. Thank you. No matter what, even if you’re married to that prick Connor, I will always love you and have your back.”
Right. Of course. This is Rowan’s mother—I keep forgetting because she seems so young compared to Cathal.
I try to act like it’s no big deal but she grips my hands and holds my eyes and swears a blood oath to protect me always, which is unnecessary, since that’s what Connor’s doing, but it means a lot and I even catch Rowan wiping her eyes with the back of her sleeve.
“Well now, that’ll be good in a few hours.” Cathal slams the oven shut and cracks open a bottle of prosecco. “Shall we drink and tell embarrassing stories about my son?”
“Absolutely!” Rowan says, grabbing glasses.
Danielle shoves a Diet Coke at her daughter. “Don’t kid yourself,” she says, and Rowan groans.
“And none for me either.” I put a hand on my belly. “Got this brewing.”
“That’s right. It’s me and you only, Cathy.” Danielle leans against her husband and kisses his cheek. “You’re a doll and a peach.”
“And you’re a brightness that won’t ever fade.” He kisses her lovingly, pecking all over her face.
“Disgusting,” Rowan says but she’s got a big smile on her face.
And sitting there, I don’t think I’ve ever experienced warmth like this before.
I never imagined I’d find it in a place like this, at a time like this, when there’s a war happening outside our walls and armed men wandering the halls.
Blood’s smeared all over the ground, there’s death in the soil, and here these people are finding ways to make each other happy.
I sink into it the best I can. I laugh as Cathal tells stories about Connor’s childhood.
Danielle and Rowan pitch in, talking about Connor’s teenage years—(“I was never sure he’d end up coming home each night, but there he was, pockets filled with cash and blood on his sneakers.
That’s my boy.”)—right up into his ascension to the boss of the Maguire clan, and how everything changed for them after that.
“Dad was never a big part of the family,” Rowan explains, and Cathal doesn’t deny it. “He’s still not really, so it was strange when Connor fell into his position, you know? I didn’t really even understand what the Maguires were, aside from my shady cousins.”
“The role changed him,” Cathal says gravely. “He doesn’t smile as much anymore.”
“Did he ever?” Danielle mutters.
“It seems like he has a lot of responsibility,” I say, leaning on my elbows, soaking it all in. “That’s got to be hard.”
“It is.” Cathal cuts his eyes at Danielle and gives her a silencing look. “Connor works hard. He cares about this family more than anything in the world. Which is why I know marrying you was important to him.”
I look down at my hands, at the ring on my finger. “I never meant to cause so much trouble.”
“We know that.” Cathal comes around the island and puts a hand on my shoulder. “Nobody blames you for any of this. Connor did what he did because he felt it was right. Say what you will, but that’s always been his biggest flaw, right, darling?”
“I can name a few others,” Danielle says sweetly.
“Dad’s right,” Rowan says, nudging her mom with her elbow, who grudgingly agrees.
“So if you’re feeling some kind of way about all this, stop right there.” Cathal squeezes my shoulder. “We have your back.”
I don’t know what comes over me. I burst into tears, sobbing so intensely and abruptly that Cathal takes a step back in shock. I apologize, covering my face, but the women immediately come over. Danielle rubs my back and Rowan hugs me tight.
“Pregnancy hormones,” I say, sniffling when I’ve finally got myself under control. “I’m sorry. That was a lot.”
“No apologies needed,” Danielle says firmly. “Trust me, when I was pregnant with Rowie, I was a total wreck.”
“It’s true,” Cathal says. “I caught her crying to an underwear commercial one time. Full-on meltdown.”
I get myself together, only a bit embarrassed.
Cathal starts putting together pasta salad and Danielle pours more prosecco.
Rowan tries to get me to dye my hair again, but I’m too worried I’ll look stupid and turn her down.
They talk about normal things: what to watch later, plans for the next day, worries for the coming weeks, and they don’t make me feel like an outsider, even though that’s what I am.
Yes, it’s true, I saved Rowan’s life a long time ago.
She’s got those scars, but she’s alive because of me.
Except they don’t owe me anything for it, and now I’ve brought so much worse to their doorstep, made them prisoners in this big house along with me, trapped here because of the war I started.
They can make excuses, say Connor did what he did and I have nothing to worry about, but I know deep down these people are suffering because of me, and I wish I could do something to stop it.
“Is my wife hiding in here?” His voice cuts through the laughter leftover from another Cathal story about Connor punching a kid in the face during a soccer game when they were seven. He appears in the doorway, looking unhappy, or maybe that’s his default expression.
“I’m cooking,” Cathal says, waving to his son. “And getting to know your wife.”
“Seems more like you’re telling her stories about me.” Connor approaches, glowering. “You better not have brought up the fucking pee spider again.”
“Oh my god! I forgot about that!” Danielle claps her hands together. “Cathal, tell her the pee spider story!”
“Another time.” Connor takes my arm possessively.
“Wait, no, I want to hear it.” I bat my eyes at him dreamily. “Please, husband?”
“No. You’re done here.”
“Typical Connor spoiling the fun,” Danielle says, rolling her eyes. She walks away and plops back down onto the couch with a glass of prosecco in her hand.
“You have an appointment.” Connor’s tone softens as he helps me to my feet.
“What are you talking about?”
“You need to start seeing a doctor, remember? Well, I hired one to make house calls. She’s waiting downstairs.”
“Good man,” Cathal says with a nod.
“You brought me an OB?” I’m not sure how to feel about that. On the one hand, it’s very sweet, but the doctor who will eventually help birth my baby is kind of a big deal.
“If you dislike her, we’ll get another, and another, and another, until you’re happy.
” Connor says it like he’s negotiating the most important contract of his life.
He’s always like this, taking everything so seriously, and I have to wonder how he came from these people.
Where they’re joyous and kind, he’s reserved and intense, almost ice cold.
But they don’t carry the same weight. Lives don’t depend on them the way they do on Connor. When he goes to work, there’s always the threat of blood. He doesn’t have the luxury of sitting around telling stories and cooking all day.
“Thank you.” I touch his bicep and kiss his cheek. “I really appreciate it.”
That seems to please him.
“He peed on a spider one time,” Rowan says.
“What now?”
“The pee spider story.” She flashes him a maniac smile. “Thought it was the only way to kill it.”
“Monster,” he says, steering me away. “I was six years old and she wasn’t even born yet.”
When we’re in the hallway, I slip my hand into his. “I like them a lot.”
“They’re good people.”
“Even Danielle. She hugged me and thanked me for what I did for Rowan.”
“She can be halfway decent sometimes.” He pulls me against him. “But only sometimes.”